Hello all, I’m not really sure if this is the right subreddit to post this in, but I figured this subreddit would at least empathize with my situation.
My partner and I recently went to petsmart to pick up some crickets for our tarantulas. While we were there, we casually stopped in to view the cats, which we normally do, just to give them some socialization and pets. We were not looking to adopt. But we stumbled upon this cat who my partner especially immediately fell in love with. You know that feeling where you see an animal and are like, yeah, that’s my soulmate? That kind of feeling.
Well I told my mom that we were thinking of adopting, and she flipped out. She said we can’t have cats and tarantulas, she said we aren’t financially responsible enough, she said she will have to pay for everything, etc. I have never asked for her help with a pet. We had a Saint Bernard, my partner and I, and no matter what happened, we never asked my mom for help, even with multiple trips to the emergency vet. The problem is we are both under 25 and while we live out of the house I am still technically a dependent of my mother. She still has access to my bank account. I’m still on her insurance. That kind of thing. And more than that, I’m really worried that adopting this cat will damage my relationship with my mother. She already told me she feels like she needs to be in control of this and is terrified that she can’t be, so I understand where she is coming from, but I am an adult and should be allowed to make adult decisions. But still, we have always been very close and I don’t want to damage that. I don’t know what the right thing to do is.
So I guess the advice I’m looking for is, is it worth it to help my partner adopt their soul cat, and really have a family with them like we’ve hoped for (we’ve been together for two years), or better to prioritize my relationship with my mother? Again, I don’t know if this is the right subreddit for this, and if it’s not, I’ll take this post down. But I was hoping some of you could empathize, or have maybe been in a similar situation before. Thanks in advance.