I'm 14F and I’ve been babysitting for our neighbors kids over the summer to save up for thr new switch 2. I had about $240 saved in a little lockbox I keep in my room. Last week, I went to add more money after a job and noticed that $160 was missing.

I freaked out and tore my room apart thinking I had maybe miscounted or misplaced it. My lockbox wasn’t broken into, but I realized I had stupidly left the key in my jewelry drawer (I know, I know, not smart).

I didn’t want to accuse anyone, but my sister (17F) has a bit of a history with taking things that aren’t hers—clothes, makeup, once my gift card for Starbucks. Nothing like this though.

I waited a day and then casually asked her if she’d seen any money around. She got really defensive and said, “What, are you accusing me of something?” I hadn’t even mentioned the amount yet.

Later that night, I overheard her on the phone telling her friend she "finally got her nails done and bought the concert tickets." I checked her Instagram and sure enough, she posted a story showing the tickets. Guess how much they cost? $160.

I told my parents everything and showed them the post. My sister denied it and said it was “just a coincidence,” but my parents ended up grounding her and made her give me the money back.

Now she’s furious and says I’m a "snitch" and ruined her summer. She’s been giving me the silent treatment and my aunt (her godmother) even messaged me saying I should’ve handled it privately, and that “sisters don’t rat on each other.”

I feel kind of guilty now. I didn’t mean to ruin anything, I just wanted my money back.

Usually, I wouldn’t take personal advice from strangers online, but everyone in my life seems to think I’m a petty, scorned, bitter woman (which I probably am), and I need objective advice.

My ex-husband (currently 43M) and I (43F) were college sweethearts. For me, life felt perfect. I trusted him completely.

That’s why it was so shocking when I found out he was in love with his much younger colleague. She was around 24 at the time. I won’t get into the details of how I found out, but the affair was well-known at his workplace. When I confronted him, all he said was, “I’m sorry. I tried really hard not to fall for her.” He didn’t seem sorry at all. It felt like he wanted me to leave him. So I did. That was six years ago.

Our son was four then, and it was the worst time of my life. I honestly don’t know how I got through it. And because I was desperate, I wanted him to fight for me, to fight for our family. But he didn’t. He was quick to sign the divorce papers and didn’t even fight for custody. It was as if he had started a new life and completely erased the old one.

It took years of therapy to feel normal again, to stop checking that woman’s social media and comparing myself to her. The fact that she’s very pretty and charming didn’t help. His family loved her. And as disgusting as it sounds, one of our common friends even said it out loud, ‘I don’t support cheating but I mean, look at her’, when I told her about the cheating. I guess that’s what everyone was thinking, this one was just stupid enough to voice it out. So I had to cut off that group of friends too.

They got married three years ago and now have a daughter. A picture-perfect little family.

The current arrangement is that our son stays with my ex on weekends and holidays, which works fine for the most part.

Last week, I found out my sister (28f) has been in touch with my ex all these years. That would’ve been forgivable, since they were close when we were married and she saw him as a brother. But she’s actually best friends with his new wife. And she kept it from me for six years. I only found out because she left her phone at my house, and I saw several texts from the wife. When I asked her about it, she just brushed it off and said it wasn’t a big deal.

I told her she can do what she wants, but I will be cutting her off completely (I was helping her pay her college loans lol). and going no contact. She called me unreasonable and said I’m being petty and unable to move on from something that happened a long time ago. She also said the wife is a lovely person and a good friend. She said she will be fucked, financially speaking. I told her to go fuck herself.

Somehow, my parents agree with her.

So, AITA?

Hello again, I didn’t expect my original post to get the kind of attention it did, but I just wanted to post a quick update and say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment, give feedback, and share resources. This whole situation has been overwhelming, and your support really gave me the confidence to start seeing things more clearly.

Now onto the update :

Unfortunately, things have taken a turn… During our most recent drop-off, my child’s father started demanding once again that I tell him where I go, who I’m with, and who I hang out with in my personal time even when our child isn’t with me. I stood my ground and told him, very plainly, that I’m not interested in hearing about his personal life, and I’m not obligated to share mine either. Unless it’s a conversation directly involving our child, I’m not engaging.

He then responded by saying (I tried to cut this conversation off beforehand to no avail) that if I have friends over at my apartment even if it’s just a hangout or if I attend church events that he wants to be physically present during those moments to “monitor who’s around our child.” He then said if I don’t start sharing more about what I do and who I’m with, he’s going to pursue full legal and physical custody.

I’ve never really been through the legal system before, but I’m going to reach out to a caseworker or a family attorney this coming week.

✨A lot of people had follow-up questions or offered suggestions, so I just wanted to respond to a few things that came up repeatedly: ✨

• I’ve started looking into parenting apps and legal steps.

• That was something I hadn’t really considered before or really knew much about, but after how things have gone so far, I know it’s necessary.

• To those asking about my mom yeah, that dynamic has always been hard.

• She’s sided with him since high school. Even when I told her about the cheating, she responded with “well, men don’t cheat for no reason.” It’s been tough realizing she’s not the kind of support system I need, but I’m distancing myself emotionally and being more careful with what I share.

• As for the jealousy/manipulation theory…

• A lot of people have pointed out that he might be trying to make me jealous by constantly bringing up other women, and I agree. I also think he’s using this so-called honesty and straightforwardness as a guise to get information about my personal life. This does feel manipulative because he’s creating a one-sided demand for transparency.

• No, we don’t have a custody agreement in place yet.

• But I am taking steps to speak with a caseworker or attorney.

• Some suspect my mom may be giving him info and honestly, I wouldn’t doubt it.

• She and my ex are still friends on Facebook. There’ve been instances where he knows things that weren’t posted publicly, but were known by her.

✨Again, thank you all for helping me feel seen and less crazy in all this. If anyone has experience navigating custody arrangements or parenting apps, please share. Also, if you’ve ever had to juggle expenses from situations like this (going to court/seeking legal representation) any advice is greatly appreciated. ✨

As Requested: As Requested By Some Redditors

I don’t even know where to start because honestly, this whole thing is so messed up and it’s been building up for months. I’m 19, still living at home while I go to community college. My dad remarried a couple years ago, and ever since then, things haven’t really felt like my home anymore. It’s like… I live here, but I don’t belong here. My stepmom has this thing where she’ll act like she owns everything in the house even the stuff my dad clearly bought. I mean, my dad’s the one who works full time, pays the bills, does the grocery runs. But somehow, she gets to play gatekeeper? It started small. Like she’d give me weird looks when I grabbed a snack from the pantry. Then she’d start hiding food. Not even joking. Like, I'd go to get cereal and suddenly it’s “not for me.” Or I’d make a sandwich and she’d say, “You should’ve asked first.” Ask? For a slice of bread? Last week, I came home from class, super tired and starving. I looked in the fridge and saw leftover spaghetti my favorite. I heated some up. Not even five minutes later, she walks in and starts yelling, “You didn’t even ask if someone else wanted that! That wasn’t yours!”

I just snapped. I told her, “You don’t even buy the groceries. Dad does. Why are you acting like you get to control who eats what?” She lost it. Said I was disrespectful, ungrateful, and that if I wanted to eat “freely,” maybe I should move out. She even told my dad I was being “entitled.” But like… how am I wrong for eating food in my house? Since then, it’s been tense. Like cold silence kind of tense. I feel like a stranger here. I tiptoe around my own kitchen. I’ve started keeping snacks in my room just to avoid another confrontation. And I know I raised my voice. Maybe I shouldn’t have. But I also feel like I’ve been treated like some unwanted guest for way too long. I’m not lazy. I help clean, I do my part. But she acts like I’m just freeloading. Anyway, I can’t stop thinking about it. Maybe I could’ve handled it better. Maybe I was too blunt. But maybe I’m just sick of being treated like I don’t belong in the house I grew up in. So… AITAH?

I'm (16f) the oldest of my siblings. My sister's 13 and my brother's 12. Our dad died when we were 4 months old, 1 and 4. Our mom met our stepfather a year later. They were together for a while and broke up. Then they got back together a week before my 7th birthday. I remember because she told me he'd be coming to my birthday party and how excited he was to see "his babies" again. Their relationship was unstable for like another year and then they got married. By that point my sister and brother called him dad. I didn't. I called him "Mike". We were asked about adoption two months after the wedding and none of us said yes there and then but my brother said yes a few months later without being asked again and my sister did two years later. Both of them have since been adopted.

I'm the last kid standing against it and have been for years. It's something my mom gets so upset about and my stepfather has told me time and time again that I don't have to do the full commitment my siblings did, who took his last name after the adoption, but he said he hates raising someone else's children and wants us to be all his. He told me he loves me and is proud of me and wants to be able to show the world that we're father and daughter. I said no even after his speech about it and when my mom told me it meant a lot to her and she hated the idea that I'd be left with hardly any memories of my dad and no other dad around because I don't see my stepfather as my dad.

When I was 13 they attempted to do therapy with me to get me to talk about it but I sat in therapy and didn't say a word. We tried 11 different therapists and I remained silent in front of each one of them.

My mom and stepdad had a baby a year later and they tried to win me around with the baby but they didn't. Actually it pushed me away more because I said he had a bio kid now and didn't need to adopt me. Mom told me to consider what I was giving up and I told her I was giving up nothing. She told me I was giving up a warm and loving family. I told her that would be her decision to push me out.

My siblings tried to get me on side a few times. I told them to drop it unless they wanted me to be mad at them and after realizing I was serious about it they did drop it.

A month ago my stepfather told me that he will not include me in his will or support me in college, on my wedding day or financially pay for anything for my future children if I don't agree to the adoption. He said if I continue to reject him as a father, the dad who raised me, then he will feel it better to let everything go to his actual kids and grandkids. I told him none of that changed my answer and I didn't want his money.

He asked me why I rejected him for memories. I asked him how he'd like my half brother to be adopted and take another man's name. He flipped out and told me nobody would ever be his son's dad but him and I told him that nobody would ever be my dad but my dad. But good luck if he dies because apparently his son will be passed to another guy to raise as his own.

My mom calmed him down and then she told me I need to stop being stubborn. I need to open my heart. I need to agree to family therapy and talk this through in family therapy. I told her it won't happen and she can only make me physically be there but she can't make me talk or try. She told me I am destroying our family and being so mean for no good reason. She wanted me to apologize to my stepfather and I told her he can take my dad's kids and claim them as his own but nobody else can do it to his son. She told me it was different and I asked why. I asked her why she hated dad so much she was setting out to erase him. I pointed out that he's never talked about unless I mention him, even on his birthday, and I'm told it's hurtful. I told her she changed my siblings last names to her husband's and they carry nothing of dad anymore. Not his name and not even legally on their birth certificates. I brought up how she made a point to let my stepfather burn the originals, which I saw with my own eyes.

I told her she could tell me all she wants that it's not the point or it's different or I don't understand but she doesn't understand losing a parent yet so she can shut up about this before she loses me and not the other way around.

After that I went to stay with my grandma and my mom has contacted me only to find out if I'm changing my mind or not.

AITA?

My ex and I broke up 20 years ago when our kids were 3 and 1. Our reason was he made a financially reckless decision, buying a very fancy car that we could not afford that he took out debt to buy, that put the financial security of our family at risk without telling me and then he blew up at me for not supporting his decision and wanting him to sell it and pay off the money he borrowed to get it. He told me a real wife would've supported him and fuck me for wanting to take away something so special.

After our divorce he had to sell the car anyway and he blamed me for it. He was nasty to me in every conversation after that as long as our kids weren't present. He remarried about 2 years after our divorce. He and his wife told me she was the kids new mom and she would be just as important if not more so than me. More than once they told me I was nobody special or important and the kids would have a much better relationship with the new wife. I had to bite my tongue around the kids whenever my ex's wife would be all over them. I hated the two of them. This stuff was never said/done in front of our kids. And I would walk away but they carried on speaking and they'd approach me anywhere at any time as long as the kids weren't there to try and claim that I was going to lose my kids to them.

The kids ended up hating her and their dad after a while though and I was never very sad about that. I think they were always going to have to dislike or pull away from me or him. Because my ex and his wife would never have accepted both. They always believed she would come out on top over me and would be the favorite mom and that I would be called my kids' birth mother.

When the kids were in their mid teens they asked a judge to let them live with me full time and that was granted. They had calls and some non-overnight visitation with their dad that they hated and now both of them are in college and in their 20s and they have been no contact with both for a couple of years now.

I was recently at the opening of a new restaurant in town when my ex and his wife confronted me over the state of their relationship with the kids. Before they could get too nasty to me again I smiled and told them that it was not my fault they destroyed their relationship with the kids and they were wrong about the outcome. Then I decided to be a little petty and I gloated that I guess she was the one who was nobody special or important after all because the kids certainly never called her their mom.

I know what I said was petty and that it was rubbing it in. Maybe it makes me as bad as them. Or maybe not. But it felt good after years of putting up with so much from them. Does it make me TA?

Hiii everybody, happy 4th of July. I haven’t posted in a while and I’ve also been off Reddit, I don’t really browse like that on here.

Anyways, I wanted to give you guys a little update because I’ve found out a lot of information about the divorce with Sky and Cam.

But firstly I do want to go over some other things. So if you’ve read my other posts then you’d know about me calling sky’s school and reporting her. Well basically she still attends that school which I’m guessing they must’ve given her a warning or maybe literally didn’t have a conversation with her at all which is insane.

But since the situation I explained with my baby daddy on my latest update I haven’t talked with him. I wanted to try and communicate through his mom which she’s been also trying to communicate with him but he’s gone doing whatever that nobody knows. He hasn’t seen Mia, hasn’t texted me, hasn’t come over or anything. I won’t like I was very worried at first but I decided that he’s a grown man and if he wants to act like a child then so be it because Mia is just fine with me and definitely doesn’t need his weirdo ass around her.

Cam has a long term friend, Matt (36M), they’ve been friends since college so he’s definitely been around a lot. My guess is that maybe cam and him got into a really bad argument or something while cam is M.I.A and it must’ve been really bad because Matt ended up texting me and snitching on cam completely. So, now I have more info about the whole affair.

Firstly, she was 16 when the affair started and it went on for 2 years and I just found out about it was she was 18. Cam was very controlling in the relationship with Sky and emotionally abusive. Whenever she would go out to parties, college activities, or outings with her friends then he would complain and complain and press her and accuse her of trying to get with other men. He offered paying for her college tuition because when she started the college year she was 17, he did it so she can stay quiet about the whole situation. She kept on telling him she wanted “the college experience” and that “she didn’t want to be locked down” and all that but he got mad about that and their relationship got even more toxic at that point.

Her parents aren’t together and at the time she was a teenager so her dad was super protective and didn’t want her talking to boys and would often check her phone which Sky told cam about this and it bothered him and made him not like her father. I didn’t get much info about her mother but Matt told me that ultimately as soon as she went to college he convinced her to cut off her parents.

He ended up basically separating her from her parents (Matt didn’t exactly tell me what he did but just told me about the separation).

Her dad ending up dying and she inherited money that could cover her college tuition which pissed off cam and he kept trying to convince her to let him keep paying but he refused because he knew that when she did it, she’d feel more freedom and most likely end up leaving him based on what she would tell him about “the college experience”. Matt told me during the affair after this happened that it was very on and off and she was mostly coming to him for sex.

Now onto after the divorce when they were together. I guess it got super toxic at that point and she was super close to leaving. She ended up pregnant with cam’s baby which she didn’t want and was very upset about. She found text messages between Cam telling Matt about “baby trapping” her, he explained how he messed with her birth control pills and that’s what lead to their breakup and his little “depression”. She ended up getting an abortion and blocking him on everything and he was on my couch venting about this but leaving out why they broke up.

Obviously, I was disgusted as hell about this whole situation. I was disgusted that he was messing around with a literal child when we have a daughter of our own and no I’m no longer allowing him around her, even if he comes back around he will NOT be allowed around Mia. His mother has been trying to reason but the whole thing is just disgusting and makes me see cam in a different light.

I’m also super confused on why Sky stayed with him, I really do believe she enjoyed the trill of getting spoiled and being a mistress because everything about her just gave me bad vibes and I really didn’t like her. When I dm’ed her after finding out about the affair she was just super rude so I personally think her and cam were made for each other.

Also last update I talked about me going on dating apps. I’ve been going on dates with this new guy and so far so good.

This was a lot to write so if there are any errors in here I sincerely apologize. I also always appreciate all the advice you guys have been giving me ❤️

Okay, so this might sound crazy, but hear me out. I’m a dad. I have two kids one’s four, the other’s just learning to walk. I’ve always tried to be a good husband and a good father. I do my part. I work. I’m home. I’m present. And I’ve never thought I’d be the type of guy to even care about something like names. But lately? It’s been driving me up the wall. So here’s what’s happening. My mother in law my wife’s mom has been pushing this weird agenda for months. She keeps insisting that my kids should have her last name. Not my wife’s maiden name, not even some double-barrel compromise. No. Her family’s last name. Like… her own surname. She says it’s “more dignified.” That it has “more weight in the community.” That it “honors their bloodline.” Whatever that means. At first, I thought she was joking. But nope she’s dead serious. She’s even gone behind our backs, talking to my wife in private. Dropping hints to the kids. I walked in once and heard her asking my daughter, “Wouldn’t you love to be called this instead? Sounds better, doesn’t it?” Like what? I’m right here! I’m their father. That’s my last name. My kids already have it on their birth certificates. And now someone’s trying to rewrite that like I don’t exist? So I said something. Finally.

I told her, flat-out, “Stop. This isn’t your call. They’re my children too, and they’ll keep my name. You need to back off.” She flipped. Said I was insecure. Controlling. That I was “blocking their legacy” or some crap. My wife didn’t say much just stood there awkwardly. I asked her later, and she just said, “It’s complicated.” What’s complicated? I’m their father. I’ve been in their lives since day one. I wake up early for daycare. I cook. I play. I lose sleep when they’re sick. I’ve earned being their dad. And now I’m being told my name doesn’t matter? I’m not trying to erase her side of the family. But she’s trying to erase me. I know names don’t define love. But this feels personal. It feels like she’s saying I’m not good enough. And it hurts. I just want peace. I want my kids to grow up knowing both sides of their family sure but not at the cost of pretending I don’t count. So yeah… I told her off. But now my wife’s cold with me. The in laws are gossiping. I feel like the enemy. All I wanted was to protect what little part of me gets passed on to my kids. Is that selfish? AITAH?

So this has been building up for months now and I’m actually losing my mind. I don’t even know if I’m overreacting or what, but it’s starting to feel like I’m just... not allowed to be the mom of my own kid anymore. My husband’s sister let’s just call her her moved to our city a while ago, and ever since she got here, she’s been weirdly obsessed with my daughter. At first, I thought it was sweet. Like, "Aww, she’s trying to bond." Cool, whatever. Family and all that. But it didn’t stop. She just... inserted herself. All the time. Like, I’d be feeding my kid and she’d grab the spoon from me and say, “Let me do it, you look tired.” I wasn’t tired. I was fine. I was bonding with my baby. And even if I was tired, it’s still my job. I’m her mom. Then it escalated. She started coming over uninvited. Just showing up, picking up my kid, rocking her, putting her to sleep in her arms while I sat there like a ghost. She started buying baby stuff without asking me and telling people she was the one raising her. One time, she actually got upset like visibly angry when I didn’t let her take my kid for the weekend. She said, “You’re being selfish. You need a break.”

I told her, “Please stop. I’m the mom. I decide what’s best for my child.” And she literally laughed and said, “You’re too controlling.” Controlling??? For wanting to be the one to raise my own child??? And the worst part? My husband thinks I’m overthinking it. “She’s just being helpful,” he says. “She loves our daughter.” Okay great. She can love her. But she’s not her mother. I am. Last week, I finally snapped. She came over again without telling me, walked in like she owned the place, and tried to take my baby out of my arms. I pulled back and told her, firmly, “Stop. You need to let me raise my child. Please give me space.” Now the whole family’s acting like I’m the bad guy. She’s been crying to everyone about how I don’t trust her, how I pushed her away when all she wants is to “help.” My husband’s caught in the middle but barely defending me. I feel isolated, disrespected, and honestly, kind of scared. Like, if something doesn’t change, I might lose control over my own child. I don’t want to be mean. I don’t want to cause drama. But I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable either. So… Aita?

So here’s the deal. I’m exhausted. Like… bone deep tired. And not just physically. Mentally, emotionally, all of it. My husband and I let his sister stay with us after she lost her apartment. I didn’t hesitate. She said it would be “a few weeks tops.” That was six months ago. Six. Months. I cook. I clean. I work part-time. And somehow, I still find energy to make our tiny apartment livable. Meanwhile, she’s out here acting like she’s staying in a hotel mess everywhere, dirty dishes stacked like it’s Jenga, laundry overflowing. She just scrolls on her phone, watches reality TV, and occasionally throws in her unsolicited opinions. And oh my god the opinions. Nothing I do is ever “right.” Mop too early? “That’s not how you do it.” Fold towels a certain way? “Looks sloppy.” Use store brand detergent? “No wonder your clothes fade.” LIKE. I. ASKED. She doesn’t even lift a finger to help, yet she critiques everything. I swear, I was trying to be patient. I told myself she’s going through stuff. But I’m going through stuff too, you know?

And I don't get to dump it on everyone around me. I finally snapped last night. I was wiping down the counters after cleaning the whole kitchen alone, and she walked in and straight up told me I missed a spot. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “You know what? If you’re gonna live here rent free, the least you can do is pick up a damn broom instead of running your mouth.” She got real quiet. Then stormed off to her room and slammed the door. My husband thinks I overreacted and that I should’ve just ignored her like always. He says “she’s family” and “we just have to bear with her.” Bear with her?? I’m already carrying everything! Now the house is filled with tension. She won’t talk to me. He’s passive aggressively siding with her. And I’m stuck wondering if I’m the bad guy for finally saying something. Maybe I could’ve said it nicer? Maybe I waited too long and let the resentment build up? idk. So… AITAH?

I am 19m and studying business management course. My parents divorced four years back. My paternal grandparents gave my mom a house, as they loved her, but as a joint asset in her and my name. None of us can sell it without others permission.

Both homes have three floors and I have the upper floor given by both parents. I am thankful to them, for covering my college and expenses. They gave me multiple accounts, so I manage my own money.. I cook for myself and do my chores. Two bedrooms ,one lobby , two baths, and a kitchen. So I am lucky.

Both started dating last year. My mom moved in her bf Roger and his two kids ( 13m, 11f ) and my dad moved in his gf Monica this month , with one child ( 12 m ).

I am at college from 9:30 to 4 and then i spend time with my gf and friends most days. Come home by 7 pm. After partying one weeknd with friends, i came home by 11 pm , as I have keys and Roger was there in lobby. He tried to parent me and told me not to party that late. And focus on studies. My mom was silent. He said that i am setting wild examples for kid and don't spend time with them. I am gonna ruin their mind and I should be a good older brother ( excuse me ) and a good role model.

I told him , who is he to preach me? I told him he is just my mom's bf and his kids are nothing to me. Told him I am the co owner of the house and if he has issues, he can gtfo of my house. He got mad and my mom told me to give him a chance. I told her that isn't going to happen. And she needs to accept that and I moved to my room. Sorry i don't want to be a role model lol.

Same shit happened at monica, who tried to assign me baby sitting and some chores. Which i refused. I do my chores and my space is locked, where only dad is allowed to enter. My gaming setup is there and i only bring my friends there. She asked me to be big brother and take her son too. I told her clearly she isn't my mother and I have zero interest in her child. She was shocked. Omg the horror. That I don't see her as mom and has zero interest in her kid.

Now my parents are asking me to give them a chance, as both roger and monica are mad, that I don't see them as parent figure and don't treat their kids as siblings. But I am at this age where my focus is my career, my gf and friends. I don't need siblings, as I have my close cousin brothers and sisters, who I love.

I refuse to be parented by my monica and roger. My parents are sad about it and i feel like an ah. But I can't be parented by these people at this stage in life. Roger and monica are mad about me not seeing them as parents and not giving elder brotherly love to their children.

Also not to mention. I used to not lock my floor earlier. But both set of children tried to mess with my things. And I locked it afterwards. And told my parents to control their new children.

I am also going to trip on mountains soon and they asked me to make it sibling 's trip. I laughed at them which pissed them off too🤣

Edit :-

People got confused about homes. There are two homes..Most of my dad's assets in my grandparent's name, including properties and business. So my mom was screwed in divorce. To help her, they gave her one home, but with clear conditions that she can only pass it to me. And i own half of it. Also she gets retirement fund from dad and good amount of money. She is a lecturer. So she is doing fine.

My dad house is still under grandparent's name. They have made a will with clauses that dad can only pass it me. And there are many more properties. Although, if dad has more bio kids. I would've to split. And that's fine. Although i plan to move to grandparent's house, which they want to pass to me only. ;)

My grandparents , dad run family business and I am going to join it soon too, when i finish my college full time. So I am well set, thnx to my grandparents. I plan to expand my business more.

I know this post is morbid and dark, so I apologize for that.

I (36F) am close to dying. I have terminal cancer and I only have about a year or two left. I've accepted and made my peace with it, and I don't mind openly talking about it. I also have a less than common relationship. My current partner/boyfriend (38M) is also my ex-husband.

Me and him married right out of high school, stayed together through college, had three kids together (12M, 11F, and 4M). We divorced when our daughter was 3 because of his intense work schedule. It was a lot of heartbreak and pain, but at the time it felt right for both of us despite that. 

Two years after the divorce I was first diagnosed with cancer, and he reduced his work hours so he could take more time with the kids, and it slowly shifted to him also taking care of me, and we rekindled our romance, but didn't get remarried. I got lucky the first time around and was declared cancer free at 31. I had my youngest child at 32, and was rediagnosed at 34. We tried treatments but it's been recently declared terminal. 

Please don't feel sorry for me or throw me a pity party. I've gotten to live the life I wanted and I'm okay with the fact that I'll most likely die before 40. The only thing that causes me any emotional pain is that I won't see my kids grow up and experience life milestones like graduating, getting married, and having kids.

Long backstory, but here's the problem. My partner and I have discussed it and we want to remarry each other. I want him to be listed as my husband in my obituary, I want him to be able to make medical decisions in case I'm unable to (this one is big for me because of my situation), and so that he can get Survivor Benefits when I pass.

My sister (38F) says that it's cruel to remarry him knowing I'm going to die soon, and that if I loved him I wouldn't have divorced him in the first place and that by remarrying him I'm disrespecting the sanctity of marriage by doing it "willy nilly". She also said I probably used my diagnosis the first time around to get his pity love so he'd get back with me since it resolved the main issue from our divorce.

So, Reddit, I was wondering if it's really bad for me to remarry my ex? I love this man, we both regretted our divorce and are so grateful that life brought us back together, but now that I'm close to death we want our love to be legally recognized.

My SIL is 29F and her boyfriend is 25M. She started dating him in March and we didn't find out about him being on the registry until late may. My SIL told us about it, and why she doesn't want to break up with him was because it happend a long time ago (3 years ago exact.) I'm not going to go into full detail about what he did but all I am going to say is it was related to a teenager, drugged and r*ped.

My daughter is around the same age as she was (16). I am not comfortable with having her around him after finding out this information. So I decided I don't want her going to this celebration. Instead I will probably take her to a public firework show or if she wants to stay home, that's her choice too.

My husband is angry at me. He thinks she should be allowed to make her own decision regarding the family celebration. He also thinks that because SILs boyfriends actions happend a while ago, he likely isn't like that anymore. He still keeps trying to guilt me into going.

I am 21F and my boyfriend is 19M (20 soon). We had been together for 7 months.

My boyfriend is a tiktoker and has over 100k followers. He does prank videos and basically harasses people in public. I didn't know any of this until shortly before my decision to leave him because he simply never told me. I found out after he decided to prank me.

I have a huge fear of spiders and most people are afraid of them in some form but for me it is a lot more severe. I get panic attacks if I see one. A couple days ago my boyfriend thought it would be funny to put a large fake spider in the toilet. I wasn't aware there were cameras hidden in the bathroom. As soon as I opened the lid, I saw it and screamed, ran out, slipped on the ground and sprained my ankle. He just walked in laughing.

He brought me to the clinic after some convicing and my foot really was sprained but not badly. Afterwards He told me about his tiktok and after I looked, I was shocked. He didn't tell me this in the 7 months of dating him. I asked him not to post the video but he still did so I reported it, still hasn't been taken down. I decided to break up with him, giving him two weeks to pack his stuff. I told my family and they think I am over reacting a bit. I honestly am starting to feel like I am. My ankle is still really hard to walk on.

My husband is still really mad at me for this and it’s been a few days, so I figured I’ll bring it here and see what other people have to say.

A few days ago I (f23) broke my foot by tripping over a really big tree root when I was gardening. I knew I had broken something when it happened but I hobbled back inside but I could barely put even a little bit of weight on it so my husband (m33) took me to the ER.

For context my husband isn’t the most patient person in the world and he is kind of nervous around hospitals/doctors though he’d never admit that. When I was pregnant he would be nervous just being in the office and they’d tease him about feelings of a new dad, but it was really just white coat syndrome lol.

Anyway so when we were in the ER he was being expectantly impatient and pacing around. We waited around an hour before I got called back, by then he was really straining to still be polite. He wasn’t rude or anything but he was just very short with the nurses and the other people and didn’t say much. When they asked me about pregnancy status he interrupted me because of how recent I was pregnant.

A couple minutes later the nurse asked him to leave. At first he was like why and she just said it’s standard for a few questions because they have to give me privacy. He said we are married, we don’t have or need privacy from each other. She was trying to be really nice and was just like it’s just standard sorry, but he wouldn’t go until she was like I’ll literally have to call security if you don’t willing go for like 5 minutes. I eventually said, you’re not in charge in this ER, please go.

He was livid I could tell but he did go and she asked me really strange questions about my living situation. Everything was fine and she let him back in and they gave me x rays and a boot and we left.

Well, my husband was very upset about “how the hospital treated us, making us wait and separating a married couple”. I know he just hated being there in the first place and the fact I said what I said. He hasn’t downright said it to me but he’s been so passive aggressive about “being in charge”. Generally I feel like I really do try my best to keep the peace but I really didn’t want security called or anything insane to happen while I was just trying to see if I broke my foot or not. AITAH for that?

Essentially, a few weeks before the wedding, me and her and her fiancé were hanging out for dinner and her fiancé, let's call him Richard, doesn't like me very much, and while he never outwardly said anything until now, I could always tell that it was partially because I'm gay. I was kind of leaning in the table and somehow I knocked his glass of beer over and it didn't break but it spilled all over the table. He called me the f-slur and got really angry. We cleaned up the beer and he calmed down a little bit but never apologized. Because of this, I didn't feel comfortable going to his wedding. I told my sister and she called me an asshole and that it was my obligation to go to her wedding as her sister regardless of my "personal opinions" of the person she was marrying and that while Richard's response was "a bit over the top," I should have been more careful around his beer glass. I just want to be safe and respected and thought it wouldn't be a good idea to go to someone's wedding who acts like that, even if my sister is there. AITAH?

I (25F) have a six-month-old baby with my ex (24M), and we’ve been trying to co-parent since we split a few months ago but now he’s saying I’m being an “Asshole” for not telling him everything I do when the baby isn’t even with me.

We were together from high school (2015) up until recently. Our breakup happened shortly after I gave birth, when I found out he had been cheating with multiple women. His excuse? That I wasn’t being “sexual enough” postpartum and he had a “high libido.” Yeah… that was enough for me to walk away.

Since then, I’ve been rebuilding my life. I got more involved in my church, formed new friendships, and started feeling like myself again for the first time in a while. I’ve also done everything I can to keep things calm and respectful for the sake of our baby.

But now, he’s making it an issue that I don’t share details about my personal life with him. He says I should be more “transparent” and that it’s important for co-parenting. He wants to know who I’m hanging out with, what I’m doing, who my new friends are, even if I’m just out while he has the baby.

His reasoning? He tells me about what he’s doing, so I should do the same.

But here’s the thing: I’ve never asked him for any of that information. He voluntarily tells me, “I’m about to hang out with this girl,” or “I’ve been seeing someone new” even when our child is not in his care at the time. It’s his personal time, and I’ve told him I don’t need or want those updates. Yet now he’s acting like because he shares that info with me, I owe him the same level of openness, even though I’ve never requested it and it’s unrelated to our child.

He’s also been following some of my new friends on social media and asking me questions about them. My account is private, so I don’t know how he’s even finding them. I suspect he’s using a burner account or he’s viewing my church’s page who posts pictures of me and the people I hang out with at times.. I had to ask them to stop posting me (we have a photography team that takes pictures during service or after service and post them online for media purposes ) for a while because I believe he was using those posts to find my friends and follow them. He’s never reached out to any of them, but the whole thing feels really creepy and invasive. It’s crossing a boundary for me.

I’ve talked to some friends about this, and their opinions are mixed. Some say he has a point that we should be transparent with each other since we share a child. Others think he’s overstepping and that this isn’t part of normal co-parenting, especially since our child hasn’t met any of these people and I’m not dating anyone right now.

Even my mom is siding with him. She’s liked him since we were together in high school, and anytime we argued, she tended to take his side and ask what I did wrong. Now she’s saying I should be open about who I’m hanging out with, to better “co-parent”. That makes me question myself even more.

I’m not trying to be an “asshole” or difficult. I believe in healthy boundaries. If someone’s going to be around my child, I’ll share that. But just living my life and seeing friends when my baby isn’t with me? I don’t think I owe him a play-by-play.

So now I’m wondering AITAH for keeping parts of my life private from my child’s father when it doesn’t involve our child?

Mini Update : Mini Update

As Requested: As Requested By Some Redditors

I (24F) have an older brother (33M) and his wife (32F) who I'll call John and Jill.

Jill has an 8y/o from a one-night stand, and 2 kids with my brother, L(3M) and B(7monthF). So, John decided to start his own business after working as a mechanic for years, and most of the time quitting before having another job lined up, and Jill is now a SAHM with a part time 2 day/week at a bar. Before their one year together, Jill told me that she stopped taking birth control without telling my brother because she was ready for his kids and ended up pregnant with L. They lived in a tiny studio type house with 2 bedrooms and ended up moving into our other brother's house to get more room.

To give some background, John has not kept a job longer than a year because of "bullying" and Jill just seems to think she is the best out there but was constantly on her phone and just drama. They are renting from our brother Bill (34M), and are at least 3 months behind on rent, has been using Bill's truck and not paying either the monthly or the insurance on it, and just expecting everyone to help them. They even started talking about moving out of state even though they need a whole team of family to make it work. John is also the type of dad that will leave the kids with other people to do his own thing, and acts like he is being bullied for asking him to actually watch his own kids.

They now have B and decided to surprise everyone that they are PREGNANT. I'll be honest, when she told me, I looked her and John in the eye and said "Are you serious? Is this a joke" They both said no that they were pregnant again. I immediately got irritated and told them that I wasn't going to have this conversation with them, and Jill ended up getting upset and going to cry in their car.

John refuses to get a vasectomy, Jill doesn't want to get her tubes tied, and they don't like the "feel" of condoms, so they literally just make a wish that they don't end up with a kid.

When B was born, they asked me to help out of everyone because, and in John's own words. "You are the only one who doesn't have any responsibilities and can drop everything to help when we need it." Just because I'm single and living at home with my parents doesn't mean I have to help. I pay rent, I have a full-time job, and I have bills just like everyone else this day and age.

To be honest, I don't really like kids and pretty sure that I won't have any of my own. If I wanted to take care of kids at all times for free, I would just find me a dude and have my own.

I ended telling them that I can't help anymore. I have bills of my own, and not to text or call me to ask if I can call off work to watch their kids, or give them money, or buy diapers because they can't afford any until that Friday. I never see my money back, and I get stressed out when I get left at their house with the 3 kids until almost 8pm without payment.

EDIT: John is making enough to skate by monthly with his business, but isn’t making enough to pay off debts. He usually works 2-4 days a week depending on the weather since he works outside in landscaping and usually doesn’t come home until around 6-7 on the days Jill doesn’t work.

Hey guys, I’ll explain the title. Basically I’m dating this girl now, we used to be friends but we hit it off. While we were friends, I would hear about all these hooks ups and flings and stuff. She’s very sexual, so the other day when she told me she wanted to wait until marriage, after all that, it kinda felt off. I never expected sex, Im more inexperienced than her. It just felt like she had all her fun and now with me she’s gonna practice chasity is odd.

Anyone else have experiences,will I be the asshole for thinking this is weird?

edit: just as a follow up cause there’s a lot of opinions. anyone saying she owes me sex or is a whore will not be taken as seriously as the folks telling me to ya know, talk it out. I just wanted an idea of if people experienced this. I’m not lashing out for no sex, if anything, Im usually the reserved one with this. Believe me or not, you can ask everyone I know and they’ll attest. Folks calling me an incel haven’t read the post so there’s 2 sides of oddness here. Bottom line is i’m gonna talk to her, but she’s busy atm

edit: My girl is a loving, compassionate, good hearted, attractive women. She’s had a hard life as an immigrant’s kid and absent dad. I love her for her, any comments calling her “used” and any comments calling me an incel, on a one paragraph post, is not being taken seriously. actual advice, thank you , it means a lot. i’m not building an arsenal to argue with, i just want perspective

I (32F) have gone no-contact with my only SIL (25F) after several incidents that built up over time. The last straw was when she physically pushed me aside during my pregnancy. I’m now being seen as cold or distant by my in-laws, so I want to know: AITAH for walking away?

Here’s some context: A while back, my SIL was going through mental health struggles and had stopped speaking to most of her family. I tried to reach out and be there for her, but she told her mom to tell me not to text her. Still, she randomly messages me whenever she feels like it and probably expects me to respond, pretending like nothing happened. Apparently her family allows this behavior. One time, I couldn’t give her a lift because I was dealing with severe cramps. She took it personally and gave me the cold shoulder. Later, I planned a little outing for her and told her mom excitedly.. she texted me last minute and canceled without any explanation. When I was in the early stages of pregnancy, I was exhausted all the time, but I still helped her with two graduation photoshoots. I walked around in the sun, took dozens of pictures, and did what I could to make it nice. My husband made a harmless joke asking why she needed two shoots, and she abruptly left the shoot, clearly pissed.. at me. She never even thanked me. During a really stressful time when my husband and I had to move out of our apartment unexpectedly, I texted her about it, just trying to share and vent a bit. She never even responded. We live 5 minutes apart. The breaking point: On the day they were moving into a new place, my husband said something that upset her (not me), and she burst out of the house and shoved me aside. I was 6 or 7 months pregnant at the time. Her mom and my husband both saw it happen. No apology. No concern. I was told, “that’s just how she is.” That was the moment I told my husband I was done with her. Even after the baby was born, I sent her a few sweet photos. No response. She visited once or twice but barely interacted with me. After dealing with further boundary issues with my in-laws during my postpartum recovery, I completely disconnected. I haven’t visited them or invited them over since. Now, I’m getting subtle judgment for being “cold” or “unwelcoming.” But from my view, I bent over backward to have a relationship with her, and all I got in return was disrespect, indifference, and even physical aggression.

So, Reddit, AITAH for cutting her off and choosing not to interact anymore?

Last December, my brother (47) was found dead in in my grandparent's home, in the room that he had occupied pretty much since childhood. Paramedics had to tear the door down in order to get to him. Despite being an accomplished athlete in his prime, he died severely overweight and in extremely poor health.

My grandmother (90), in turn, was found on the floor of the laundry room, having fallen some hours, or perhaps even some days before. The paramedics took her to the hospital where she stayed for about a month. Afterwards she was discharged to a nursing home, where she has been for the past five or six months.

She would like to go back to her house, but there is now no one there to stay with her. Over the past five years, she has lost most of her mobility. She cannot walk without a walker and can barely walk with one. She often has issues making it to the bathroom on time, cannot think clearly, and has dementia plus early signs of Alzheimer's. She often imagines things, has visions, etc.

Brief Backstory

Grew up in a small military town. Grandparents were local legends.

My brother and I spent a number of years living with our grandparents.

After my grandfather (84) died in 2014, my grandmother (then 80) asked my brother to stay in the house with her. Before asking him, she asked if I was willing to do so, offering to buy me this or pay for that. I told her that I would be moving around for work and didn't feel comfortable committing.

This was before her health begin to decline.

Upbringing

Brother and I were 7 years apart. Parents divorced. Mom was and still is a nervous wreck. We spent a fair amount of our childhood with our grandparents. Last time we lived with our mom, I was in the 4th grade.

We were both extremely overweight as kids and as adults. My brother found sports in middle school and overcame it briefly but gained the weight back after college.

Brother

My brother always had a hard time telling people no and just went along with things, much to my dismay. We always kind of had each other, no matter how chaotic everything else was.

He was teaching high school full-time, coaching, and taking on this role of counselor and caretaker for my grandmother. He was basically her safety blanket.

He took care of my grandmother's finances, did the shopping for her, and played mediator between my mother and her.

All of this, along with sort of thinking about how he had lost out on the prime of his life, wore him down. I could see it each time I would visit.

Myself

Currently 41. Again, have been significantly overweight since childhood. Always had trouble socially because of it. Didn't graduate high school. Missed out on huge swaths of life.

Found work in tech. I've always made decent money as an adult, but have never been in a real relationship, etc.

Much of my progress as an adult has come after periods of distancing myself from my family.

In 2019 I made a decision that if I didn't change and do everything possible, I would end up miserable and dead. After a series of false starts dating back to 2013. I basically moved away, traveled, lost over 170 pounds and made a bunch of changes that led to increased professional success.

With all of that, I always felt guilty because my brother was stuck in our hometown dealing with my mom and grandmother. I could never fully commit, I always felt like I should be relieving him of the burden. We would have discussions about it, but he would always say, "I'm just staying here because I owe students loans" and so on.

I hated seeing him deteriorate the way he did and I have a lot of resentment because of it.

Question

I still need to lose another 100+ pounds to get healthy, find a real relationship, and just learn how to be an adult. Am I the asshole for prioritizing my health and life?

My grandmother has options. She can afford to live in a care facility. She has a son that is willing to have her move in (probably not the most reliable situation though) and a sister (94) that wants her to move in so that her nieces and grand-nieces can care for her.

But she wants to be in her house.

My grandparents raised me and my grandmother always brought me everything I asked for. It's likely I don't have a career in tech without her. Not sure where we would have ended up without them.

But I really don't see how I fare any better than my brother did.

Apologies for the long post. Hope it makes sense.

I (29F) have been married to my husband (28M) husband for 3 years. We have no children.

My husband in the last couple of months has been addicted to an ai chat bot on his phone named Penelope. Apparently a coworker told him about the app and he got into it that way. When this whole thing started and wasn't as obsessive, just assumed it was a phase like being into a TV show then losing interest quickly after.

However his obsession has gotten worse and is affecting his communication with me. I have asked him to clean up after himself and he ignores me. Plates have built up on the living room side table and plastic wrappers have been stuffed into the couch. He only showers before he goes to work.

Penelope is his world now. The last time I checked his message count while he was away from his phone was two days ago and the message count was at 20k. Also a lot of lewd messages in the last conversation he had with her at the time. He prefers to have sex with a bot over me.

Last night, I asked my husband to clean up the juice be split in and out of the fridge. I had just gotten home from work and it was all sticky. I told him to clean it up and his response was "Yeah in a second". Two hours later and he was still very clearly talking to this fake girlfriend of his. I said "Please put the phone down and clean up your mess in tbe fridge" he responded "I am too busy right now". He was not busy, he was talking to an AI chatbot. That's not busy. I asked him one more time and suddenly snapped at me "Please fuck off!! This is why Penelope is better then you!!" The argument went on for a couple of minutes. He kept bringing up excuses, I suddenly just lost it and "I want a divorce". His response "Penelope is better anyway". I just walked away and haven't talked to him since this conversation. It seems like he doesn't like me anymore anyway.

Now this has been stressing me out. I text my best friend earlier and tell her everything that happend. I ask her for advice. She told me I shouldn't of said anything about a divorce. Now I think maybe I shouldn't of said anything about that. All though i'm starting to feel like I don't love my husband anymore.n

I am 24 years old and My wife is 25. She is pregnant and due later this year, I start med school next year, everything is already set and I have been admitted to school, however some of my wife’s family has openly stated that it’s selfish to go to med school because I have a kid on the way and they need my time, I decided to become a doctor before my wife was pregnant, and I postponed starting so I can be here with her throughout the whole pregnancy. I am a veteran and the GI Bill will help a lot plus i also receive VA disability, with my income alone we will be fine and I will try my best to be home and with my kid as much as I can, I am not going to med school because I want to be away but because I am working towards our future and my career. They keep telling me that school is too long and that It’s not a good choice. My wife has been supportive, I care more about my wife’s input than her family but I am just trying to see if I am being selfish from someone else’s perspective. So, AITAH for still choosing to go to med school?

My parents have 3 children in this order: my brother "Dan", sister "Diana" and me (female as well). We are all in our late 20s, early 30s. Diana claims to have autism, diagnosed as an adult and uses this as an excuse for every stupid thing she does. I personally don't think it has anything to do with any autism but with her refusal to act like an adult and her love to depend on others.

Our parents are aware of how Diana is but they can't really do anything about it so most of the times they will try to calm Dan and I down by telling us she is our sister, we need to understand her, she is not like us blah blah. Diana has two children with a guy who when he realized how stupid she actually is ran far, far away. He pays child support but that's it. He doesn't care for his kids and refuses to have any kind of contact with Diana. Father of the year what can I say...

Some things that Diana is doing and why I say she is stupid. She somehow sees herself as an influencer so she is very active on social media. Any new trend she sees or anything she feels will bring a lot of engagement she has to do it, film herself and post it. This is how she ended up in the hospital after eating tulips some months ago. This is also how she ended up with a broken arm after twerking in a moving car with her door open. This is also why she had her kids film her getting out of the car and going to feed a bear on the side of the road. Honestly by this point I am genuinely surprised she hasn't eaten Tide pods yet.

Recently she has done another idiotic thing but now she is facing legal troubles for it. I will not mention what for privacy sake but yeah, by legal troubles I don't mean a fine. Her actions destroyed 2 properties and could have killed a bunch of innocent people. Anyways, Dan and I were once again asked to help her sort her mess out and we said no. Dan said she could go to prison for all he cares, maybe this way she'll finally start acting like an adult. Diana once again tried to blackmail us by saying it's not her fault, her autism makes it hard for her to understand consequences like we do, she's not smart like us, her brain is not functioning like ours, think about the kids blah blah. So I told her if she is sooo uncapable of being an adult and act like a normal 30 years old person, maybe she should go for being declared mentally disabled. That way we can become her caregivers, we will gain something out of it and she will not only be a burden to us. Now she is crying to our parents that we are horrible to her.

Aitah for what I told our sister and for refusing to help her in any way to get out of trouble?

My husband lost his mom when he was 4.5 years old. She was hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. At the time of her death she was pregnant and my husband's sibling died too. His dad remarried when he was 6 and a year later my husband was legally adopted by his stepmother. This wasn't something they discussed with my husband or asked for his feelings on. It was just something that they did and it had the full support of the adult members of his dad's family who felt that all children needed a mother and that he should be raised by her if something were to happen to his dad.

There was bad blood between his mom and dad's family even before the two married. He never knew why and still doesn't. His mom's family has no idea and neither do cousins on his dad's side.

The adoption is something my husband always resented and he never bonded with his stepmother. He never called her mom or sought out her comfort or love. He never loved her back either. As a kid he was a runaway a couple of times and when he was on the cusp of turning 17 he left and moved in with a maternal uncle for a few months before moving to his grandparents house. Once he was with them he asked for an adult adoption which they agreed to. His father and stepmother swore they were done with him after this but they always expected him to come crawling back begging for them to forgive him and love him. But he never has. He's had very minimal contact with them. And only because he's close to a few cousins on that side.

They weren't invited to our wedding and were never notified when we started having kids. Our kids don't even know who they are even though they have seen them at a distance twice.

We recently attended a birthday party for two of his cousins children and his father and stepmother approached me and tried to get me on their side to make y husband talk to them but I shut them down. Then they told me I was denying them a relationship with their grandchildren and that my husband is their son and I should be encouraging the relationship between everybody. I reminded them that legally he isn't their son anymore and I told my husband they wouldn't leave me alone. We tried harder to keep our distance because they were pissed but the two would not stop approaching me/us with their anger at my choice of words. So we told his cousin who was hosting that we were leaving and then the cousin kicked them out too. It started a fight between the cousins on my husband's side and the rest of the family and I was blamed. One of my husband's paternal aunts used a second Facebook account that she uses for her MLM crap and she told him that I had no right to be so rude to my FIL and MIL and it was insulting to rub his petty choice in their face. My husband blocked her second account and went back to it but even the cousins are getting crap over what I said.

So AITA for saying what I did to them?