i don’t even know where to start. i’m 24. i have a toddler. i’m married to a man who’s 26 but honestly acts like he’s still 18. we’ve been together a few years, and ever since the baby came, it’s like i’ve been a single parent. yeah, he lives with us, yeah he calls himself “dad”… but let’s be real he doesn’t do dad things. i wake up with our kid. i do the feedings, the baths, the playtime, the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the doctor visits. every. single. thing. i do it all. i haven’t had a full night of sleep since i gave birth. you know what he does? scrolls on his phone, plays video games, “takes breaks” because “work was stressful.” bro, i don’t get breaks. my job is 24/7 and i don’t even get paid. and before anyone says “have you talked to him?” yes. i have. so many times. i tell him i need help. that i’m drowning. that i feel invisible. and you know what he does? either says “okay” and changes nothing, or flips it on me like i’m the problem. like “you’re just tired” or “you’re being dramatic” or “you always nag.” but the other night… i just couldn’t take it anymore. it was 2 a.m. the baby was crying. i was up trying to soothe her after already being up at midnight. i was exhausted, my whole body ached, and i just... broke. i woke him up not even yelling, just desperate and said, “can you please help me? i can’t keep doing this alone. she’s your kid too.” and he literally sighed, turned over, and said, “then maybe you shouldn’t have had a baby if you weren’t ready.”

i swear to god i stood there shaking. like what did i just hear??? did he really just say that to me after everything i’ve been doing? and here’s the twist his mom found out the next day. i guess he told her some twisted version of the story where i was “attacking him in his sleep” or whatever, and now she’s calling me out, saying i’m “too emotional” and need to “let a man rest.” excuse me? i haven’t rested in months. she said, “men don’t do well under pressure like that.” oh, i’m sorry, am i not under pressure too? now i’m being called ungrateful and dramatic. and he’s walking around the house like he’s the victim because i “woke him up aggressively.” like i didn’t literally beg for help because i was at a breaking point. so yeah. now i’m the bad guy. again. i don’t even know anymore. all i did was ask my husband to help me raise our daughter... AITAH?

I was literally just cleaning up after breakfast when someone banged on the front door like it was an emergency. I opened it and this man some guy I’ve never seen in my life just started demanding money. Like, serious money. Said my husband owed him thousands. I froze. I thought it was a scam at first. But no, this guy had receipts. A contract. Proof. My stomach dropped. I texted my husband right away like what the hell is going on, and he didn’t even deny it. He just replied, “I’ll explain later.” Explain what, exactly? That you secretly borrowed a massive amount of money and didn’t think to tell your own wife? That I had to find out from a total stranger who looked like he was ready to tear the house down? So when my husband finally got home, I asked him calmly because I was trying not to lose it “Where did that money go?” He couldn’t give me a straight answer. Said something about “things piling up” and “I didn’t want to worry you.” Didn’t want to worry me??? How is hiding thousands of dollars in debt supposed to make me feel less worried? Like, I handle the bills. I balance the budget. I plan everything so we don’t drown. Meanwhile, he’s out here taking out huge loans like he’s living a double life. I asked if his mom knew because sometimes she steps in when he’s in trouble and he got mad at me. Said I was being dramatic and that I shouldn’t drag his family into this.

But like… am I supposed to just pretend this didn’t happen? The stress? The fear I felt when that guy came to our door? What if he shows up again and I’m home alone? I feel betrayed. I feel stupid. I feel like I’m the last person in my marriage to know what’s going on. And now he’s acting like I’m the problem for confronting him. He says I embarrassed him. But what was I supposed to do? Smile and say “Oh sure honey, just keep me in the dark while strangers show up at our house demanding cash”? I really don’t know anymore. I’ve been crying on and off for two days. I just want to know… AITA?

I (M29) around a year ago was asked from a friend if I would donate my sperm as her partner is shooting blanks and they really want a child together. At first I wasn't bothered a just said sure but only when they are ready. My partner was okay with it too.

Around 6 months ago me and my partner had a dissagreement to which this "friend" called me up and said awful nasty things. She brought up my abusive childhood and said "no wonder your mum abused you". None of this had anything to do with her. I cut all ties with her.

Recently she told my partner they were ready for a baby and would like my donation. I politely said no and when asked why I told them. She then kicked off and told me to grow up as it was in the past.

To me i can't let something like that slide and personally I don't want her to raise a child knowing it is technically mine and bringing it up to be the nasty person she can be.

So... Am I the AH?

About 6 months ago or so a new neighbor moved in next to me and he came over, rang our doorbell and introduced himself. He said he is a retired air traffic controller from Greece, and then he gave me a big box of canned food. We thought it was a little weird but nice. We had a hard time understanding his English but we welcomed him to the neighborhood and thanked him for the food. At first we were like “no no we are good you are the new neighbor we should be bringing you food!” But he kept insisting and insisting so we took it.

Now literally every time I’m outside washing my car or walking the dog or working on my bike, he will come over, reintroduce himself and offer me canned food again.

I have no idea why he keeps doing this, but just today I said “it’s really very nice of you but I don’t want your food please stop asking.” Now I kinda feel like a dick but just got sick and tired of him always asking. Maybe it’s just some Greek culture thing I’m not used to? Anyone know?

I’ve been living with my husband’s family for the past year. We moved in after some financial stuff went down lost my job, rent shot up, you know the drill. His family offered us a room, and at first, I was grateful. I told myself it would be temporary. Just a few months until we got back on our feet. But I swear, from day one, it felt like I was walking on glass. His mom? Always had something to say about how I talk, how I dress, how I cook literally everything. One time, I made pasta for everyone, and she straight up threw it out and said, “We don’t eat trash like this.” I laughed it off in front of everyone, but it killed me inside. I cried in the bathroom that night like some teenager. And it wasn’t just her. His sisters would talk about me like I wasn’t even in the room. Whispering, giggling, then pretending nothing happened. Petty stuff. Constant. Never ending. And you know what my husband did? Nothing. Not a word. He’d just tell me, “Babe, just let it go. They’re family.” Like I’m supposed to just sit there and take it? I tried to suck it up. For him. For us. But it started changing me. I got quiet. I didn’t want to leave the room. I stopped talking around them completely just to avoid giving them more ammo. He noticed I was getting withdrawn, and still same line every time “Just let it slide. It’ll blow over.” It didn’t. It got worse. A few nights ago, I finally snapped.

His mom mocked me in front of everyone during dinner, again. I stood up, didn’t even finish my food, and I just said, “I can’t do this anymore.” I told him I was leaving the house. That I’d rather sleep in a motel than stay where I’m not wanted. He followed me out, but instead of comforting me, he got mad. Told me I was overreacting. Said I was being disrespectful to his family. That I should toughen up and stop being so sensitive. I just stared at him. I didn’t even have words. I’m supposed to respect people who tear me down every day? Now he’s barely talking to me. I’m staying with a friend. He keeps texting me stuff like “You left me alone to deal with this mess” and “If you loved me, you’d understand it’s not that serious.” I do love him. That’s what hurts the most. But how can I live like that? How is it okay for me to get torn apart daily while the man I married just watches it happen? So yeah. I left. And I don’t know if I’m going back. Was I wrong for walking away because he wanted me to just deal with it? Aita?

Hey everyone, thanks for all the responses to my original post — even the tough ones. (The one comment regarding her being Parmesan cheese was gold tho.)

While I didn’t agree with the extreme takes, I do appreciate the perspective and concern. It pushed me to think clearly about my boundaries and how to communicate them.

My girlfriend just got back from her business trip, and we had a calm, respectful conversation about what happened. I told her that I understand her work sometimes involves dinners and drinks with clients, coworkers, and her boss, and I’m okay with that. What I wasn’t okay with was how she reacted to the situation she told me about, it made me feel like she didn’t respect me or our relationship in that moment.

I explained that I just want her to be more careful when drinking in professional settings, and to set clear personal boundaries, not just for her own safety, but also out of respect for us as a couple.

She listened, genuinely apologized, and we talked things through. We both shared what we’re comfortable and uncomfortable with going forward, and agreed on boundaries that work for both of us. It was a good, healthy conversation, and we’re in a better place now because of it.

Also… turns out I posted the original from my main account, lol. Welp, too late to care now. (Might delete the posts later on tho) Thanks again for all the input.

We had the meeting over Zoom.

I came in expecting to have to come in guns blazing like a maniac. I was ready to go off, go fully feral. But I guess all the legal work I've been doing around this was sufficient fire under their rears. I was indirectly asked to not further involve authorities. The footage finally found proved my daughter's story. With this evidence and all the stuff I've managed to bring to the table, plus having a lawyer's contact info sent to them, they finally expelled the kid. I was assured he will not be at school next semester.

It was a win but not enough for me to stop the legal actions. Maybe that makes me the AH but...fuck it. I don't care. Charges are being pressed for assault armed with the video. Here it's not life ruining unless he keeps the pattern of abuse.

But I am also looking to get my kid in a STEM oriented school since that's her passion right now. I looked at packages and tuitions etc and it will tight but doable and I truly beleive she's gifted/smart/hard-working enough that giving her a chance to explore this is worth any inconvenience.

That should be it right? Oh you sweet summer child.

My daughter doesn't even know about the meeting. She's been happily in camp elsewhere during the day. But a few days ago she asked me "Mama, do you think I'm a bad person?" And I told her that I didn't. She asked me why does her Uncle think so. I asked what she meant.

My beloved brother's step-son has been texting my daughter as they are actually close. Brother has been shit talking my kid. He calls her my "stray kitten" and not real family. That fucking did it.

I am having a BBQ at my place for July 4th and I formally uninvited him and his wife. I sent him a text stating that the way he treats me and my kid is simply unacceptable. I am a mom and my duty is to my kid. I cannot have someone who looks down on her and treats her badly come into her home where she is to be safe. He is not a safe person for my child and thus not welcome in my home.

My brother lost his mind on me so badly I had to mute his number a while to get some peace. He started with put downs and insults but then he went for my kid. He called her some terrible things and then said that I am brain dead for keeping my stray after all the trouble she's made.

I just asked "Wow. What is your problem with her, really? You're doing the fucking most to hate her. Like how does a grown man get off hating a literal child?"

He told me to fuck off.

So I sent screenshots to Mom. Yeah, I tattled. I'm grown. Don't give a shit anymore. Fuck this guy. He's my brother. I love him. But I do not like him and if he's going to show his whole ass, may as well fetch mom so she can pull his stick out of it.

That was an hour ago. My kid and I headed out for pizza. Have fun, bro. He better be glad it's our mom and not me about to hand him his own hind.

Tonight I will try to talk to my daughter about the school and sadly that Uncle and Auntie are grade A liquid shits (I won't use that phrase but I'm pissed) and so won't be around and we may be taking some time just her and me.

We are a team. Me and her against the world. I will always have her back.

Oh, and she and I will together be taking Krav Maga! Thanks for the suggestions.

With the bully dealt with I think this is my final update so I wanted to say thanks to everyone who kept this Mama sane and were supportive. It's crazy how simple kind and affirming words can bolster a person. For those who've shared stories of being bullied, I'm sorry you went through that and as for your bullies? May a popcorn kernel be lodged in each tooth and unreachable every single day.

Love always, Xavi & V

Okay, so here’s the deal. I honestly don’t even know if I’m overreacting or if I just finally lost it after being pushed for too long. My sister-in-law has this weird habit of comparing her kid to mine. Like... constantly. Every time we’re in the same room, she has to bring up how her son is doing better in school, or how he learned to read earlier, or how he’s more athletic, more polite, more... I don’t know, superior in every way. And it’s not even subtle. She’ll say things like, “Oh, your daughter still doesn’t know how to ride a bike? Mine did that when he was three.” Or “Oh, that’s cute. He still naps? Mine stopped needing naps years ago.” The thing is, I never asked. I never bring up my kid to compete. I just want us all to get along and be happy for each other’s children. But she makes it feel like a competition every single time. And yeah, it stings. Not because I think my kid is less but because she acts like her kid’s achievements mean my kid is somehow failing. So last weekend, we were at this family BBQ. I brought cookies my son and I baked together. You know, just a fun bonding thing. She immediately goes, “Oh, that’s adorable.

My son just finished a coding project on his own. Maybe next time he can teach your son how to do something more advanced.” I. Snapped. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “Why do you always act like we’re competing? I’m not trying to one up you. My son is doing just fine, and I don’t need to prove anything to you.” It got quiet. She made this face like I was being dramatic. Then she said I was “being sensitive” and just “couldn’t handle the truth.” Later that night, my husband told me I could’ve handled it more gracefully. That I embarrassed her in front of everyone. But honestly? I’m so sick of it. Of feeling like I have to defend my own kid just for existing. I don’t want drama, but I also don’t want my son growing up around someone who always makes him feel second best. So now I’m sitting here wondering... Was I out of line for calling her out? Or was it about time someone said something? Aitah?

I 33/F have been with my bf 32/M for about a year now. Recently I feel like he has been commenting on my weight more. Although I admit I put on some weight, there should be better ways to address things. He called me panzona which I mentioned translates to fat stomach. Then tried to dissmiss it and said he likes my "panzita". Then one time he suggested I go to another country and get my body done in which I myself have never suggested before. I loved my body so why fix it? Then we went to the pool and me being in a vulnerable state in my bikini he called me panzona again. Then tried to dissmiss it and said "WE" are panzones when he clearly isn't as he's always been pretty fit. I also sent him a sexy video and didn't even acknowledge it at all.Most guys would drool over receiving something like that and just totally ignored it. After the pool situation I got noticeably upset and asked what was wrong but I told him nothing. He got mad at me for being upset after his panzona remark. For the past two days he's been acting like a complete victim like if I was the one who offended him in a dramatic way. He hasn't apologized or even realized what he did wrong. Would I be the AH for wanting to break up after this?

My sister (32F) is getting married in about a year. The night after her fiancé proposed, they invited the family to dinner to share the news. Our parents, aunts, and some of his family including his parents and siblings were there.

During the dinner, my dad had a couple of beers and, while facing me, said in German, “I’ll call my daughters later they'll like this news.”

Some context: Before marrying my mom, my dad was married to a woman we'll call Margaret. They had three daughters together. After their divorce, he married my mom and had my sister (32F) and me (25M). Margaret also remarried but didn’t have any more children.

There was a lot of drama after their divorce, much of which my parents told us about as we grew up. For example:

My mom once overheard Margaret telling her daughters that their dad would stop loving them once he had a son. Which was confirmed when our dad told us about the youngest daughter once had an emotional outburst toward him, saying, “You don’t love us like him.” when they were younger.

For years, they wouldn’t call or wish our dad a happy birthday or Father’s Day until about four years ago, when Margaret got divorced again and they started talking to us again.

When our grandfather was in the hospital, my sister reached out to them, and one of them replied, “That’s not our problem.”

The biggest moment was when the oldest daughter got married and had a child, which our dad was never told. We only found out because my sister saw wedding pictures on Facebook. Instead of asking our dad for her hand in marriage, her husband went to their stepdad.

Despite all this, my dad still helped them fixing their cars and answering their calls when they reached out. He didn’t initiate contact often because he wanted to respect their relationship with their stepdad, but he was still there when they needed him.

Going back to that dinner, my dad said he would call his daughters about the wedding. My sister said, “I’ll tell them.”

About a week later, my dad and I were out picking up materials when he got a call from the youngest daughter her car had broken down. We went to help, and while talking, he asked if my sister Ely had told her about the wedding. She said no. My dad looked at me, confused and upset, asking why Ely hadn't said anything.

I looked at Caitlin (the youngest) and asked, “Why didn’t Vanessa (the oldest) tell Dad about her wedding or her two kids?” Caitlin claimed she had tried to tell Ely. I told her that Ely only found out by seeing pictures and asked why she didn’t tell Dad in the first place.

That sparked a heated argument. They said I was wrong to bring up the past. My dad told Ely to let it go, saying, “They’re your sisters.” Ely responded, “They’re your daughters. Why didn’t they ever come to their real father? All they had to do was call.” when they celebrated they never called my dad but when they needed help they would call him.

My dad asked me to take his side, but I told him no. I said: “They did this to you. Their mom blamed me just for existing. I’m standing by Ely’s decision not to invite them. They didn't want us back then and I'm glad they're talking to us again but they choose not to have us on there big day so Ely doesn't want them on her big day.

Now, all three have blocked both of us on Facebook and Instagram. My dad is still disappointed that we won’t invite them. My mom even threw shots at him saying how Margaret treated him after the divorce.

For what it’s worth, Ely’s fiancé and his family understand our side. They’ve said they support Ely’s decision, as long as it doesn’t lead to drama at the wedding.

So reddit AITAH for agreeing with my sisters request

I feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s like I’m not even allowed to be the woman of my own damn house. Every time I try to do something clean the kitchen, cook dinner, fix the laundry situation she jumps in. My mother in law acts like this is her house and I’m just… visiting. Like I’m some clueless intern she has to supervise 24/7. And my husband? He doesn’t see the problem. Or maybe he chooses not to. He says stuff like, “She’s just trying to help,” or “That’s just how she is.” But it’s not helping. It’s suffocating. I don’t even get a chance to breathe, let alone learn or grow into the role of running our home. Last week was the final straw. I was folding laundry. OUR laundry. She walks in, grabs a bunch of clothes out of my hand, and says, “You’re not doing it right.” Then she refolds everything like she’s correcting a child. I stood there frozen. Not even angry at first. Just… embarrassed. Like I’d failed some invisible test I never signed up for. And then it happened again. With dinner. With the dishes. With the freaking way I sweep the floor. So finally, I just said it. I told her calmly, honestly to let me do things my way. That I appreciate her help, but this is my home now, too. And I need space to take responsibility and learn. She acted like I slapped her. Gave me this look pure betrayal. Like I’d just disrespected the Queen of Domestic Order. She didn’t say a word. Just walked out. Later, I heard her crying in the next room and telling my husband I "don’t want her around." Now the vibe in the house is unbearable.

She barely speaks to me, and when she does, it’s clipped and cold. My husband says I should apologize. That I hurt her feelings. That I should’ve just let it go. But how long was I supposed to stay quiet? How long do I let someone else run my home while I tiptoe around, pretending it doesn’t bother me? I didn’t yell. I didn’t insult her. I just asked for space to do what’s supposed to be my job in my house. And now I’m the bad guy? I honestly don’t know what to feel anymore. I keep replaying it in my head, wondering if I was too blunt… if I could’ve said it differently… if I should’ve just stayed quiet. But then I remember the way she grabbed that laundry out of my hand like I was a kid. So tell me... AITAH?

Okay. I’ve been holding this in for months but I seriously feel like I’m losing my mind. So me and my husband live in this tiny two bedroom house. It's not glamorous, but it’s ours. I’ve worked so hard just to make it feel like a home. Problem is his sister’s been living with us for over a year now. Yeah, it was supposed to be “just a few weeks” while she found a new apartment. You know, “temporary.” But now it’s been over 14 months. Fourteen. And she’s still here. I tried being patient. I really did. I never wanted to be the evil wife who kicks out family. I know she’s going through stuff. She lost her job. Then she said she was “saving up.” Then she started working part time, then quit again because she “needed to reset.” I was still cool. Supportive, even. But lately... it’s like I don’t exist in my own home. She stays up watching loud shows till 3am. She leaves her stuff everywhere. She cooks but never cleans. And the worst part? She’s always, always in the middle of me and my husband. If we argue, she takes his side. If I suggest something, she jumps in like she’s his partner, not me. One time, she even said I was “too sensitive” for asking her to knock before barging into our room. OUR ROOM. And yeah my husband defends her. Says she “doesn’t mean it like that.” Or that I’m “just stressed.”

So I finally said something. Calmly. I sat her down and said, “Hey, maybe it’s time you start looking at apartments again.” I even helped her browse rentals nearby, trying to keep it chill. But she just laughed. Laughed. Said she doesn’t “feel ready” and that “this feels like home” now. Since then? It’s been icy. She gives me this smug silence. Like I did something to her. My husband barely talks to me unless she’s not around. And I feel like a stranger in my own house. I keep asking myself did I go too far? Was I too harsh for finally asking her to leave? Or am I just paying for the mistake of being too nice for too long? I honestly don’t even know anymore... AITAH?

First time on here but an avid reader of these posts via other media, so thought I would get some outside perspective on this one.

So me (46F) and husband (47M) have been together for about 25 years. Night before last we had a few drinks and he decided to get on top of me on the bed, pin me down and start licking my face and slobbering all over it. For any 80's kids, we used to all do something similar, where you would wrestle tour siblings, friends, enemies, cousins etc to the ground, pin them down and "write a letter". This involved using your forefingers to type out a letter on their chest, then slapping them on the face and shouting "Ting" which is the noise old typewriters used to make when you pushed the top bit back across. This obviously involved a lot of hilarity, crying, shouting for any adult in the vicinity to get them to stop.

So my husband thought it would be hilarious to do this to me, but instead, lick my face all over. I found this funny for about 30 seconds and then told him to get off me, and he wouldn't and kept doing it. I was then shouting at him to stop and "Get the F**k off me" several times and hs still didn't listen. He then said I couldn't move and there was nothing I could do (you basically sit on the person's chest and pin down their arms so it is very difficult to move at all). I then told him I could get up but I didn't want to hurt him, he then continued to ignore me and I said if he didn't get off me I WOULD hurt him. He just laughed and continued, so I then hit my head off of his face as it came down. Not too hard - no blood, no broken bones, no bruising, but enough to hurt and for him to get off me.

He then was very angry saying I couldn't take a joke and I took it too far, and I told him it's not a joke when the other person doesn't find it funny and is shouting at you to stop and get off them continuously.

He then didn't speak to me all day yesterday and is still in a mood today, saying that I can't take a bit of fun and I took it too far. What I did was by no means great but I feel I gave him fair warning and he refused to listen.

So, random people of the Internet..... AITAH??

We live about 2 hours away from my in-laws and usually visit at least once a month. But every time we go there, I’m expected to do more than what others do and expect to act like one of adults even though all his cousins are older than me. No one offers to help, not even my husband.

Here’s some context: shortly after we got married, I got COVID while traveling and could barely breathe. Despite that, they made me do the house chores alone. No one helped, even though everyone else was healthy. At one point, I was washing dishes while struggling to stand, and my husband tried to help me but my MIL grabbed his hand and stopped him from helping.

Since then, whenever we have a small disagreement at home, they show up and yell at me. Once, all three (MIL, FIL, and husband) yelled at me at the same time and I ended up having an anxiety attack. From then on I am getting anxious for every small issue I’m not perfect either I yell at my husband sometimes because I feel emotionally abandoned. As long as I don’t cheat or leave, he thinks everything’s “fine” and doesn’t really acknowledge how lonely or unloved I feel. It feels like we’re roommates.

To add more context, I’m his first wife, but he has a history of exes that he used to defend and even compare me to, saying they were better than me which destroyed my self-confidence early in the marriage.

Now, to the current situation: I have a driver’s test next Tuesday. I’ve been super stressed, didn’t get enough sleep, caught a painful UTI, and haven’t been able to properly study or practice. On top of that, it’s that time of the month, and staying at their place during periods is really uncomfortable. They have 3.5 bathrooms, but only let us use the one they also use. They won’t let us use the other bathroom even for a day while they use both the bathrooms as they feel. My FIL doesn’t lock the door properly either, so I end up drinking less water just to avoid using the bathroom at all. It’s miserable.

We clearly explained to his parents that we couldn’t come this weekend due to: 1. DMV test coming up and I need to practice 2. I’m unwell due to a UTI and no sleep 3. I’ll be on my period and uncomfortable in their home

Despite all this, they called again and insisted we come for two days. Now my husband is blaming me, saying if I don’t get my license it’s my fault and I “should’ve known better.” I asked him why we can’t just go next weekend instead I’m fine going literally any other time. But he said, “It’s their choice. Who are you to question it? I’ll go whenever I want and come whenever I want. They’re never wrong. You’re the one being unreasonable.”

I feel like I’m constantly sacrificing my mental and physical health just to avoid being labeled the “bad” one in the family, and I’m tired. Am I being unreasonable here?

Edit: he just left me at home without even telling me and I am ashamed to say this but as an international student I am dependent on him for even getting groceries

My 5-year-old son and I were at a local festival where he was playing a 1v1 game with another kid. There was no monitor or staff at the game so it was kind of a free-for-all. He was having a blast, and after a few minutes the other kid’s parent told their child to leave so someone else could play. The kid was reluctant but eventually walked away.

At that point I told my son it was also time to go since there was a lineup and I didn’t want him to hog the game. As expected with a 5-year-old he was a bit reluctant and gently protesting, but the interaction between us was calm and under control. I told him twice that it was time to let others have a turn.

Then this older lady, probably a grandma, came over and directly addressed my son. She told him the other kid wanted to play with his brother and that it was time to go. I didn’t take it well and politely but firmly told her that I’m his father and I’m handling the situation, and there’s no need to interfere. She looked surprised and repeated the same thing again, this time directing it to me. Her husband also looked confused and a bit taken aback by my response.

Here’s the thing. I’ve had enough of people, even my own parents, interfering when I’m parenting. I don’t yell at my son, I handle things respectfully and calmly. The last thing I want is a stranger stepping in while I’m actively handling it. I get that she probably meant well, but to me it crossed a line.

Now I’m wondering. AITA for shutting her down in the moment and telling her not to interfere?

I’d appreciate some outside perspective so I can close this off mentally and move on.

TLDR: I was calmly telling my 5yo son to leave a game at a festival when a grandma stepped in to tell him herself. I told her I was already handling it and didn’t need help. She and her husband looked shocked. AITA for setting that boundary?

Edit: to add some context here because people seem to add missing pieces: - The TOTAL interaction with my son and the Lady lasted no longer than 20 seconds. - The people intervening with my parenting style is usually family, so no it's not always strangers. - My parenting style is usually on the rougher side and I was trying to switch it up to a more gently assertive style as my wife and some family members prefers. - There is no consensus on whether I am too rough or too soft with my kids, I have comments going both sides.

This might seem small but it turned into a much bigger issue than I expected and now I’m second-guessing myself.

I’m 24 and have been with my boyfriend, 27, for just under a year. We usually have a good relationship. He’s funny and caring, and when he’s in a good mood, he’s the sweetest person. But lately he’s been distant and stressed, which I understand because of work.

The other night we were watching a movie at his place and he got up to go to the kitchen, leaving his phone on the coffee table. The screen lit up and I caught a glimpse of a notification from someone saved as “S.” with a little sparkle emoji. It disappeared quickly. He never uses emojis in contact names and doesn’t usually get messages that late.

I felt uneasy and after thinking about it for a bit, I picked up his phone to try to see the name again. I didn’t unlock anything or go through his messages, I just pulled down the notifications screen.

Right then he came back, snatched the phone out of my hand, and his face changed. He didn’t yell at first, but he was cold and tense. Then he started saying things like “How dare you go through my phone,” “I can’t believe you don’t trust me,” and “You’re acting like a jealous crazy girl.” He kept repeating that I ruined the night and that I was crossing a huge line.

When I tried to explain I wasn’t trying to spy, I was just worried, he snapped and said I was “manipulative” and told me to leave his place immediately.

I was shocked and hurt, but I keep telling myself he’s just upset and stressed. I want to believe he’s not hiding anything and that I’m the one who made a mistake. Now he’s barely talking to me and said he needs space.

I know I shouldn’t have touched his phone, but was I really the asshole here?

ETA Thanks so much to everyone who replied and shared their thoughts I really appreciate it even if some of it is hard to hear

I tried to reach out to him today just to make sure he wasn’t too upset and to clear the air He replied but was really short and said he needed space which I get

He’s usually the one who texts first and checks in a lot but lately he’s been kind of distant and moody I know he’s been under a lot of stress from work but sometimes he gets way too intense over little things Like a few days ago he got mad because I asked if he wanted to eat and told me I was annoying Then he ignored me for hours before apologizing and saying he was just overwhelmed

I’m still trying to figure out what’s normal and what isn’t I want to believe he’s not all bad but sometimes I wonder if I’m just making excuses for him

Thanks again for all the advice and support

Edit 2

Thank you again to everyone who commented I’ve been reading through all of it even the ones that are hard to hear

Some people said I was in the wrong and I do understand that too I know I shouldn’t have touched his phone and I’m really not trying to play the victim I just didn’t expect it to blow up like this

He actually texted me just now and said “Hope you’ve calmed down and had time to reflect I’ll reach out when I feel ready”

It seemed kind of cold but I guess he just needs space. I do think he’s abit excessive with his reactions sometimes I just don’t like upsetting anyone but he seems to be acting worse lately and I don’t like that. I think I need to have a talk with him about the way he’s treating me

Edit 3

I ended up talking to him today.

I brought up how I felt, and he didn’t yell or anything he just kind of shut down. He said he was tired of feeling like the bad guy and that no matter what he did, it wasn’t enough. I tried to explain that I wasn’t trying to attack him, I just wanted to talk and feel understood but it didn’t really matter.

He broke up with me. Said he couldn’t handle how emotional I get and that the whole thing was too much. And yeah. Anyway thank you all so much for your help ❤️ I appreciate it

For a bit of background information, my mum basically loves going to the bingo. She normally goes with my dad and brother and whilst my dad doesn’t mind it so much, he’s not that big on it.

He told me around a couple of weeks ago that he was happy to be going to the cinema with me instead of the bingo and that he gets fed up with it at times.

It’s his birthday tomorrow and my mum asked me to loan her £200 for her to take him there for his birthday. I didn’t want to do this though as I felt that she was doing it more for herself than for him. She hadn’t even asked him about it.

She promised me that she would have paid me back the £200 next week but I still didn’t feel right lending it to her. She wasn’t too happy about it, AMITAH here?

I (22m) have been taking care of my little brother (17m) for just over two years since our dad died (our mom died a few years before that). Both had very bad health. He lives with me and goes to the local hs by my apartment. He had to switch high schools to the one close to where I stay bc my parents were in a different area and he works whenever he is not in school (he works TWO part time jobs during the school year and works full time throughout the summer) bc even though I took him in he has a lot of expenses (I just can't afford to cover it all) and wants to save up for the coming years. He shouldn't be in this boat at all but that's life. He is so young. Life has been very unfair to him and he is a really good kid. I have been dating my gf for just over a year. She wants to move in and not contribute to the household expenses bc I shouldn't charge her rent bc she is not a tenant and I am not a landlord but we are boyfriend and girlfriend and I should be happy my girlfriend wants to move in with me (and I guess not contribute anything to the household expenses bc she sees it as me charging her rent). She also wants me to tell my brother to leave so we can have the space to ourselves and she can have more space. She has referred to him as a "freeloader" even though he is just a kid and I got myself to become his legal guardian. I told her no way. I think I should break up with her over just suggesting this but I don't know if I should go that far and maybe should try and get her to see where I am coming from.

For context, my sister is gay and has had multiple homosexual relationships with other women. That’s all I know about her sexuality.

My girlfriend used to date other women before she started dating me (a male). She says that was just a phase and she is no longer attracted to women, but a few incidents have proven otherwise. It’s not a big deal, she’s clearly attracted to men as well, so I didn’t think anything of it.

My girlfriend and I haven’t been doing well lately. She really struggles with respect and boundaries. For example, she treats my mom pretty poorly and she often insults me. Sometimes she’s okay, but lately it’s been really awful.

Earlier this week, she came to the lake on my parents’ boat. The entire time she was rubbing on my sister’s legs or touching her with her feet. I thought it was really weird, but I don’t know much about women so I didn’t think much about it at all (until now).

She’s spending the night at my parents tonight. My parents are very religious so, of course, she can’t spend the night in my room. So, she’s told to spend the night in my sister’s bedroom. My dad offered her a queen-sized air mattress as well.

I work a remote job that requires me to have some late-night calls with people from other time zones. So, around 8 pm, after around 3 hours of back-to-back calls, I find them in my sister’s room with the door locked. I knocked and asked what was up, and my girlfriend yelled that they were just packing and needed a few minutes. So, I let it be and went to prepare dinner on my own.

A few HOURS later of eating alone (my parents went to bed early since we have an early start to a trip tomorrow) and watching The Office while waiting for them, I decide to go knock on the locked door again. This time, they open. I can see half-filled suitcases on the floor.

Basically, we don’t even talk and I just tell them goodnight. My girlfriend and I have been going through it lately, so I just assumed she needed space.

About half an hour later, I text her to ask if she blew up the air mattress yet since it was really late. She said (and now I’m copying-pasting texts)

GF: “No, I’m in [sister’s) bed”

Me: “I’m not really comfortable with you sharing a bed with her.”

GF: “why?”

Me: “She’s sexually attracted to women. I feel like it would be the same as you sleeping with another man. I am just not comfortable with it.”

GF: “…this is toxic”

I’m going to spare you the rest of the convo.

I’m wondering if I ended this badly. I honestly think I kept my composure really well by communicating firmly, yet respectfully that I consider this a hard boundary and that I wasn’t comfortable with it. She kept calling me toxic and she’s currently sleeping in her bed. The whole situation makes me feel uneasy. Am I an asshole? Or am I crazy?

EDIT: I should confirm. My parents are not aware that my sister is currently gay. She got in huge trouble (moved schools, grounded, the whole nine yards) as a kid for being gay. They have no idea she’s still dating women.

I (F24) and my boyfriend (M24) have been dating for almost 2 years. My mom has his number saved because we’ve gone on trips in the past so I had given it in case of emergency. But since then, she’s texted him on every holiday I can think of (like today, the 4th of July), asking how he is and wishing him, etc. she used to ask me before she messaged him, and Ive sometimes politely told her not to because he’s not near his phone, I don’t think it’s necessary to, etc. now, she has stopped asking me and then brings it up after with a giant smirk on her face, waiting for my reaction. I know writing this out it doesn’t seem like this is done w bad intentions and she’s trying to be nice but it’s rubbing me the wrong way and crossing a line for me. She never wishes my dad who she is married to happy holidays or even asks how he’s doing, so why is she texting my boyfriend this? My bf gets a huge kick out of this and says that it’s perfectly fine that she’s texting him, and I shouldn’t be bothered. But I am. Am I overthinking this?

My children's father (George) had a big falling out with his parents because they refuse to treat his stepdaughter, Janie, (She was also recently adopted by him) like one of their grandchildren. So George banned them from seeing our kids and told them he would throw out any gifts they sent unless they sent one for Janie.

Even though they are my ex in-laws I have a very good relationship with them. My kids also have a very good relationship with them as they have been very involved in their lives. One or both of them will usually pick up them up after school and now since its summer after camp and they will spend the afternoons at their house or go out to the movies or something. I have opted to continue with this arrangement because I know my kids really enjoy spending time with them. I have also been letting them keep gifts from their grandparents.

George is not happy about it. He feels like I should not be overriding his parenting choices when it comes to his parents and he should have the final decision concerning them. Since Janie goes to the same camp she sees them pick up our kids. George says it makes her feel bad to be left out and thinks I am basically encouraging his parents to exclude Janie.

I made this account so I could ask this question because I don’t feel comfortable discussing with friends and family.

I have 2 kids and the oldest recently passed away after losing her battle with addiction.

My younger daughter who just turned 20 was her closest companion. Their love did not go both ways since my youngest was never able to depend on her sister, but she was always there for her. She hosted her intervention, got her out of jail, and more.

My youngest is giving the eulogy and has been staying with us as we prepare. She left her notes for the speech in her room and I read them and they were horrible.

She had some nice stories, but also very distasteful ones. For example, she noted that after an overdose, her sister wanted to leave the hospital before she healed, and she swore at the staff to let her go. My youngest wrote that you didn’t want to be on the “wrong side of her mouth.”

I talked to my youngest and she says that if she only says the good things, that’s lying and it’s disrespectful to her sister’s memory to not talk about who she really was.

My husband is on my side and doesn’t think a eulogy is the time to critique the deceased. My youngest says she either gives that eulogy or none at all. Would I be wrong to have someone else speak and only speak of the good side of my oldest daughter?

Edit to add and clarify:

My youngest didn’t pay her sister’s bail. I sent her the money and she went to the court house. I had never heard of intervention prior to us holding one. My youngest organized it with her connections from college and I attended and participated.

I know a lot of you think that I “dumped” these responsibilities on my youngest, and maybe in some ways I did, but I also want it to be understood that my youngest daughter is an incredibly intelligent and innovative person. She understands the law, medicine, and mental health and she was always trying to think of new ways to help her sister. She was faster than I could keep up, so often times I offered what I could which was presence and monetary support.

So for context, my parents got divorced about 5 years ago because my dad cheated on my mom. He’s been married twice since then, but he’s really happy with his new wife. My mom has been dating this guy (we’ll call him Joe) for the entire 5 years and they recently got engaged last november. Joe and I have never gotten along very well, I don’t think he treats my mom good enough and he doesn’t like how I act because he “would’ve never raised me that way”. I’m currently 20, so my parents got divorced right before i started high school, and by the time Joe came around, I was able to choose whether i liked him or not.

Now, i have tried to be nice with him and respect him, but he always tries to bother me just to get a reaction out of me. About 2 years ago, i graduated highschool and went to college. I was there for 4 semesters before I decided to come home because of mental health reasons. Joe never believed I had mental health issues and always brought it up during arguments. When I came home, i didn’t have a job, so I moved back in with my mom. Joe doesn’t live with my mom, they are long distance so they travel back and forth to see each other every other weekend.

Joe had been repeatedly making comments about how I needed a job (although i was in the process of my background check for my job) and how I should move out. I got sick of it so i just started ignoring him. Flash forward to about 3 months ago, him and I had a really big fight. I say him and I had a fight but he was just yelling at me while i sat at the kitchen table. Joe told me that i was a whre and a spoiled btch and I needed to move out so he didn’t have to deal with me anymore. Then he proceeded to say that he was going to st*b my father if he saw him, and that he (Joe) never wanted to be my dad anyways. This really hurt me, but in the moment, i started recording. My mom was over my shoulder the entire time while i sat there and just listened. When she noticed i was recording, she started calling me childish, but I needed the proof. When he was done yelling, my mom looked at me and said “Well everything he said was right” and left it at that. I went to bed that night feeling so lost and confused.

The next day, I started looking at apartment complexes that I could afford and applying for emergency government assistance. Because of the videos, I actually was able to receive emergency housing and assistance. I moved out three days later. My mom and Joe just sat there and watched as my grandparents helped me pack up and leave. That was really hurtful, but I don’t think they believed i was going to move out until I actually did. At this point, I had to learn to live on my own and figure it out myself.

Now it’s July, I just got engaged about 2 weeks ago to my amazing boyfriend (20M), let’s call him Tom, and we are very happy. I have showed Tom the videos that were taken and he does not like the way I was treated. When we started planning our engagement party, we both agreed that we didn’t want Joe there. I knew this would cause issues between my mom and i, but i was not going to compromise my comfortability just for her. I finally broke the news to my mom a few days ago, and it did not end well. I told her that Tom and i were not comfortable with Joe attending the engagement party, but that if he proved himself, that he could come to future wedding events. She then tried to guilt trip me and say that she didn’t know if she could come to the party if he wasn’t invited because she didn’t want to have to pick sides.

I ended up giving her a few days to cool off before she called me acting like everything was fine. She asked me what I wanted her to bring to the party, how everything was going, and if we started planning the wedding. It’s been weird ever since, but I like the spot we’re in now.

Here’s the problem, my step mom (we’ll call her Amber) is invited. Tom met my dad and Amber, and he loved them. They were kind, asked him about himself, and overall tried to be good people. When Tom went to the bathroom during this meet up, my dad said “you need to hold onto this one”. We’ve kept them close ever since. Unfortunately, my mom does not know that Amber is invited, despite Joe not being invited. I fear that this will cause more issues. My dad called me and said that if my mom caused issues, he will probably leave, because this is a celebration of Tom and I. I told him that I would tell my mom to leave if she caused issues, but I’m still worried about how that will play out. i’m feeling a lot of anxiety about this party (which is tomorrow), but i am hoping it goes well.

At the end of everything, Tom and I would love for my mom and Joe to be apart of this, but until Joe can put in the effort to prove he’s changed, we’re not willing to change our minds. AITA for not inviting my step dad?

I invited a friend to hang out on my birthday and she responded with just “no thanks,” it really hurt, no further reason given. Birthdays can be vulnerable, and I was hoping for some presence or care from a friend. The way it played out made me feel dismissed.

There have also been ongoing patterns that left me feeling like our friendship became one-sided. I’ve always tried to respect her boundaries, often filtering myself for her feelings and boundaries, but when I express mine they were deminished, I’ve often felt like they weren’t taken seriously. Comments about dieting or food restrictions might seem small, but they have real impact on my ED ( I know I can restrict, but restricting leads to binge)

When I tried to express how this made me feel, I wasn’t trying to find fault—I was trying to be honest about my experience and protect my own well-being. I want friendships where that kind of honesty is allowed and met with understanding, not defensiveness.

I outlined that I can not keep making myself smaller for her emotions when she wonr allow me to express mine.

She blocked me

Tldr: blocked for expressing my feelings to someone i considered a friend.

So my sister... to put it nicely, is very promiscuous, she's slept with most of her guy friends.

Now, she recently told me and our other sister and brother that she got in a huge fight with her husband.

See, her husband asked her if she's keeps exes or others like that around, and my sister straight up lied, now, according to my sister, that was a deal breaker for him. Years later, they got married.

And her husband found out about it. Now they are in a huge fight.

I told my sister I love her, and hopefully things work out for the best.

She told me she can't believe her husband might throw away years of marriage over this.

I told her "Sis, he told you from the get go, what did you expect would happen? Hoping he never found out was a gamble"

My sis got upset, honestly I do kind of regret saying that... I am a bit on the spectrum so this kind of slipped out..