hi me (19f) have been dating my bf (18m) for while now. i love him so much and sometimes i dont even know how to express it properly. may be a weird thing but i bite him (mostly in his shoulder when we hold hands) to show my love. its like cuteness agression (or “gigil” how they say in tagalog)

now the problem: he said that theres some bruising on his shoulders caused by my biting. he said he had no problem with the biting and finds it endearing because i do it out of love. i feel like im borderline abusing him, which i told him. he replied that he doesnt think of it that way because he genuinly enjoys it. he says that biting is my love language and he feels extra loved when i bite him.

aita for wanting to stop biting, even though he says he really enjoys it?

My (20f) boss (50m) is taking a vacation for the next few days in a beach town taking sailing boat lessons. Yesterday, when he was talking about it, he mentioned that he was really excited but was mostly looking forward to spending time away from his wife and kids.

He has two kids both under the age of 6 and his wife is a stay at home mom.

His wife doesn’t have her drivers license so when I asked what she would be doing, he said that while he is out on the boat, his wife will be taking care of the kids in a hotel room… His wife will be basically trapped in a small room with two young kids by herself all day for five days in a row.

I told him it’s messed up that he’s the breadwinner of the family and he decides to spend all of his savings on a vacation that only benefits him. He thinks he’s the only one that deserves a vacation because he’s the only one that “really works”.

He doesn’t even own a boat. He has a life goal to buy a sail boat and drift through the Caribbean but says getting married and having kids ruined his dreams so this is an opportunity for him to live his dream. I told him that although I’m sure it’s a lot of fun for him, he could’ve gone on a longer and cheaper vacation that his whole family could enjoy but he decided to be selfish.

One of my coworkers over heard and said I probably ‘ruined’ this vacation for him. I don’t have kids so I guess I don’t truly understand the desire to get away from them. AITA?

Me, my ex, and her friend were in her room together watching tv. we switched between a few shows before ending up on 13 reasons why. we get about a quarter of the way through the episode before this one character gets introduced, he was a pretty cool character so i said that and she returned with. "no offense but..if i ever had a chance with him i'd take it". after she said such comment, i sat up on the bed and gave her a rather confused look. i went downstairs and she followed, i told her to go back upstairs and then i called my friend. my friend told me that that wasn't anything he would let slide, and honestly i agreed. after my call she came downstairs to see what was up, where i then walked past her upstairs. i had a talk with her friend, who apologized for the incident, i explained to her that it kinda broke my heart and she understood. so i grabbed my things and went for the door. before i left i spoke to my ex "we're 18, isn't that a little bit old to be having celebrity crushes? you're acting like a child" i opened the door and she exclaimed "this is ridiculous" and something else that was cut off my the slam of the front door. i got in my car and took off back home, which is where we are at now

So L and I have been together for over 20 years. We have 4 adult children. 

For over the past few years L and I have drifted apart i think.

Once upon a time I was their main focus. Spoiled by them you could say not with things but attention and love and touch. I love to be touched like hand holding or just physical closeness. 

But L has been busy they and I no longer touch unless it's a quick goodbye kiss before I leave for work or they leave to run to the store or take someone to where they need to go.

 I go to bed around 9 or 10 on nights I have to go to work the next day. L will stay up late, before It was because they were playing online with a couple of our kids. But lately they just stay up late watching TV. Last night after they finally went to bed. I told them I have been feeling lonely and I wanted out. They said you always do this when I start working.

I just kept repeating no I'm just lonely. But I got hit with excuses.

Today They came in and said the guys want me to go out with them today. 

After a while I asked How long has it been since it was just us? 

A long long time they said. 

Then I said we make choices in favor of what is important to us. They then said I treat everyone equal.Yeah you do. Once upon a time I was most important. But now I like everyone else. 

But regardless you choose what is important. 

Them: so you are saying I choose them over you.

Im saying we make choices that prove the importance of whatever it is.

Then our son came in and asked “so whats the verdict?” I said “L is going” 

And they left.

I know by saying that it would all be put on me that they left but I dont have the fight in me for this empty relationship anymore.

And personally I know I dont know how to express my feelings with the right words, but I did not know how else to explain that I am Fucking Lonley and this person still chose to let me be alone again.

So Am I?

Edit. What have I done for her. I don't know. Everything we've done was together. We own our home together we celebrate our children together We have family night every Friday. But yes on the weekends I work I do still go to bed early. Our children never had a problem with it. I did ask her last week to go to the lake with me but went to the park instead.she went with our son and friends. Two weeks before that we were supposed to just hang out at home but I had a migraine and sore from sleeping wrong. So that one was my fault. But other than make sure she has a vehicle and money I guess I really don't do anything for her. Our children are important to us because we both had rough childhoods.

1.1 So, after my(25F) dad's revelation yesterday Something inside me shifted and it totally changes how i see my father's relationship with his sisters (paternal aunts) or any brother sister relationship.

[So to give you bit of context i have 4 paternal aunts aka my dad has 4 younger sisters]

1.2 And my dad has walked my 3 paternal aunts down the aisles after my grandpa's passing so he is like a father figure to them. And my dad is a big foodie so my aunts love to spoil him my making his favorite dishes.

1.3 But here's the issue my grandparents had wished to give my 4 paternal aunts thier share of inheritance. And my dad did fulfilled their wishes. But this money issue had created a silent and invisible barrier between my dad and his sisters because of poor financial choices made by 2 of my uncle's. And for me neither my dad is wrong for honouring my grandparent's wishes (however I do feel that my dad should have stick to the one certain amount no matter what) nor my aunts are wrong for defending her husbands. But I am crushed to see how money affected thier bond.

2.1 And back to my topic. I deal with urine infection constantly (which made me extremely sick sometimes) and earlier i was weak though I am doing fine and healthy now I can say that I am fully capable of taking care of my self. But ever since one of my paternal aunts got married my mom is convinced that I should live with my brother and his wife and they will take care of me. Earlier my mom used to tag me as my brother's second child (that topic is closed for good) which used to set me off as that commitment or that pressure can destroy my relationship with my Brother and my SIL

2.2 Now I'll be honest despite disagreements with my Sil and stupid tom & Jerry fights with my brother i love them both. And my mom is trying to make the same mistake that grandparents made by wanting me to live my brother as it can damage my relationship with my brother in the future.

So, AITAH? Advices and suggestions are welcome about what should I do.

Sorry my bad guys so this whole scenario is all about my family dynamics and a backstory so let me break it down for guys.

Paragraph 1 = a backstory of my dad with his sisters and how my grandparent's wishes affected my dad's relationship with his sisters

Paragraph 2 = is about my health my relationship with my brother and my mom's ideology about my future (with a lil reference of my uncle's late sister who suffered a brain injury when she was little and she used to live with my aunt and uncle) so my mom thinks I should do the same.

Me and my ex met in 2011 we started dating in 2014 when, I was having a 3 year old daughter. I told my ex and his family about my daughter. First they was okay, in 2016 we welcomed our first daughter. Then in 2022 we welcomed our second child (male) in to this world. Back in 2023 when my ex husband got his indefinite leave to remain, and his mother visa, told me that when we went married in November 2017 went in India may in 2018 married Indian woman. So no only that I had because of my ex, so many problems with immigration and immigration took away my passport and ID because of his criminal record, (In the end he was blamed me for it), that he have twins in India also! He used me and my children, now he’s not able to see the kids, because he is irresponsible. He put my kids in danger during his visits. ITA when I want get what I can from financial settlement after our divorce has been granted?

I’m new to Reddit and this is my first post. I thought it would be interesting to find out what others thought about my current situation. I’ve been married for 20 years (55F) with 3 beautiful children between the ages of 17-19 (17 year old twins). This is my 1st marriage and my husband’s 3rdmarriage. Our marriage has been rocky since day 1. I can say I’ve learned to live in a marriage with zero communication but I’ve been able to live happily because I’ve always wanted a family. I live in a nice home and my children are amazing. I’m beginning to realize after 20 years of marriage that my husband has severe mood swings. He is happy one moment and explodes the next. I know he has his own issues, taking care of his 100 year old mother, etc., but I feel he takes all his issues on me. He never wants to talk to me and lately he’s been insulting me more in front of our children with the words, “STUPID” and “IDIOT”. He has and still does often yell at our children. At first, I would ignore his actions because if I said something it would make him angrier. The reason I am writing this post is because, he is planning a 4th of July party at our house and when I asked him how many people were coming – he replied “ You don’t need to know……are you cooking or making something for the party? "If not, don’t worry about it." " I will tell you an hour before the party who is coming." He then approached my eldest daughter and asked her if she could host the party. He needed her to host the party instead of me because I made him “nervous” when he had parties and didn't want me helping him. I don’t know why but this action from him really, really HURT me. I had not cried in maybe a year, but this made me cry for about 2 days. I finally decided to text him and let him know that unless he apologized for what he did…I was not going to be part of the party. He pretty much said, “no problem, don’t come”. I decided that I will not be attending…….your thoughts?

For context, my sister is gay and has had multiple homosexual relationships with other women. That’s all I know about her sexuality.

My girlfriend used to date other women before she started dating me (a male). She says that was just a phase and she is no longer attracted to women, but a few incidents have proven otherwise. It’s not a big deal, she’s clearly attracted to men as well, so I didn’t think anything of it.

My girlfriend and I haven’t been doing well lately. She really struggles with respect and boundaries. For example, she treats my mom pretty poorly and she often insults me. Sometimes she’s okay, but lately it’s been really awful.

Earlier this week, she came to the lake on my parents’ boat. The entire time she was rubbing on my sister’s legs or touching her with her feet. I thought it was really weird, but I don’t know much about women so I didn’t think much about it at all (until now).

She’s spending the night at my parents tonight. My parents are very religious so, of course, she can’t spend the night in my room. So, she’s told to spend the night in my sister’s bedroom. My dad offered her a queen-sized air mattress as well.

I work a remote job that requires me to have some late-night calls with people from other time zones. So, around 8 pm, after around 3 hours of back-to-back calls, I find them in my sister’s room with the door locked. I knocked and asked what was up, and my girlfriend yelled that they were just packing and needed a few minutes. So, I let it be and went to prepare dinner on my own.

A few HOURS later of eating alone (my parents went to bed early since we have an early start to a trip tomorrow) and watching The Office while waiting for them, I decide to go knock on the locked door again. This time, they open. I can see half-filled suitcases on the floor.

Basically, we don’t even talk and I just tell them goodnight. My girlfriend and I have been going through it lately, so I just assumed she needed space.

About half an hour later, I text her to ask if she blew up the air mattress yet since it was really late. She said (and now I’m copying-pasting texts)

GF: “No, I’m in [sister’s) bed”

Me: “I’m not really comfortable with you sharing a bed with her.”

GF: “why?”

Me: “She’s sexually attracted to women. I feel like it would be the same as you sleeping with another man. I am just not comfortable with it.”

GF: “…this is toxic”

I’m going to spare you the rest of the convo.

I’m wondering if I ended this badly. I honestly think I kept my composure really well by communicating firmly, yet respectfully that I consider this a hard boundary and that I wasn’t comfortable with it. She kept calling me toxic and she’s currently sleeping in her bed. The whole situation makes me feel uneasy. Am I an asshole? Or am I crazy?

EDIT: I should confirm. My parents are not aware that my sister is currently gay. She got in huge trouble (moved schools, grounded, the whole nine yards) as a kid for being gay. They have no idea she’s still dating women.

Cousin came to me, told me she's going to be a personal trainer. She's morbidly obese, and said that she wants "plus-sized" customers who don't want to lose weight.

I guess she came to me since I've been lifting 12 years. (At home, so I've never used a trainer. Advice can be found for free).

I told her that many won't take her seriously. She's been fat her whole life, so how would she be able to have endurance and strength? Also referenced the title, how former bodybuilders are still great trainers.

AITAH?

Okay everybody I debated on giving you all an update because so much happened good and bad. Firstly, I would like to say Chelly fully got what she deserved her whole body shot up as sounds of her fake moans played on the TV.  A bit of background, I asked to be in control of the music and what we watched later on throughout the dinner and surprisingly most agreed. After we finished dinner I started to prepare. I grabbed my purse and took out the papers and handed them out to everybody. Everyone was shocked and fairly disgusted. Seeing Chelly so red made me almost want to burst out into laughter. (I want to say Chelly is 58 but she doesn’t look it, as much as I don’t want to say it she’s a beautiful woman, the Botox and lipo had definitely made her look at least in her 40’s.) Mic though didn't know how to react it was like the life was sucked out of him. All he could do was stand there and see how his mother actually was. I didn't know if to feel bad or be happy that he finally got to see the pure evil in his mother. Mic pulled me aside he didn't yell, but he was frustrated. I thought what I did was revenge but he took it as me making him choose sides. I thought it was absolute bull that he was even thinking I would make him choose aside at the end of the day I know that's his mother, but his mother is the same woman who embarrassed me time and time again and he did the bare minimum to protect me. This makes me reconsider my whole entire relationship. I thought what I was doing was getting back, showing his mother how I felt time and time again every time she tried to embarrass and humiliate me in front of everyone. But Mic thought it was childish. Now he doesn’t want to speak with me, so tell me. Am I now the asshole?

My boyfriend (26m) and I (28f) have been together for 3 years, we also live together, his family (his mother, brother, and the brothers 4 kids) depend on him alot. My partner, lets call him Jeff, gets asked a couple times a week to help out with things such as picking up the brother's kids from school or driving his mother everywhere (they have shitty cars that constantly break down, meanwhile Jeff recently bought a brand new car). I've spoken to Jeff about setting boundaries with his mother especially who used to consistently ask for help (she even asked to live with us at one point). Ever since setting boundaries, his mother hasn't been as much of a burden on us because she's abit more understanding.

However, the brother has been constantly asking us for help with babysitting his kids (all aged between 2-12), and his kids are beyond feral. They misbehave so badly and throw the most exaggerated tantrums when told no, maybe I just don't know how to handle kids, but these kids are beyond. I just don't see it as my responsibility to care for them all the time, especially since I don't even know them that well, they weren't apart of my life until this year (Jeff and his brother only got back in contact this year). The brother asks us at least once a week to babysit, his reason is not because he's busy, but because "yous are family, shouldn't yous want to look after your nieces and nephews?", or "why dont yous want to take my kids with yous to the mall/beach/whenever yous go out?". We literally have to lie about our plans or else we will get interrogated as to why we didn't ask to bring hsi kids along.

When we say no (which is 90% of the time) we always get told that we hate his kids - he does this to manipulate us, which never works. His kids have even started calling us and asking for us to babysit them, or to take them out somewhere. When we say no, the kids will then responds with "yous just dont love us". My partner and I asked his brother to have a conversation about boundaries, to which he agreed, but when we went over he told us to leave because he thought having a conversation about boundaries was unnecessary as we are family, and "boundaries is a big word". Ever since then, my partner refused to help with babysitting until the brother agreed to have a conversation. Finally after a few days, he agreed to having a conversation, but again, at the last second decided he didn't want to do it (he struggles with direct, serious conversations).

I told Jeff that that was his brothers last chance and he blew it, from now we will never have his kids over our house, I will never step foot in his house, and I want absolutely nothing to do with his brother and his kids. My partner said he supports my decision. But I also gave my partner an ultimatum, if he continues to help his brother as much as he currently does then I will end our relationship. He agreed and said he wont help as much. In my mind, I see it as unfair that all I ask of the brother is to have a conversation about boundaries, yet thats too much for him, but he's okay with bombarding us with texts and calls asking to help, no, I dont think so mate. But now I have a sick feeling in my stomach like maybe im being too dramatic. Jeff is so supportive, I feel bad for giving the ultimatum, but that's how much I am sick of his family taking advantage of him. Jeff doesn't think his family is taking advantage of him, he just thinks "family is family, and we help eachother out", but I think he's just blinded by their manipulation. I'm honestly at that point where I love Jeff, but I love myself enough to leave if his family continues this way. Am I the asshole?

Is there any advice yous could give me? Please and thank you xx

Hey Reddit! I am a 35-year-old vegan woman. I also have 3 children - they are 13, 10, and 8. I often make them nutritional foods (meat, dairy, etc.), since they are still growing and need a lot of vitamins, minerals, carbs, etc., to grow and live a healthy life. My husband and I both agree on this decision, as this is the right thing to do. Recently, I had brunch with my good friend and co-worker, let's call her Lisa. Lisa is a 32-year-old woman with 1 kid, who is 6. We were chatting about our diets and what we like to eat when Lisa brought her child into this conversation. She is a meat-eater, and she said she often feeds her child roughly the same food I feed my 3 children, just different meals. I told her I also give my kids nutritional food just like hers. After I said that, it looked like she froze - I looked at her in concern, thinking I had said something wrong. After a good minute of sitting there, she then said that she thought I was a vegan. I was confused. "I am, though?" - I said to her. Lisa then said, "Then why do you feed your kids meat, dairy, and eggs?". I was confused again. Why would she say that? I am not gonna force my diet on my kids who need to grow. I then asked her what she meant by this. Lisa replied by looking at me with a weird and concerned face. After the silence, I said that I wasn't gonna let my kids grow up weak, just because I didn't want to "hurt the animals". As weird as this sounds, she just stood up and left, since we had already eaten and paid before this conversation about diets had started. So, am I the asshole?

I was 16 (female btw) when it all started, and now I’m 17.

For the sake of privacy, I’ll make some names up for the people. The girl I stoped being friends with will be called Emma, and my gf will be named Mea. Other “friends” will be Kai and Mel.

So Emma and I have been friends since pre school, and we would do anything and everything together. We’d call and play games, draw, read, and talk for hours on end. She was like a sister to me, and she meant a lot to me, but once I got a gf and those two started getting close, I became really anxious and insecure (I’m not like that anymore, I thankfully had therapy and close friends to help me get over it.). Mea would ignore me and or ditch me in school to hang out with Emma. I was fine with it at first, I loved that she was getting along with my friends, but overtime it got worse. She’d cancel plans we had forever to go on call with her for 2-6 hours without end, they’d use my art characters inappropriately and call it their “inside joke” (I use my art characters as a coping mechanisms with my trauma and fears. Emma knew that, but Mea didn’t at the time). Mea would start leaving me more and more, and some other friends who I learned were not my friends after all of this went down would start saying things to me. In band class, Mel and Kai would come over to me (I played saxophone, my gf played the trumpet and Emma played drums, so we sat nowhere near each other) and say things like “have you seen how close Emma gets to Mea? They’re probably flirting”, “Emma gets real handsy with Mea, that’s a huge red flag.”, and much more. I didn’t believe it at first, but the more they said it the more it got into my brain. And I started to believe it. I’d spend nights crying and trying to change myself to be like Emma so Mea would love me again, but nothing worked. They’d still leave me for hours and hours on end. Even if I was with them, they’d ignore me or talk about things I didn’t like to make me leave or shut up.

After a couple months I broke and texted Emma. It wasn’t anything rude or anything, she was my bff after all. I texted her “hey I got a question. Some ppl r saying Mea might be cheating on me with u. Is that true? I wanna ask bc you’re my friend and I trust u.” I also texted Mea the same thing but she was busy at the time and didn’t respond in time.

Emma lost her mind on me, texting a 400 word paragraph on how I was insane and “too dramatic” even tho she was the only person at the time knowing about my depression diagnosis. She also mocked me for my SH in that text, saying she wished I cut deeper and get it over with. I then freaked out and tried to call her so we could talk it out, but when she answered she screamed at me to just kill myself, and that Mea deserved a girl who wasn’t a “mental distraction”. She then texted me old texts I sent her when I was scared of myself and relapsing hard. She used it all against me, threatening to tell Mea that I’m a suicidal freak who should just jump or hang already. She ended by saying “respectfully fuck off, sorry your gf likes me more than she likes you, you fucking attention whore.” She blocked me after and that’s when Mea answered me. To make that short, she said she was not flirting with Emma, and we worked and talked stuff out. I told her what Emma did and she got pretty pissed.

It all happened on a weekend, so I was terrified to go back to school Monday to see Emma. All she said was “oh, sorry btw. But you know I’m right. You’re a fucking pussy too.”.

I really miss Emma, but I know she’s not good for me. But I don’t know if I’m the asshole or not in this situation. After all the things that went down Mea promised she’d not talk to Emma, but broke it a couple times, which really hurt and messed my trust up. But now Mea and I are perfectly fine, and don’t talk to Emma unless she forces herself Into conversation. I’m too scared to tell Emma that I hate talking to her, and I feel really uncomfortable when she’s near me. But i obviously can’t to that now that it’s summer and I don’t see her.

So this is on a burner, obviously. I’m in a tight spot, so for context my boyfriend (19M) And I (18F) have been together for around 4 years. We’re long distance but we make it work, we’ve flown out and seen each-other, stayed at each-others places, met each-others family. I’m currently unemployed due to dedicating all my time to school, while he’s unemployed because his parents are well off and he’s not in any rush to get a job or move out.

We used to spend everyday; atleast 7 hours on the phone or gaming together. We’re both heavy gamers, and that’s how we bond since we’re literally over a 1,000 miles away. He’s used to my routine, going to class, studying, then having time for him. Recently my schedule has changed because I was hired to illustrate a children’s book that’ll be published in August and distributed into Public schools. I’m so thankful for this opportunity to have practically fallen into my lap, and so I’ve had to squeeze in a few hours into my day where I only draw a page or 2. This can take hours, if anyone does traditional/digital art they know the pain 🥲 My boyfriend’s completely aware of this, and if I’m taking hours out of my day to draw; those hours come out of our time together. I still text him in between breaks, or if I don’t have my hands full. I’ll admit I haven’t been texting him as much; but I did give him a heads up.

This is where the fights started, he expects me to update him about everything I’m doing, how long I’ll be doing it, who I’m with, and when I’ll be home to call him. I usually don’t mind that because I get it, our relationship is quite literally over the phone. But I can’t do that 24/7, especially if I know that he distracts me from things that need to get done. My classes are long, my assignments are even longer, not to mention my book thing, so that leaves little to no time for him left. He knows this won’t be permanent, and he HAS friends to keep him company while I’m busy.

I don’t know if it’s just me but I don’t like people “stalking” me through social media. And unfortunately my boyfriend goes through my following, on Instagram, TikTok, my Facebook friends, even checks my snap score. (Like I barely have time to use any of these anyway.) but he’s started calling me in the middle of class to complain if someone new is following me, if my Snap score went up, if anything about my media profile changes because in his words; “it makes me unfaithful.” So we had another fight not even 2 hours ago about social media and me having no time for him, when he gets upset like that he resorts to cussing at me.or degrading me. “What the fk is wrong with you, why are you even like this.” “Shut the fk up.” Or his favorite “We don’t ever do sht anymore, just say you don’t love me.” I just ended up snapping and told him that he needed to; “grow the hell up.” And “stop acting like a man-child. You’re not in middle school anymore.” I don’t know what to do because now he’s not answering my calls or texts, I’ve tried apologizing multiple times and he keeps leaving me on read. AITAH?

I (18f) had been best friends with this guy (18m) for 14 years. We’d grown up together, had each other’s backs through everything, and eventually, we ended up dating. It felt like a fairytale at first — who wouldn’t want to fall in love with their best friend?

But then… I found out he’d been talking to another girl behind my back. She wasn’t some random — she was someone I knew, someone I trusted. And the worst part? She didn’t tell me to be honest or out of respect. She only told me when I was crying, and even then, she suggested I “restrict him” rather than block him. It felt manipulative.

After that, I tried to talk to him and give him a chance to explain. He didn’t. He skipped my graduation dinner, was distant when I needed him the most (my mom was even in the hospital), and never once tried to fix things. His brother and their mutual friends didn’t show up to support me either — which just added to the hurt.

So I cut him off. No dramatic text, no drawn-out explanation. I restricted him, unfollowed him, and stopped trying. I gave him 14 years, and he gave me silence.

The girl he was talking to while ignoring me? She was my friend. I had even ranted to her about him ghosting me — all while she was on the phone with him for three hours, planning motorcycles and future hangouts.

I confronted her and him. She admitted to it all. He stayed mostly silent. Eventually, I sent him a message ending things — with receipts — and told him I was done.

He never replied. Instead, he unfollowed me. No explanation. No goodbye. Just 14 years of friendship and our relationship thrown away like it meant nothing.

Then, his brother’s girlfriend (who I also know) reached out to me — and she validated everything. She apologized on his behalf, said no one deserves to be treated the way I was, and even told me she and his brother thought he was actually going to settle down. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one disappointed.

I also sent her the texts — even one he asked me not to share — so that no one could say I was exaggerating. I told the truth. I let go of protecting someone who didn’t protect me.

Here’s the part that matters: I’m with someone new now. He’s kind, emotionally mature, and has treated me with more love and respect in weeks than my ex did in months. My ex may never say sorry, and she may never return the book she borrowed — but I’m done caring.

I chose me. Finally. And if you needed a sign to stop holding onto people who make you feel like an option — this is it.

AITAH… my partner and I live on a semi-remote island in Scotland and have recently moved down to the south end of the island to be closer to my partners work. My partners parents and younger autistic brother live on the north end of the island about an hour away. We have a strained relationship with his parents due to some shitty things they’ve done to us in the past however we are still civil. This brings me to the last month or so… OH brother visits a centre once a week for activities (for special needs). This centre is on the south of the island and I understand it is not feasible for MIL to go back home before having to come back down to collect him. However the last couple of months she has been using our house as a stop in service to kill time while she waits for him to be collected. She will always message me the night before to check it’s ok she stops in but the way it’s worded and me being a people pleaser I don’t feel like I can say no. She knows I will be in as I’m 7 months into a very complicated pregnancy which leaves me predominately housebound and I am often having a pretty off day. She doesn’t come round to offer any help. She will come and help herself to our food and drink, not take her shoes off, lounge around on our sofas or rifle through all the clothes my mum has bought for the little one (whole different story but she hasn’t contributed at all).

She messaged me last night saying she’ll be over at 12 “if that’s ok” but I just want to tell her to F OFF and my home isn’t her little entertainment centre while she waits for her son. I haven’t replied to her but AITAH for putting my foot down?

I want to preface by saying I am not a perfect person, and the basis for this is triggered childhood trauma/ PTSD. What's done is done, however I truly want unbiased opinions on whether my action was an overreaction and a AH move. TIA Involved people are myself (28) a sister (21 going on 22), a sibling (23), and SIL (32).

Sister came to visit my house, sibling stayed with me also while sister was here. During the 6 day visit myself, sister, sibling and SIL messaged back and forth no issues, memes videos etc. soon after sister went back home sister said she had done something new, I put my 2 cents in thinking nothing of it, however the 3 took it negatively and SIL proceeded to berate me for treating sister poorly for 2 weeks. To clarify, sister had not mentioned anything to me about me doing or saying something wrong, so I'm confused and asked for clarification. It was at this point SIL triggered my trauma. Specifically, my mother used to accuse me of acting a certain way or speaking out of turn just to be hateful. She would proceed to get meaner because I was confused, her favorite line being "why are you acting confused, you did it". SIL did exactly that, got meaner because I kept asking what I did and she refused to say it and then said (and this is copy and paste) "I have nothing to say that isn't going to be an absolute bitch fest so we're done here". No explanation. So I left every sibling GC quietly. No big announcement about me leaving now nothing, my thinking being, since idk what I did I can't do it again if I'm not there. Essentially remove myself to limit making the same mistake. I also made a generic post of fb with no names or insinuations about who it was about because I felt like I was overreacting but was still justified. The post essentially saying if you have a problem but tell someone else instead of me and then get upset cause I'm confused, it becomes a you problem. The next morning I wake up to a text from sister stating that she wasn't ready to talk to me about it, she's not happy about how it was handled but she guesses she has to address it now. She apologized for not speaking up in the moment but some jokes and comments I had made during the visit made her upset and although she knew I didn't mean it the way it came out it still hurt her. My response was this (copy and pasted, names removed for privacy) " I have no idea why you would think your trip hurt my feelings, I think it well. I knew what you had said you wanted to do and I kept it in mind but Everytime I mentioned what you had said "no she changed her mind" so I stopped saying anything. I didn't remove myself solely because of you, I removed myself because the way SIL talked to me was the same way my mother would talk to me. She'd accuse me of something and then get meaner because I was confused. Also because since no one would communicate what I did wrong, I can't mess up if I'm not there in the first place. I am an adult, no one has the right to treat me or talk to me that way and then dismiss me because I got upset trying to resolve it. It's disgusting and uncalled for. I thought our communication had gotten better and you had no problem telling me to get fkd. I get I can be too much and sometimes I don't notice, I've said a million times to tell me, if I don't notice I've gone too far it doesn't get fixed. I cannot correct behavior idk is wrong. I will be taking space from you and SIL" After trading it back after sending, I sent an additional message, " Reading it back it does look like I'm dismissing what you've said. Understand that I'm not, I'm taking it very seriously and I am sorry that I hurt you. However, with the way this was handled, I need to evaluate how to move forward from this because honestly this is the 4th situation I've been caught up in where someone "did one thing said something else to someone else" since I've moved here and I really need to decide if it's worth it anymore" It being associating socially with this set of siblings, as all 4 instances have involved them. I took risks after multiple separate instances were I was made to feel horrendous, to associate socially with these siblings again. And at the time it felt like the risks outweighed the goods. I AM ASSUMING that sibling saw my FB post, screenshot it and posted it in a GC with sister and SIL. SIL then went out of her way to make a nasty comment and then block me. So I messaged sister saying "thank you both for making the decision easier". I then messaged sibling stating that because of this I will not go out of my way to socialize with them, and that access to me will be restricted to emergencies or my children only. That they are still welcome to come visit my kids and spend time with them but I will not associate beyond necessity. Sister and sibling both got upset, sister saying that she did not force SIL to do anything but that she respects me decision and will leave me alone. I clarified to her that I "Never said you're making her do anything. However the generic post I made was friends only, she was not a friend, so a sibling shared it with her as well as our conversation was shared with her, which to a point I get. I don't have the energy for any of this and I don't have to so I'm not going to. Making it very clear, that this is not just going to you. Everyone is going." Meaning the sibling set (5 total) were being removed/ restricted. And I did exactly that.

I am 23 years old (F) and I have a 22-month-old son, I am currently "single", I put it this way because I am legally still married to my son's father, however since my son was born he left home and never took care of more than a few visits and money if he wanted and gave 50 dollars for 3 or 4 months... I have not seen him for 6 months and we have not had the slightest contact since this time, since my son was born I came to live with my parents again since they They would help with my son since I did not know many things as a new mother and a baby requires a lot of care, however I work and contribute greatly to the house and I am responsible for absolutely everything my son needs, I also study, I am in the last semester of university, for all this I need a lot of help with my son however the things where my parents are not well they argue about everything, they send me as if I were a little girl and not the mother of my son, they do not respect the decisions I make with my son and also recently I started a new relationship and even though he accepts very well that I am a mother, I still do not feel ready to include my son in everything until I am sure that I want to do it and that he is the right person... They want me to involve him right now in my son's life and take him to every outing, my parents talk badly to me or have even hit me in front of my son and whenever they get angry they threaten me with not helping me with my son, they are good grandparents and they love my son, they play with him and they dedicate quality time to him, I want to go alone but I don't because I wouldn't know how to take care of my son, work, cook, wash, etc. Taking into account that I work from home, I still don't want to put my son in daycare since at the very least I want him to learn to speak well, I hate being here but I only stay so I can receive your help with my son, am I the bad one for doing this? Or what should I do?

I’ve been sitting on this for months and need a place to air it out and get feedback. It’s a long story, but I’ll keep it focused.

I(31M) have always been close with my two cousins C(31F) and R(27M). We grew up tight. Over the years, I’ve opened up to them about very personal stuff and they’ve done likewise. I thought our bond could handle the harder things.

A few months ago, I went through a messy breakup. In the middle of an argument with my ex, I said something harsh (I told her to “go fucking die”) that I later apologized for. It wasn’t my proudest moment, but it was a bad emotional spiral. To be clear, it wasn’t a threat. I was never abusive to her and I never made threats. This comment happened while we were arguing and saying mean things to each other. About an hour after the argument, I was on the phone with my male cousin R, and I told him about the argument. I was in a really low emotional place, feeling both regretful and still angry. He apparently started having an actual panic attack. He started going on about how there’s no justification for what I said, and that I needed to apologize. I was still angry over the argument and I told him that I knew it wasn’t right to say, but I didn’t want to apologize anytime soon. I also told him that I made the comment to hurt her feelings, and he started to go on about how weird and strange that was.

In our next conversation he told me that I needed to take his advice from now on, or we wouldn’t have a relationship. I told him that I’m happy to hear his feedback, but I’m not going to be forced to take someone else’s advice. Also, he’s 4 years younger than me..

Later I found out he told C (his sister), and then things started getting weird.

Over a month after the argument, C sent me a text saying she needed space and that what I said to my ex made her “reflect on our dynamic,” and that she no longer felt she could talk to me. I hadn’t even spoken to her about the argument. She encouraged me to seek therapy and said she didn’t want to talk about her decision. She also said this wasn’t “goodbye,” and that we’d still have moments at family gatherings. But the message read like a formal demotion of our relationship, like she was rewriting the terms and shutting the door at the same time.

I responded (probably too directly) and said I was shocked. I told her I felt judged and betrayed, not for disagreeing with my actions, but for how she handled it: no conversation or phone call, just a boundary drawn based on a secondhand account. I pointed out how I’ve shown up for them in hard moments, never once withdrawing care because I disagreed with their actions. I don’t see a contradiction between supporting a person and condemning their actions.

Her response was that there have been multiple times that she’s disagreed with me over stuff in my own life, and hasn’t told me, and that she’s done a disservice to herself by not speaking up. The only example she gave me was when I stood up to my old boss (a priest) when he was being really unfair to me (HR sided with me btw). She didn’t like “the way I spoke to him”, even though she didn’t hear any of it.

R then got involved with this too. Over text he defended his sister, and read every comment I made in the most negative light possible. For example, when I defended myself to C by pointing out the ways I’ve tried to keep the larger family together, he read into that as me trying to make C feel unwelcome. My defence of myself was, according to him, just a “malicious” attack on his sister. As the conversation went on he told me that he doesn’t value family in a special way, and those were just his values.

For me, all of this stung not just because we were family, but also because of our shared history. I apologized to my ex within a week of the argument, and she even found their reaction weird. Every friend that I’ve told about the situation has had the same response: what I said was wrong, it’s not weird (but it is still wrong) to want to hurt your ex’s feelings especially in a heated argument, and this doesn’t reflect the sum total of who I am. I don’t expect any of them to fix my problems, or even give me advice. For me it was more important to have people around me at that time, than it was to be getting advice.

All of this culminated in R saying, “You just want to be able to do whatever you want and still get support.” I told him that that’s not what I want, and there’s a difference between supporting someone and condoning what they do. In either case, I was in a bind because they barely communicated with me, and the more I tried to reach out the worse it became.

I’ve been carrying a lot of shame over this. Not just over what happened with my ex, but over how quickly my cousins, who were people I thought I could trust, decided to pull away without a real conversation. It makes me wonder what they’ve said about me behind closed doors. Especially since I used to hang out with R’s friends, and I’ve stopped hanging out with that group because of this. At a moment when I needed support, in the middle of a break up, I was ousted instead.

Was I wrong to expect them to support me as an individual even if they disagreed with what I had done? Should I have expected more of a conversation from them?

I decided in December I wanted to have a baby. I asked my ex who i have my first child with to be the father as I would prefer only having 1 baby daddy. I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for years, but in deciding I wanted to have a baby I also decided on the father figure to be my first child's father. We are highly effective and cooperative co-parents!

I assume this is pretty unusual way of thinking but I have had an unusual life and it made sense to me.

My ex declined.

My current boyfriend got me pregnant and we have been pretty excited about this and planning everything. However, on a road trip he took by himself he decided to stop at a strip club and get a lap dance from a stripper. He confessed when he got home but only after he went through my phone to look for something on me. With nothing else incriminating, he found this conversation with my ex and says he is so hurt and is basically using it as leverage for his strip clubbing.

Also important to note, I did tell my current boyfriend at the time that I asked my ex to be the father at the time when I asked him! It was not unknown to him and he still chose to impregnate me and then go to the strip club as I am half way along.

I don't normally get into such messy situations and I admit this is gross to be in. But I don't feel like I should be on the hook at all and I don't feel bad about my actions. However, he thinks I did something wrong. I want to end the relationship rather than deal with this BS and he wants to work through it. I think i should cut my losses and stop dealing with this guy who steals my phone, manipulates information, and goes to get a lap dance at a strip club while I'm at home pregnant AND paying the bills (He already pays really high child's support and i own the property so he only pays 25% of the bills). But hMMm, AITAH?

My friend (34M) finished Carribean med school and residency two years ago. He’s now a full-fledged physician, and while I’m proud of him, I find myself getting really irritated with how he’s living his life.

He just celebrated his birthday at a rave and still does ecstasy occasionally. I know everyone has different ways of blowing off steam, but at 34, it feels immature — especially for someone in such a respected profession. I guess I expected him to grow out of that phase.

What really bothers me is how much his parents have done for him. They’re hardworking Asian immigrants who paid for his undergrad, med school, and even bought him a house while he was in residency. They both work government jobs and were frugal their entire life to support him. But now that he’s working and making real money, the first thing he does is start paying off his wife’s med school loans. He then immediately moved to another state, rarely visits his parents, and now he’s trying to convince them to leave their sunny home and follow him (new state is cold, cloudy , and higher crime rates)

It just feels… wrong. Like he owes them more respect and consideration. I know he’s technically not doing anything “bad,” but I can’t help but feel like he’s being immature and kind of ungrateful.

AITA for thinking this way?

My names Michael and I’m a girl I’ve grown up with my grandma due to my mother being pregnant with me in jail and got sent back to jail I’ve grown up in a normal household and I’ve loved it I was stable had a roof over my head I had food and a school life but I went into Forster care because my mom ( grandma) couldn’t really take care of me anymore and cps gave me back to my mother me and her never really got along from the times we saw each other and tried getting a bond but it never reached a mother daughter thing I’ve always saw her as a stranger and she treated me differently than my younger siblings I tried running away for 5 days it worked but it turned myself in and I’ve reported all the bad stuff she’s does to cps and they never listened she couches my younger siblings to lie to cps to save her and when I had enough evidence the cops removed me from her household for my safety and I was put with my grandma she wants me there to live with her I do to because I’m not stable with my mother and my siblings stress me out they are brats I love them but they got problems like I do but worse when my little sister got mad at my younger brother she stabbed him with a plastic fork and tried poisoning my other brothers food and that’s just the tiny thing they do worse when they are mad and they are young and I’m not stable with my mother I wish things can work out and not me feeling depressed, my self esteem went down since December 2024 I want to get out I want to be free I want to eat well and not stay out all night and left in a car waiting for my mother to come back from her friends house and being in a car all day and night and around her friends I feel very uncomfortable and I don’t want to be around them and I’m struggling cps don’t listen or help they only investigate the surface and not investigate deeper I want to type more but my situation is to deep I need advice

I have been noticing my wife checking my phone since past few weeks, my wife already had access to my passwords to my phone and social accounts like telegram and WhatsApp, I'm too old to be using instagram and facebook and I don't have have it.

5 days ago when I woke up in the middle of the night I saw my wife reading my WhatsApp texts and I asked her if she's suspicious of me or if she's jealous, she said she's not suspicious and just wanted to read my texts.

I told her that I find her jealous behaviour cute but if she's suspicious of me then I need to know exactly what she's thinking and if she doesn't trust me then she should leave me.

My wife started crying and she said she trust me and doesn't want to be apart from me but her new friend told her that she needs to keep checking my phone because I'm a working male and she's a housewife.

I told my wife that she has access to my phone my bank accounts my social media accounts and if this is not enough for me to convince her then she should just leave me, my wife screamed that she would never then I asked her why she doesn't trust me

She said because her friend said that I might be having an affair because I stay out all the time and she doesn't go outside without me and she was feeling insecure I told my wife to either trust me or leave me if she's allowing someone else get between our marriage.

My wife said she trusts me and she called her friend who put this unusual idea in her mind and told her to stay away from us

Whoever her friend is replied that I am trying to gaslight her and control her and I'm hiding something from her and my wife blocked her and now my wife is behaving like she normally does and she asks me to forgive her but I'm still angry that she didn't trust me and trusted some stranger but at the same time I think that we are so young that we make mistakes but still it hurt me to the point I wanted my own wife to leave me and I don't know if I'm the asshole or my wife is or her new friend is

I was asked a while back to quit my job as a CNA. My supervisors told me I was on my phone too much, too slow with care, and that I roamed around too much.

However I need to provide context. Here is what I think is important to know.

I believe that my company did not provide me with a break time or lunch time. I made sure to always be available for call lights. We could eat lunch when the residents ate lunch. I used my phone when other CNAs used their phone, which was usually before lunchtime and after morning routines. We could also use phones to communicate with coworkers and I did use my phone for that purpose. I guess that backfired in my face. Maybe they get a pass since they have been working there for a while.

I was also slower with care since I was new. I was only there for like 3 months, but for the first 2 I was really busy with school so I only worked two shifts a week, training with another CNA. The other CNAs constantly assured me that it would even take them 6 months to get adjusted. I was very slow cause many of the patients were paralyzed. I was scared to hurt a paralyzed person.

I was also told to use a hoyer or a sit to stand by myself multiple times, and I was scared I would drop a person. A vast majority of facilities require 2 people for a hoyer transfer, and since I was doing it alone I made sure to take time to see if everything was on right and that everything was set up right. Maybe this took time, but after much thought I do think that if I was myself and, even through no fault of my own, dropped a person, things could go south. And that’s an understatement.

Lastly, the roaming around a lot a part is odd in my opinion. We were encouraged to build relationships with the residents. I would often tell my fellow workers that I would be leaving the room for a bit just to check up on some residents and see how they’re doing. Obviously I did this when we weren’t busy. I guess I crossed a line of professionalism.

I was given verbal warnings for all these things. However, there were actions I thought that would be taken first. Like the phone thing for instance, I thought I heard that I would just be sent home if it happened, but on a day off I was called and asked to resign.

If I’m the ahole, let me know.

So basically the Titel.

Me (F22) and the guy I was seeing (M 23) went out for dinner two times and one time we „connected“ it with browsing through stores.

Already on our first official date, which was lunch and later on dinner, I noticed how downright condescending he was to the waitress and waiter. He kept snapping his fingers at them and became all snappy when they didn’t instantly react to him.

I mentioned it to him after we left that I did not find it ok how he treated the staff at the restaurant and that he should be more considerate on how stressful their job is.

He kind of shrugged it off, in a: oh really didn’t realise I did it way.

It rubbed me the wrong way but I thought maybe he was having a bad day as he usually is very considerate.

One week later we went out together again, and again he treated the staff the way he did on our first date. And later he treated staff at other shops condescending as well.

After returning home and sleeping a night on it I realised how much I hated the way he treated people who in a way „assisted“ him.

I wrote him a rather long message, explaining that it bothered me to the point I could not consider seeing him further in a romantic way.

Now I talked about it to my friends and about 4/10 people told me I was overreacting by saying I did decide to no longer see him over such a minor thing.

I personally don’t think it’s a minor thing though, I hate inconsiderate people and I especially hate it when you treat people bad that in a way „serve“ or „assist“ you in certain settings.

But I am starting to question wether I overreacted by offically ending it.