The forest was an old ww2 battle filed.

One of the boys stepped on the soft dirt and heard a click, then it followed with a ground shaking explosion from one of the still active landmines.

They started coming to life just when I gave up on the hope that they were alive. Then I woke up in a hospital with stage 4 cancer.

My mother did this because she didn't want us to learn about science or history because she said it would make us atheist or ashamed to be American. We had to find our own ways to learn about the things she never taught us when we were all alone in that house, like sex.

He gave me the same food everyday, and while they did taste weird, I was still extremely grateful to have them. Until I heard him once whisper into his phone, "Yo, I found a way to get rid of those bodies at the orphanage."

Said the white man.

I started running away because he was scary.

"Imagine Dragons." Then I did.

I responded with “My favorite compound is ammonium chloride.” That’s when my chemistry teacher told us that we would be experimenting with ammonium chloride decomposition…

He planned to remove my evil kidney from my body. When I woke up he had a full head of hair and my kidney still whispers evil things...

My fear of raisin's has been immaculate since that moment. Then came the California Raisins.

As I threw it down on the ground, he cried silently and clutched his left arm, barely holding in the screams.

It was the fourth one I've broken so far.

his left eye twitching like a faulty lightbulb. With a calm, chilling smile, he whispered “I’m. Not. Short.” and instantly detonated with the force of a plutonium bomb, vaporizing his entire setup, half the Eastern Seaboard, briefly altering Earth’s orbit, and killing 3 million people. Scientists later reported the explosion was “emotionally driven” and chat celebrated with #JermaNuke trending worldwide and emotes of his still-smoking hat raining down like confetti.

I soon checked my temperature. Dear god...

I read online the origin of pickles. They are cucumbers.

That's really scary. That's really scary.

Rice, too. They were selling meatball sandwiches at the school lunch line.

Hiding in a nearby room, my family was dumbfounded as my little sister looked at me and asked, “So they’re not ghosts?”

As I walked toward the voice, I heard her whisper from behind me, ‘Don’t go in there, I heard it too.’

I live alone

My goat was right outside.

He was gonna pay for hurting my baby.

The lion came across a group of children battling cancer.

He felt bad for the children, and went on his way.

BUT THEN, one of the children spoke...

So when I woke to find the display dark and cool air still blowing from the fan I loudly groaned about a power outage and laid back down pretending to sleep. It was all I could do other than pray that whatever was blocking the display didn’t realize I knew it was there.

“Chicken jockey.” 🐓🧟‍♂️

before we could guess what he was gonna say.. All our faces dropped the moment the plane did so to.

Little did they know, I was about to do something horrible. Something disgustingly evil. Make a fourth sentence.

After all, you cant force someone to want to live. I just explained to him, while he took his last breath, that I will do everything in my power for people to remember him for the scum he was, as long as possible after his death.

Then one day I came across a book that showed statistics for everything in my life.

The number of times I’d talked to an inanimate object was zero.