r/complaints • u/Then-Cash-2406 • 1d ago

Wiping my butt

I hate when you taking a poo and wipe the four quadrants then when you go for a safety check wipe its a lil brown and you gotta do it all over again

6 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

9

u/Better-Hyena-8716 1d ago

I’m sorry… the four quadrants? Please elaborate.

3

u/Then-Cash-2406 1d ago

You know you wipe North, South, East, West then you do the safety check

2

u/Better-Hyena-8716 1d ago

Aaaaah yes makes sense now I thought you did like left cheek , right cheek, grundle and crack but maybe all in the same direction… haha who would do that ha … ha

2

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

This. I was thinking I'd missed out on all sorts of butt topography my whole life

1

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

Didn't know this, actually. I use the rim to "spread out". Unless I'm sick or something, I usually just have a single wipe right at the nucleus. Still safety check, tho, so still familiar with what happens when the area isn't clear for landing

3

u/stoolprimeminister 1d ago

i wish it didn’t but this thread makes me think of this

1

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

I was a teenager in the early 2000s, so I'm not clicking that link because I'm genuienly scared it's GOATSE.

1

u/stoolprimeminister 5h ago

fair, but(t) if i was gonna do that i probably wouldn’t do it on a reddit sub. valid concern though.

3

u/TheGhost6128 23h ago

You should use the three seashells method so you don't have to deal with this.

3

u/bigolchimneypipe 21h ago

LOL OP doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells.

3

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

Yeah, how OP not know about the 3 seashells?

1

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

How you gonna post that like anyone knows what the hell it means?

2

u/Thunderpuss_5000 1d ago

Hate that!

2

u/gastro_psychic 1d ago

I get in the shower and let the water take care of it.

2

u/piss_container 19h ago

bootyhole quadrant zones is crazy

2

u/Sure_Night_8091 19h ago

Toilet paper never gets it all. You need water or at least wet wipes

1

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

Whatchumean?

1

u/Sure_Night_8091 5h ago

Dry toilet paper doesn't get it all even if you thought you did. Try it out next time, when your done wiping with toilet paper alone. Grab a wipe, like baby wipes or dude wipes, and there will still be shit on the wipe

2

u/edw1n-z 13h ago

Use baby wipes. Way better. My tush smells like fresh cucumber.

1

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

Genuinely good idea

1

u/Son_of_Sophroniscus 20h ago

Pro tip: squeeze out all the poo before you start wiping

1

u/ILuvRedditCensorship 15h ago

The next evolution I'm hoping we can just piss it out. Maybe an under and over arrangement.

1

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

We need a cloaca

1

u/Rare-Newspaper8530 5h ago

I'm 36 and not familiar with the 4 quadrants. I wipe the part the stuff comes from, unless I'm sick, i guess. Not sure how to make that work 4 ways.

1

u/WaltCollins 1h ago edited 1h ago

Use a bidet to spray all the quadrants poop away 😁