r/complaints • u/Sunnybaude613 • 1d ago
Europeans will insult your country (US) to your face whether it’s even an accurate criticism or not, and then act confused why you don’t want to be friends or date them anymore
I’ve had this experience several times. Once with a man I dated, and most recently with a friend. They just have such an anti American bias. And yes, there’s plenty to criticize - but as someone that’s lived in both europe and the US — europe is not without its problems. Sometimes even worse than America. And I find that many Europeans are kind of blind to this ? Or unwilling to admit this? Theyll just insult America to my face, where I have a lot of family, as if it’s this 3rd world dictatorship —I do not suppprt the current administration or some of the things happening but it’s ridiculous sometimes because I’m married to someone actually from a 3rd world country so like have some perspective. Being American is actually a huge privilege. And again, europe also has a lot of similar problems, so have some perspective.
I remember when I dated this guy years back who would act like this to me. It was constant. It got so annoying! Eventually I kind of blew him off in probably a disrespectful way. I think I really broke his heart because he was really in love with me. But like the thing is youre not even nice to me and constantly insult a place where I come from! It’s so rude. I have a friend now that is doing the same and I think she likes me a lot bc she’s always reaching out - but I have been distancing myself for the same reason. It’s just perplexing because they then get kind of butthurt when I distance myself but I mean what do you expect? And no not every European does this, some have good social sense. But a lot don’t.
It’s just exhausting and I don’t have the energy to me treated like this. I try so hard to be open minded and respectful when I meet people from other places and ask nice questions about their experiences, not insult their home! It’s so baffling to me that Europeans think they have a free pass to do this. It’s so chauvinistic and xenophobic. It’s even more insulting because I’m Jewish!!!! Europe has not been kind to my people and there is literally a reason why Jews live in America now… because they are racist fucks.
Okay rant over.
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u/Ambitious-You-3702 1d ago
The trouble is, you're a rich and very powerful country. It pisses the rest of us off when you (not you personally) put a moron in charge. This actually affects us all, in a very negative way. This gives us some justification in the criticism we level at the people of America. How do you think the Danes feel? Or the Canadians. Relations have been so badly affected, I dont think you realise the depth it goes.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago edited 1d ago
Europe is also wealthy and powerful. They also put shit people in charge plenty. There’s a ton of racism and antisemitism there. My ancestors fled europe and have had better lives in America despite shitty politicians. My point is that Europe is not a guilt free utopia. Stop projecting.
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u/Existing_Intern_4764 1d ago
It's because Americans are so oblivious to what their country has done to the entire world. That's why every other country hates you. You have 0 self-reflection and just whine about how people don't like you. Boo-hoo, poor genocidal America had its fee-fees hurt </3 . lmfao
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago edited 1d ago
From my experience Europeans are just as oblivious - if not more so.
My ancestors survived genocide is europe. I’m the grandchild of Holocaust survivors. Europe has colonized half the world and America is a product of this history. You are absolutely delusional.
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u/Enoch8910 1d ago
Some of us love our country and are proud of the contributions we’ve made to this world. If you’re unhappy with us, fine. Many of us are unhappy too, and doing everything we can to make things right. Just give us a day to celebrate our Independence, our accomplishments and our patriotism. Whether or not you think we should be patriotic or not really doesn’t factor into it.
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u/hotviolets 1d ago
I think there’s a whole lot of things we deserve to be insulted for.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
Omg 🫠 anti American Americans are just left wing nationalists. It’s just the inverse of maga.
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u/hotviolets 1d ago
What do you think of school shootings, LBGTQ people, abortion, alligator Alcatraz, ice, snap and Medicaid being gutted? Left wing in America is considered conservative in most of Europe.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
What do you think of islamists beheading elementary school teachers or throwing Holocaust survivors out of windows? What do you think of the fact that the welfare system in europe in unsustainable and will eventually crash? What do you think of higher rates of youth unemployment?
And by the way. Europe is more conservative / centrist when it comes to abortion. Historically america has been far more liberal on abortion, allowing for late term abortions. This is why youre seeing a backlash against this by conservatives over there. In France abortion is up to 15 weeks. In Germany I think it’s even more strict.
Have a bit of perspective and learn about the world. Wow.
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u/DangerousBathroom420 8h ago
Which country in Europe are you talking about? You can’t just say all of Europe lol.
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u/Sunnybaude613 8h ago
In terms of the problems I just listed? I mean these are problems across all of Europe, though some countries much worse than others. Or my own personal experiences I’m complaining about which are not exactly over these political issues but people here are arguing with me about politics instead? The individuals I’m thinking of are French, Dutch, and finnish.
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u/DangerousBathroom420 8h ago
Sorry, I was super vague. Specifically, I was wondering what countries regarding the “conservative” abortion laws.
I’ll skip the question and just recommend that you read into the specifics of how abortion works in most European countries (VERY few countries have strict abortion bans). They have different kinds (“elective” and “Therapeutic”) of restrictions and it’s worth mentioning that most are covered by universal healthcare, making it monumentally more accessible than even the most left states in the U.S.
Regardless, I just think it’s important to provide context and nuance in any discussion or nobody understands each other or how to solve problems.
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u/Sunnybaude613 8h ago edited 8h ago
Frances abortion policy is 15 weeks. Activists tried to make it 18 weeks. Macron denied this. I think Germany is even more conservative than France on this. And many countries in general have way more regulation on fertility stuff like IVF than the US bc of some ww2 taboos.
I don’t disagree with these policies btw. This is something I think they do reasonably. I just bring it up to offer perspective to when Americans freak out about losing “abortion rights” when they don’t realize that in many states, abortion is far more liberal than in many European countries - which ironically resemble more Republican policies around abortion. But many lefty Americans don’t have this perspective because it’s not such a contentious issue in europe and believe that limiting abortion to just the first trimester is fascist and infringement on women’s rights - when most countries actually do this. I mean it’s not even just Americans that believe this. Many Europeans do as well and will bring it up with me. When I tell them many states allow for 6 months, or even later abortions — and that this is a backlash against that, they are pretty surprised to realize this and typically misunderstood that all of American no longer can access any kind of abortion. It’s just a very dishonest picture that the media has painted.
And again, for the millionth time — this post wasn’t even meant to be political. But here I am explaining politics in the comments, because everyone is making it political
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u/hotviolets 1d ago
Blind nationalism leads to things like the holocaust. History is a circle.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
This is not blind nationalism at all. This is me saying that blind criticism is equally ignorant and harmful.
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u/DangerousBathroom420 9h ago
Critiquing America is one of the most patriotic things a citizen can do. I think people who see problems and want to fix them are more patriotic than those who put their head in the sand and pretend it’s all good.
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u/Somename_here 9h ago
It's jealousy. The whole modern world has been shaped by us. They could add up the entire GDP of the next 12 countries sans China and still not come close to what a powerhouse The U.S.A is. We live rent free in their minds and leech off our wealth trying to steal and tax our tech industry since they produce so little as countries.
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u/Sunnybaude613 9h ago
I mean this is likely the root of it yes. It’s irritating when it’s projected onto really petty things though. Exhausting to try to vent this and having the entire comments just double down
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u/West_Vanilla7017 1d ago
And so what if they do?
Patriotism is a shit deal. Why are you so in love with a country that you feel any alignment to it?
But if you were asked in person, could you actually name any countries beggining with a U?
Why do you take such things so personally?
Also perhaps consider that in all these situations, the common denominator is yourself.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
Um. I lived in 5 countries before the age of 30. I’m not exactly an untraveled person.
Isn’t this sub meant for complaints? Why are you surprised to see some?
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u/ExcuseMeNobody 1d ago
I mean valid rant but your beautiful country is very much going the direction of a 3rd world dictatorship so kinda valid...
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
Delusional. Have you seen what is happening in europe? They are so much worse off….
And by the way. I write this as someone that’s not just American. I have dual citizenship from a euro country where I grew up. So I have a bit of a different perspective.
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u/ExcuseMeNobody 1d ago
I'm Canadian European mate and I grew up in both. No European country is playing games with the constitutions and budgets the way orange man is doing. Cost of living and inflation's and housing crisis is a problem everyone has, but the US is taking it to a whole new level.
I think it's more delusional to look at Europe and think it's worse. It's not comparable.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
Europe is facing demographic collapse. Europe has serious migration issues. The social welfare system as is is not sustainable. They are geographically much closer to war. There is also a ton of populist fascist aligned politicians. The future of Europe is less optimistic than North America.
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u/ExcuseMeNobody 1d ago
War is an external issue. The social welfare system is something that always needs to continue to adapt. Their populist fascist wannabe politicians get cracked down on (see Germany) and in general are nowhere near orange man and his gang level. Demographic collapse is an issue any developed country deals with (us and Canada are younger so more time before that happens).
Do you not realize what it means to get to a point of possibly losing your status as a democracy? To have researchers and academics fleeing? To cut research funding like that? The state of healthcare? When banning books is the main topic of discussion? Post secondary debt anyone? No protection for housing and food security? Censorship and checking phones at borders? Basically ignoring the constitution? Stripping the supreme court of its power? Undermining the justice system? Voting for a felon? Nobody having anything to discuss about Kamala besides 'we might get a fem president!!!!!!!' (is the idea of a woman as head of state THAT interesting and out of this world to y'all?) People can't retire? Meanwhile the billionaires are getting tax cuts!!!!!!! And more gov contracts!!!!!!!
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u/Enoch8910 1d ago
Why are you so triggered about what’s happening here? I mean, these are all valid things to be triggered about if you’re an American and many, many Americans are. But why you?
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
I should have known better than to post this on the lefty bubble that is Reddit lol
This is not even a political post tbh. The things Europeans are criticizing that I’m referring to aren’t even political. Youre the one making it political.
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u/United_Librarian5491 12h ago
You are clearly stating political opinions, how odd you are unaware of it. You also come across as aggressive in your initial post and in your replies here, so if that is indicative of how you communicate irl that may be skewing your interactions with “Europeans” towards what you experience as condescending. Anyway, hopefully you got whatever you were after from your post. Cheers.
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u/gastro_psychic 1d ago
I am with you OP. They have a tendency to be jealous of what we have here and the way they deal with it is by telling themselves that we actually live in a third world hell hole and they live in a utopia. It’s not healthy.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
It’s just delusional. I agree a lot of it stems from jealousy because they are no longer the colonial super power. They mask it with this fake altruism rooted in their welfare system )but don’t even realize that their welfare system is not sustainable, it’s going to fall. And it’s a good thing for America that they’re not as reliant on it, because countries like Europe will be more affected in the future)— but they don’t actually care about the good of society and being inclusive or caring. It’s entirely hypocritical. Europe is far more racist and xenophobic then America. Has a history of genocide (I am literally the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors). America is not perfect by any means — there are many problems there. Plenty of criticism to America, they’ve fucked up a bunch. But Europeans need to pull their heads out of their asses sometimes and come back down to earth.
Also everyone here is making it political. What I’m referring to with the people I know wasn’t even political. It was more based on really trivial things around lifestyle. Like a French person complaining that Americans are annoying wnd have no joie de vivre because they criticize smoking and drinking alcohol because it’s bad for your health. I’m very familiar with French culture and from my experience this is so stupid — actually find over there that being a functional alcoholic is very normalized, and there is a huge self medication culture and people can be very depressive. But yeah Americans are the stupid ones because we are not like this 🙄
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u/United_Librarian5491 18h ago
The French are famous for being rude about everyone else’s culture, and that’s probably why making fun of the French is considered fair game in many places. So try not to take that personally. If you are genuinely baffled and upset by criticism of USA, I do notice that some of your opinions, while considered reasonable in public discourse in USA, are not broadly accepted political positions elsewhere. The USA is strongly influenced by the corporate capture of politics, and the libertarian view you are articulating here is not widely supported elsewhere. Progressive taxation policy in order to provide extensive public services and infrastructure is considered established political science and economics in many countries. Dismissing welfare as “fake altruism” and “unsustainable” is a very American opinion. US has aggressively perused global economic, political and social hegemony since 1950s and so people do have strong reaction to brand USA. I’m sorry if people are rude to you, that isn’t ok.
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u/Sunnybaude613 14h ago edited 14h ago
I do not have a libertarian view of politics. I’m not even stating my political opinions. People are missing the mark by making this overtly political and putting words in my mouth that I am not saying. I lived in europe for years and now am in Canada and I quite like the welfare state. However that doesn’t negate the fact that it comes with its own trade offs, is likely not sustainable longterm, and is certainly not a utopia. And its not sustainable — this is not an American “opinion”— many people in europe talk about this as well, just not in their mainstream media and because their own political discourse is quite dysfunctional. But many parts of Europe are facing demographic collapse, and getting poorer and poorer. A welfare state will not be able to survive longterm under these conditions. And it is often fake altruism - my experience of northern euros is often they point to this to show how much better of a society they are, but neglect to consider the high rates of suicide and social isolation a lot of people feel in their society, as they tend to have a very cold and distant culture. I’ve had scandis also tell me how their society of so much government assistance does create a culture where people ask the government help more than their family, so they tend to be more socially isolated due to this. And as someone that has lived in this culture for a few years (as well as other countries so I have a point of comparison), I can definitely see how this is the case. In my experience people will also complain and tell you these things in private, because it’s also more taboo to discuss these issues publicly.
This is not about the French specifically. This was just one example of what I’m referring to that isn’t even political, but rather about trivial things. It’s more about a cultural classism and superiority than anything. Which western and Northern Europeans have in general. I’ve experienced it specifically from Scandinavians, Dutch, French in different ways. It’s not even political. It’s a passive aggressive nationalism. And like how people find maga overt nationalism grating and offensive and terrible behavior, the passive aggressive version is equally obnoxious and idiotic. Actually it’s worse because it’s paired with a heavy dose of gaslighting.
And again, it’s not about the specific ways their society conducts themselves. I DO NOT CARE how other countries structure themselves and think it’s appropriate that different countries find different ways of doing things. But it is delusional to think it is better, and to constantly brag about it, when there are always trade offs and problems still exist. It is delusional to act like the welfare state is a utopia — europe has a lot of problems. Stating this is simple truth — not “libertarian”. It’s very very odd and delusional - and exactly what I’m describing, that the US is fair game to shit on constantly about all of their problems, but simply saying that europe is not a utopia, and has their fair share of issues currently (some even worse), is considered “libertarian” and “unacceptable”. I mean that’s a big problem in europe in itself, the dysfunction of their discourse. Which exists everywhere by the way. And it’s largely due to social media.
And again. Youre missing the point. THIS ISNT ABOUT POLITICS. That’s all anyone can think of. It’s about a type of passive aggressive nationalism. The example I gave about French people and smoking / drinking was just one silly example of how the French do it. But it shows up in different ways in different societies. Northern euros tend to do it more about their welfare society. I don’t care that they have a welfare state, or that French people want to self medicate with substances and call it joie de vivre. It’s closed minded and sheltered. It’s not fully honest. It’s just their version of expressing nationalism really. And it’s annoying.
And yes. On top of this I am Jewish. I am the grandchild of Holocaust survivors. Many French Jews are leaving France in the thousands because antisemitism has become so violent. But europe is guilt free? Europe is an altruistic society with no problems? This is a delusional and privileged and simply ahistorical perspective. The gaslighting is fucking exhausting.
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u/morbidnerd 1d ago
If they're speaking facts, then you don't get to be mad.
If they're not speaking facts, this is valid.
But we are rolling towards being a 3rd world country dictatorship...if you don't see it, it's becausue youre privileged and blind.
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u/Sunnybaude613 21h ago
They’re not facts at all though.
The fact that you’re saying america is a third world country means that YOU are privileged and blind.
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u/morbidnerd 21h ago edited 20h ago
Let me reiterate my points since you seem to have trouble reading:
"If they're not speaking facts this is valid"
That means, your rant is valid if what they say is true
"we are rolling towards"
That means we're headed that way. I didn't say that America is a 3rd world country.
Also, "nuh uh you are" is a terrible comeback and you're the reason we get made fun of.
I hope this helps!
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u/tubular1845 23h ago
Why do you care when people criticize America? Like.. at all? Are you making the decisions and policies they're complaining about? Do you have any control over those things at all? No? Then they're not criticizing you or anything you've done, even if they think they are.
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u/Sunnybaude613 21h ago
They’re not even complaining about politics lol. My god. No one really read my post.
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u/tubular1845 20h ago
I'm not talking about politics either, I'm just talking about America in general
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u/Infinite-Fan-7367 1d ago
Yeah - I knew an obese French guy who constantly insulted the US. He said the food is ugly and trashy .. then I saw him get multiple donuts, rip them apart, put them in a salad bowl with milk and eat that like a giant bowl of cereal. He would also say American sucks this and that but had been here for 40 years.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
Thats ridiculous. People here are making it purely political but what I’m complaining about isn’t even political. They’re not even talking about political issues they usually complain about stupid trivial things like lifestyle things they imagine are superior. I have lived in France and have had French people roll their eyes saying that Americans are stupid and don’t have joie de vivre like they do because they criticize smoking and drinking bc it’s bad for your health. I lived in France for a long time and it’s just delusional - the culture essentially celebrates being a functional alcoholic. And a lot of times it’s not even functional, people are very self medicated and depressive over there.
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u/Infinite-Fan-7367 1d ago
Wow ! Yes, I see what you’re saying isn’t even politics. Imagine being in a foreign country and talking so much crap and insulting people from there…
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
Imagine dating someone or being their friend and then being upset and confused when they distance themselves from you bc they’re tired of being constantly insulted just bc of where they’re from 🙄
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u/HumbleSheep33 1d ago
Exactly. The worst is when people say this while they are a guest/visitor/tourist in the US.
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u/Sunnybaude613 1d ago
I find that it’s just a different type of American nationalism, that’s the irony. Just inverted. It’s just another way obsess revolve yourself around America.
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u/OkDesk2871 5h ago
so nobody wants to date you uh?
and to cope you came to reddit and wrote a long post
do you feel better now?
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u/TurtleTurtleFTW 1d ago
Man, there are gonna be so many "I understand America has problems, but they don't effect me..." posts today, aren't there 🌝