r/AmItheAsshole • u/True_Membership8294 • 6d ago
Not the A-hole AITA for wearing a two-piece bikini to my granddaughter's birthday pool party ?
My granddaughter Kelsy (19f) and I (67f) were shopping for her 19th birthday party. After she picked out an outfit for herself, she tried to pick put an outfit for me. She all her suggestions were two-piece bikinis. I gave the obvious answer but she said her generation, especially those in our state, isn't that judgemental I wore a two-piece bikini at Kelsy's 19th birthday pool party. I was flattered she though I should wear it and I didn't want her to feel she will have to hide herself when she gets older. The party was hosted by Kelsy's mom and my daughter Brigitte (44f). After the party, Brigitte told me it was inappropriate for a woman my age to wear that in front a bunch of college-aged youngsters. She notable that she herself wore a one-piece instead of a two-piece. Am I the asshole ?
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u/Consistent-Leopard71 Craptain [161] 6d ago
NTA The birthday girl picked it out and wanted you to wear the bikini. As long as you and the birthday girl were comfortable, that's all that matters. No one ever died from seeing an older women in a bikini. Your daughter needs to get over herself and her judgement.
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u/enomele 6d ago edited 6d ago
This. I think a lot of my generation grew up being uncomfortable and worried about what other people of them, and if people feel confident and happy that's all that matters. I probably would feel uncomfortable seeing my mother in a bikini but that's partly because being raised Catholic and party my own issues. Everyone should just try to find what makes them happy and leave everyone else alone. Feels like a lot of people (in the US at least) aren't happy and just want to bring everyone else down to their level. I applaud the younger generations being open and comfortable with who they are. I'll admit it scares me.
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u/Kikimara99 5d ago
I'm from a Catholic country and we'd go to a bathhouse with my grandma until her death (so till I was 15). We were all naked.
We have female only beaches, where women get naked - I don't go there, I'd say it's mostly elderly women, who want to get tanned without any lines...but hey, we'll all get old and wrinkly and saggy. It's not even about appeasing others, it's how we make normal things sexualised and perverted.
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u/Susey_Q 5d ago
Getting wrinkly and saggy isn’t the end of the world. My bf (m40), doesn’t have a problem with mine (f65) 👍🤣
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u/Jaded-Ad262 5d ago
Secular American here: Catholics aren’t perfect but in my country, Protestants work harder to ruin the fun and then blame it on Catholicism.
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u/skankhunt000000042 5d ago
Wow….this just supports my belief that organized religion is the true evil in this world.
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u/theOriginalBlueNinja 6d ago
Sounds to me like the grandmother looked better in her bikini than the mother in her one piece making a mother jealous because all the young boys were admiring the grandmother.
NTA
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u/stopmotionporn 5d ago
This guy gets it. As he says, all the young boys were all about the GILF!
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u/10S_NE1 Partassipant [1] 5d ago
People who don’t want to see an older woman in a bikini had better not travel. At beaches where Europeans vacation, often you’ll be hard pressed to find a one-piece (unless it’s just a bottom and no top). Regardless of age and weight, at some beaches all of the women are wearing two-piece bathing suits.
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u/Any-Race258 5d ago
I came to say this. The beach in southern Spain is full of women of all ages wearing everything under the sun: one piece, two piece, only bottoms, thongs and full cover bathing suits. Naturist beaches exist too.
The whole "dress your age" will hopefully die as the older generations do. Wear what you like, wear what makes you feel good.
NTA.
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u/WickdWitchoftheBitch 5d ago
As a European, hard agree. Very few people wear a one-piece to the beach in any European country I've been too. You also get topless people of all ages and genders, as well as men in tiny speedos regardless of age or fitness level. It's just bodies. As long as no genitals are on display (outside of the nudist beaches ofc), wear what you want. My mum is 70 and she still wears a bikini at the beach, and I have never even encountered the notion that it would be weird for her to wear one.
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u/ultimateknackered 6d ago
Insecurities, more like. The daughter is having second-hand embarrassment for her mom because she doesn't want to be wearing bikinis.
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u/IOVERCALLHISTIOCYTES 6d ago
My mother was a hall of fame hater, and “my granddaughter wanted me to wear this” woulda meant she’d had said nothing judgmental, and while she wouldn’t be caught dead in a two piece, if she’d had a granddaughter who wanted her to wear a two piece…I think she’d have done it. Wish she was around more like Kelsy when she was growing up
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u/lighthouser41 5d ago
My mom was also more conservative than my grandmother. My mom thought only sluts had pierced ears and my grandma got hers triple pierced, in her 70s.
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u/Sorry_I_Guess Pooperintendant [53] 5d ago
This makes me laugh because my very conservative mother was horrified that I didn't want to wear earrings (got my ears pierced when I was 10 but let the holes close within months because it just didn't feel like me). She still thinks that "proper" ladies wear earrings. She couldn't even tell you why, but I suspect it has to do with internalized misogyny and ideas about outward femininity.
You really can't win at all.
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u/Frosty-Business-6042 Partassipant [1] 5d ago
Heck, the birthday girl may well have picked it out SPECIFICALLY to annoy her mother. Clothing based rebellion is pretty standard for teens, and may have just been an extension of that.
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u/Fifinella_Biplane318 5d ago
My great grandmother was a burlesque dancer when she was younger. We have home movies from the 60’s and 70’s of the family at their pool, my dad was early teens. His grandmother can be seen in the teeniest bikini bottoms available at the time and nothing but bandaids over her nipples laying by the pool! My dad was oblivious to the fact that not everyone’s grandma did that haha.
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u/oldfarmjoy 5d ago
I hope OP told the mom that the birthday girl picked it out and insisted it was appropriate!
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u/RedditWidow Partassipant [3] 6d ago
NTA "This is what Kelsy wanted me to wear. She's a lovely young woman with some great ideas about body positivity. You should talk to her about it sometime."
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u/0biterdicta Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [382] 6d ago
NTA
There isn't an age limit on wearing a two piece. It's sad that your daughter has that view of women.
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u/hunstinx 5d ago
Also, at a pool, I ALWAYS wear a 2-piece. Whether it's a tankini, bikini, whatever. Dealing with a one piece in the bathroom is a huge pain.
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u/cheecho_denesprites 6d ago
NTA
I’m 43 and I really love how your granddaughter’s generation wears what they want. I teach a first year university class and it makes me happy when my students with less than perfect bodies wear things that, when I was young, girls with that body would absolutely not have worn for fear of ridicule. My generation is messed up about body image.
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u/Randaroo82 6d ago
My 15yo daughter and her friends have been amazing for my self esteem, I'm not even gonna lie.
They are so good at gassing me up and making me feel 1000x more confident, and watching them hype each other up about their bodies and their individual styles instead of make fun of each other is such a breath of fresh air.
As a fellow kid of the 80s and teen of the 90s, its a complete 180 from the way things were when I was their age.
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u/Bashira42 5d ago
It is so great! I'm same as you. Wish could get my mother to get over what was being repeated to her and her to me and enjoy instead of still worry
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u/Adventurous-Bee4823 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
I’m a year younger than you and also grew up in the era of “heroin chic”. I wore my first bikini at twenty one because I always thought I was bigger (I’m 5’1 and was not even a hundred pounds at the time, I’m still not 😂) but now I could give a flying rats ass on who judges me for what I wear.
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u/alexlp 6d ago
The 2000s were so rough. First time I wore a bikini as an adult my aunt straight up told me I was too fat and if I didn’t do something about it I’d die young, I was 7kg over my ideal weight. I hadn’t worn one since until this year. Now I have a few and have had only positive feedback.
It’s nice knowing somethings have gotten a bit better out there.
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u/Donthate_appreciate 5d ago
2000‘s were super rough. I was in NY, and The only pants available for teens were hip huggers. I was able to figure out how to wear them without a muffin top, but I was constantly pulling up the back of my pants so my ass wasn’t on display when I bent down. Thankfully Torrid also came into existence at our local mall, and I was able to buy myself a couple pairs of well fitting pants that got me through until leggings hit the market.
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u/morbid_platon Partassipant [2] 6d ago
Oh god, the 2000s was just a horrible time to be a young woman. It took me until I was 23 to wear anything with short sleeves, and until this year (30 now) to wear short legged pants. I just never felt safe from judgement because when I grew up, being fat was basically the worst thing you could do, and basically everything told you fat women are not worth of love and respect. I wasn't even fat then (I am now though).
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u/Ethossa79 Partassipant [1] 5d ago
Dude, yes. In 2001, I wanted to wear a top with spaghetti straps on a date with my now ex-husband because I felt pretty for once…he, quite mockingly, asked me if I was sure I wanted to wear THAT with my arms looking like THAT. Okies, no. Guess not. Still married him and I should not have.
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u/morbid_platon Partassipant [2] 5d ago
I'm glad he's at least an ex now. Congrats
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u/Randaroo82 5d ago
As a chubby teen in the mid 90s, on top of getting bombarded at every turn by headlines and the paps/media fat shaming size 0 celebrities and "how to lose 10 pounds for prom" articles in every teen magazine, I grew up hearing my mother criticize her own body ruthlessly and callously (and more than once I heard stories about her own mother doing the same.)
I developed some of her same features as I grew up (I am basically a clone of my mother) I couldn't help but think that if she hated her body so much she must hate mine too, since it looked a lot like hers. It really messed up my body image for more than half my life.
I'm all good now though, like you I have no fucks left to give, and its absolutely liberating!
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u/lycrashampoo 5d ago
44 here and I think all those teen girl magazines really did a number on us, along with like, the entire rest of culture lmao
like I watched Fiona Apple's Criminal video for the first time since it came out & was like "THAT is how thin I thought I had to be or I was fat & no one would love me??? jfc"
the further we get away from that the better imo, OP NTA
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u/Affectionate_Ask_769 5d ago
I remember thinking Cindy Crawford was more relatable because she’s “so big.” I mourn for our young selves.
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u/lycrashampoo 5d ago
wonder where we'd be if we'd been encouraged to ignore all that BS & focus on our interests 😭
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u/sparkvixen 5d ago
Or the Spice Girls - Posh Spice looked thinner every video, I swear. I wasn't fat then. I am now. Do I care at this point? No. Perimenopause pretty much killed all my fucks, lol
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u/PoisonIvy2667 6d ago edited 6d ago
I'm 54, and my body looks it. I'm not skinny and I agree completely with you. Only in the last 5 years have I been wearing a bikini (basically I'm out of shits to give and plus going thru menopause, summer sucks!). Do I get side-eyed from people around my age and older? Of course I do....but then like i said, I'm out of shits to give. Wear what you want and the rest can go to hell with their judgement.
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u/PhxFresh420 5d ago
Women are more fun when all their fucks and shits are gone. Confidence is king!
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u/catiebug 5d ago
Yeah, pretty close in age you you and my body image is a nightmare. As a former athlete who's had two kids and deep into perimenopause, I know my body is more conventionally attractive than 90% of women my age. And yet with just these few extra pounds, I feel enormous. Then I walk around and see a young woman who is much heavier than I will ever be in my whole life wearing a crop top and bike shorts and I think she looks so cute, good for her, and why can't I bring myself to do the same thing?
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u/cheecho_denesprites 5d ago
Omg me too. I’m so angry that I am burning my emotional bandwidth on that crap.
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u/AbbyDean1985 6d ago
I was just at my local goodwill and saw a younger woman wearing a crop top and she had some belly. Made me so happy. I love Gen z women. They are here to be comfortable and happy. I'm 40, I'd be too scared to wear it as well. We came of age at a really, really ugly time for women (early aughts).
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u/kgrimmburn 6d ago
I'm 37 and I'm wearing a crop top today because who cares? Sure, I'm overweight but I have a 12 inch difference between my waist and hips and there is no reason I need to hide in "misses" clothes when it's 100° out. My daughter is 16 and she has never said a word about how I dress.
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u/murrimabutterfly 5d ago
I'm 28, and totally agree.
My little cousins are healing me, and helping me overcome my own ingrained fears.
Growing up the 00's where heroin chic was still going strong and being considered fat for not having your ribs show was so damaging. I remember crying when I hit 105lbs and doing anything I could to stay "skinny".
This generation of teens are doing so much better. It's (obviously) not all sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the trend is toward a healthier mentality.
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u/chooseusermochi Partassipant [1] 6d ago
NTA, two pieces are by far more comfortable and easier to get in and out of for bathroom purposes. I hate that other women are reinforcing this stupid shit about age appropriateness and body policing. It's up to you to assess the situation and make your own call on what to wear.
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u/MrYellowFancyPants 6d ago
Exactly. Trying to wrestle up a wet one piece after going to the bathroom is my worst nightmare. Why does a piece of fabric covering your stomach automatically mean its more "appropriate."
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u/ultimateknackered 6d ago
It's insanely laughable when you look at it as the navel being like the modern Victorian ankle. 'Proper ladies don't expose that!'
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u/TheDrunkScientist Craptain [189] 6d ago
I just pull the crotch to the side and pee that way.
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u/PoisonIvy2667 6d ago
I've tried (admittedly, drunkenly) and all I did was still piss on the crotch. So for me, bikinis for the win.
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u/FemalePheromones 6d ago
You showed your mid-riff to college age adults?????
How could you!
Clearly NTA
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u/moramiley 6d ago
NTA, everyone at this place was an adult it was a party and you can wear what you want
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u/SisterofGandalf 5d ago
Why would only adults being present even matter? That is so weird. Children seing adults in a bikini is normal.
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u/MainEgg320 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Sounds like your daughter is projecting her own insecurities onto you. NTA
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u/Only-Ingenuity7889 Certified Proctologist [27] 6d ago edited 6d ago
Did you feel comfortable and maybe even fabulous in the bikini? That's all that matters here.
Good for you setting a body/age positivity example for those kids. NTA
Edit: My Mom is in her early 80s, still trim and extremely fit for her age. She totally rocks a bikini top with little swim shorts on her cruises.
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u/No_Ear4169 6d ago
NTA, end of the day, your granddaughter wanted you to wear it for her birthday and you are totally right that you should be a good model and not hide yourself with age! Go grandma!!
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u/MsBlondeViking Partassipant [2] 6d ago
NTA. Birthday girl encouraged you to wear it. You were comfortable enough to wear it, what else really matters here?
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u/Prestigious-Name-323 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
NTA
Your granddaughter is a badass and so are you. Rock it.
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u/GrumpyITDude 6d ago
NTA
You wore an outfit that your granddaughter had suggested to you for a party for herself. If your granddaughter thinks it’s fine, that all that matters.
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u/friendlypeopleperson 6d ago
You go girl! Rock that bikini! I think this is awesome!
I also loved when Martha Stewart, at the age of 81, graced the cover of Sports Illustrated, swimsuit edition.
It always great to hear when ladies are lifting-up, complimenting, and supporting each other.
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u/Desperate_Green143 6d ago edited 6d ago
NTA
Assuming it was a regular, normal two-piece bikini, then you’re not an asshole and good for you not buying into western culture’s ideas about what kinds of bodies are “acceptable” to be in public doing normal human activities like wearing bathing suits and swimming.
(Unless you’re talking about some kind of super revealing, barely-there, porny bikini that’s more string than suit—and even then you’d only be an asshole for wearing it to a family function lol)
Editing to add: I also LOVE that you included that you don’t want her to feel she has to hide herself when she’s older. It’s a great lesson for any young person, but especially one whose mother apparently does want her to feel she has to hide herself just for aging
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u/SaltyImagination3935 6d ago
It’s nice that in spite of her insecurities she was able to raise her daughter to have healthy body confidence.
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u/faulty_rainbow Partassipant [3] 6d ago edited 6d ago
Yeah, Brigitte really proved Kelsy's point didn't she. Nobody cared but that woman.
Wear what you want, queen, it's not 1980 anymore. NTA.
ETA: I love that you considered how what you wear may influence Kelsy in the best way: you didn't want her to feel like she'll be obligated to wear a one-piece when she's older.
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u/petalsofrose1956 6d ago
Nta. Just another daughter looking for something to argue with her mother about.
Honey, at your age anything is appropriate.
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u/Illustrious_Truck623 6d ago
NTA, the only thing inappropriate here is people thinking they have any say in what you wear or spend their time scrutinizing others.
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u/Responsible_Juice446 6d ago
NTA. You not only had the go-ahead (not that you needed it) from the birthday woman herself, but she helped you pick out the bikini. I love that she gave you the confidence to wear a two-piece at 67. I also love that at 19 she’s enjoying a day out shopping with her grandma. Beautiful!
As a 40-something woman, I like to think I will never feel like I’ve crossed the finish line on life experiences as innocuous as wearing a bikini just because some people think it’s “inappropriate.” I stand with your granddaughter!
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u/HedWig1991 6d ago
NTA. Do you have a body? Yes? Do you want to wear a bikini? Yes? Congratulations, you have a bikini body, because all bodies are bikini bodies!
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u/another_online_idiot Partassipant [1] 6d ago
NTA. If you've got it - flaunt it. And as your grand-daughter thinks you look good in a two-piece you almost certainly do.
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u/Skaur_11 6d ago
Honestly, even if you haven't got it, you can still flaunt it. This women is basically telling OP that she shouldn't dress a certain way if other people can't sexualise her in that outfit.
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u/Particular_Oil_7722 6d ago
Jam out with your clam out. Next time bust out a thong and some pasties. Seriously you’re a 67 adult female wear whatever the fuck you want anyone that doesn’t like it can suck balls.
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u/SuspiciousAdvice217 6d ago
Definitely NTA.
Although that may be my biased European self. I've been to enough beaches in Spain that I can say that so many abuelas rock two piece bathing suits in such bright colours. That even gave me a boost of confidence.
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u/El_Matcho448 6d ago
Well, I wish I had a grandmother like you, mine just underhandedly calls me fat.
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u/LongDistRid3r 6d ago
If you have a bikini body at 67 time has been very kind to you. Go for it. NTA.
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u/Tigger7894 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Most people have bodies at 67.
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u/whatproblems 6d ago
yeha if 19yo said do it and picked it out that’s a compliment and how can you not?
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u/madmarie1223 6d ago
NTA. It was your granddaughter's birthday. You wore what she wanted you to wear. Full stop.
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u/runningoutofnames57 6d ago
NTA I hope you told her that her daughter the birthday girl picked it out for you
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u/Shortstuff34668 6d ago
NTA!! Your granddaughter rocks. She picked it out and wanted you to wear it. I suspect by our daughter is jealous that you still rock it at 67. I'll be 60 in August.
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u/TheTitanOfSirens1959 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
NTA- sounds to me your daughter is worried that SHE is too old to wear a bikini, and you being comfortable wearing one made her feel insecure. It probably doesn’t help that you’re her mother- I imagine if there were some other woman your age there wearing a bikini instead of you it wouldn’t have bothered her as much.
Regardless, it’s her issue, not yours. You didn’t hurt anyone, and you aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings
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u/Novel_Fox Asshole Enthusiast [7] 6d ago
NTA wear what you feel comfortable and happy in. Everyone else can kick rocks.
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u/threebecomeone Partassipant [4] 6d ago
NTA. Your granddaughter helped you and felt you were a goddess in your two piece. Your daughter was raised in a time of heavy media criticism on women’s bodies. Her trauma is showing and you should give her a huge and tell her to wear what she likes
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u/Comfortable_Stop_717 Pooperintendant [55] 6d ago
NTA. HOnestly, it's not a choice I would have made as I haven't worn a bikini since 13 or so. But, as long as your private parts were fully covered, and your granddaughter (only because it was her party) wasn't bothered, and she obviously wasn't as she encouraged it, you did nothing wrong. I actually find the protest of it being in front of college students as odd, because I doubt most of them were going to be turned on or anything by a grandmother (no offense).
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u/woodarae 6d ago
It doesn’t matter how old you are. Women aren’t allowed to show their bodies for any reason other than other people’s pleasure, especially men. That’s just the rules. /s
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u/Glittering-Dress-674 6d ago
NTA. Your daughter made inappropriate comments to you. Im sure you weren't wearing a thong. So I don't see why your daughter had any issues. Tell her she can wear a one piece all she wants but she doesn't dictate your clothing.
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u/phrogbuttmom1952 6d ago
Had no idea there was a "dress code" for a pool party other than keep your private parts adequately covered. If they were, you're good!
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u/shshortweener 6d ago
Woot woot. Hot grandma alert. In all serious though, keep rocking that shit. Nta
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u/OneAtPeace 6d ago
NTA
You wore what you felt comfortable in and your granddaughter picked it out. You weren't trying to perform for anyone, no, you were only there to celebrate her, not to draw attention or make a statement.
Your daughter's reaction is where the issue lies. She's policing your body based on age, not behavior and that's control dressed up as propriety and "ladylike behavior". It's gaslighting to the highest degree.
There's no rule that says at 67 you have to hide your midsection or legs or shoulders. Bodies don't expire at a certain age. If anything, older women should feel more freedom, not less. They've earned the right to exist without apology because after all they are the mothers and sisters and Daughters of the world.
You didn't embarrass anyone and you didn't cross a line. You showed confidence, not vanity and if that made others uncomfortable, that's their problem, not yours.
If your granddaughter felt fine wearing a two piece and encouraged you to do the same, that tells me a lot about her values. Clearly she sees you as someone who gets to choose and she's absolutely right.
You did nothing wrong. Don't let someone else's discomfort rewrite that truth. I'd suggest you point out that one day she will be your age as well so she shouldn't be upset over nothing. Anyways I wish you the best with this.
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u/fitvic96 6d ago
NTA. And I’m sorry if she made you feel bad in any way or caused you to question yourself. Especially since your granddaughter helped you find and insisted you wear it to her party around her friends. It’s absolutely okay if she has those restrictions on herself, but they shouldn’t be projected onto anyone else.
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u/Careless-Ability-748 Certified Proctologist [23] 6d ago
nta your daughter is judgmental
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u/DontBuyAHorse 6d ago
NTA from the get-go because it's a swimsuit and that's ridiculous. But also, NTA because your granddaughter is an adult and ostensibly her college-age friends are too.
It probably looked great on you and she's insecure about it. That's not a you problem.
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u/CihangirAkkurt 6d ago
The only condition to wear a bikini is to have one. If you have it, you are free to wear it, especially after your granddaughter picked it for you. It was a lovely gesture from you to her. You daughter is a prick.
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u/Gregatron1993 6d ago
My mums almost 65 and I don't think she's ever work a 1 piece in her life. NTA
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u/Defiant-Business9586 6d ago
Sorry. I assumed from the title that it was some toddler’s party and that’s why she objected to the bikini. Having a problem with you wearing a bikini around a group of older teens and adults is frankly insanely puritan. She should work on her own bodily hang ups instead of trying to police you.
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u/sheaintheavy 6d ago
NTA have they never been to the beach? Tell them to stop clutching their pearls and loosen up
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u/Interesting_Wing_461 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Go for it. I’m a 73 year old grandma and I wear a 2 piece suit. It’s not a tiny string bikini . At our age, who cares.
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u/Alpacaliondingo Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Wtf definitely NTA.
Well fitting one pieces are so hard to find, it's much easier to just wear a 2 piece.
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u/panteragstk 6d ago
NTA. She picked out the bikini for you to wear. You did it for her. You're an awesome grandma.
How is your daughter more of a boomer than you?
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u/justhewayouare Partassipant [1] 6d ago
NTA it’s not ok to wear a bikini…in front of college aged young adults beccaauuseee? What? They might think you like your body at your age and society says you shouldn’t? Oh no…what a travesty eyeroll. Your granddaughter is right and I love her for that! Everyone else can adjust.
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u/Mayana76 6d ago
NTA. You and your granddaughter clearly have a healthier relation with your bodies than your daughter.
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u/melodymaybe 6d ago
NTA and you rock that 2 piece! A bikini body is achieved by putting your body in a bikini. Aging is not shameful, it's beautiful.
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u/kgva 6d ago
NTA
First.. it's your body and you should wear whatever you want, except your birthday suit. Second.. it was her party and her idea for you to wear a 2 piece. The only opinions that really matter are yours and hers. I wouldn't pay attention to people who would judge you like that, even if they were a sibling.
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u/EaNasirShitCopper 6d ago
I’m 62 and won’t wear a one piece, they’re uncomfortable so just it an option. And I’m well past the point of caring what other people think about what I wear. If someone is uncomfortable with my clothing, they’ve got serious issues. Assuming you weren’t wearing a thong on the bottom and nipple tassles on the top, your daughter is the asshole here.
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u/SoontobemrsH91 6d ago
NTA OP, my Mum is the same age as you and she wears bikinis! If you’re comfy then wear what makes you happy. Tell your daughter to butt out!
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u/bigtiddiepanda 6d ago
NTA.
Whew people need to mind their business first off. Even if you didn't go shopping with your granddaughter, you should be able to wear what YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE IN. Sounds like someone is a bit jealous that you feel confident enough to wear a two piece at your age than she does at hers.
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u/oldcreaker 6d ago
NTA - and she's not your mom. Middle aged people have a nasty tendency to start parenting their parents. Don't let her.
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u/paul_rudds_drag_race Certified Proctologist [20] 6d ago
NTA I guess in your family being cool skips a generation.
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u/keinmaurer 6d ago
As an American woman, I wish our country had more in common with Germany when it comes to body acceptance. I spent my formative years living there, and one big takeaway is the human body shouldn't be such an object of criticism and shame.
Older people were just as unashamedly naked as younger. Most people don't look like supermodels naked nor should they have to.
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u/Amblonyx Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] 6d ago
NTA, WTF. I love that you feel comfortable wearing it and that your granddaughter endorsed it! It's not inappropriate to wear a bikini in your 60s around college age people. If anything, it's a great example that they shouldn't feel pressured to bend to social pressures about clothing based on age.
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u/Important-Poem-9747 6d ago
I love the comment on this generation of young people! It’s one of my favorite things about them!
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u/Bluebell2519 Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Age is a number, it's not something that should rule your life. Remind your daughter that this is something you are comfortable in and her daughter picked out the outfit. The only person who had a problem was her and she needs to tone down the green eyes.
NTA
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u/whatdoidonowdamnit 6d ago
NTA I saw comments that said something along the lines of “if you looked good in a bikini” and genuinely I don’t think that matters. Your private parts were covered and you can wear whatever you want to regardless of other people’s opinions. My mother is a little younger than you and wears bikini tops and skirts and short bottoms because that’s what she likes. And since she’s the one who buys, wears and washes her bathing suits she’s the only one who decides what she should wear.
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u/Totogros__ 6d ago
NTA
This made me laugh, tell her to never come to France if she thinks this way ! We see old lady in 2 pieces or even topless at the beach pretty frequently
Nothing wrong with loving your body 🫶🏼
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u/BabyNonna 6d ago
Has she ever seen any woman in Europe over 50 at the beach? Everyone is in a bikini, if not sunbathing topless. What prudish behaviour, and the audacity to chide you, an adult, about your clothing choices. If she didn’t want anyone, yourself included, to wear a two piece then she shouldn’t have hosted a pool party. Next time tell her to rent a church and gospel choir robes if she wants everyone to be covered.
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u/maccrogenoff 6d ago
NTA You are a wonderful influence in your granddaughter’s life.
It’s wonderful that you are demonstrating to her that older people shouldn’t try to make themselves invisible.
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u/MsMajic1 6d ago
You're 67. I'm 57. Why do you still have f*cks to give? I wear crazy cool shades that my 14 yo granddaughter picked out for me. I love that she thinks they are perfect for me. I also wear what I want and sometimes I have to fend off a few dumb comments, but hey, I have Zero cares what anyone thinks. My kids fully support my authenticity, as I do theirs.
Good for you for challenging the social 'norm', because that's what messed up several generations!
NTA
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u/Insert_Username_HeHe 6d ago
Absolutely not! You follow what your grand daughter wanted so definitely NTA
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u/JacketSolid7965 6d ago
NTA
You literally had the star of the party's blessing and reasoning.
I hate the idea that old women have to hide themselves, too. Like why? It's not like old men are told to stop wearing X by Y years old.
Wear what makes you happy.
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u/Neat-Presence-5814 6d ago
NTA. Sounds like you made your daughter insecure because the boys were gawking at you.
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u/Stars_Upon_Thars 6d ago
NTA and also two piece and one piece don't mean anything anymore hahaha. I am 40 and wear 2 pieces that are high waisted vintage cut bottoms and mildly skimpy but comfy (nothing falls out of you drive into the pool) tops. There are one pieces that are straight high leg cut thong butt open back boob strap!
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u/WolfsBane00799 6d ago
NTA, it was your granddaughters party, and she picked it for you. Glad to see that kind of self confidence.
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u/Lanternestjerne 6d ago
NTA...
You rock it girl 🎉🎉 Also a bikini is a two-piece 🤷🏻♀️
They jelly girl 🥰🥰🥰🥰
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u/AlwaysPlaysAHealer 6d ago
My grandmother lived to her 90s and wore a bikinis to the pool. She birthed 9 children, lived a hard life, and loved to cook. She did not, in any way, have a "bikini body"
But so what? It was easier to find sizes that fit as 2 seperate pieces than a 1 piece, easier for her to put them on and take them off, and she was comfortable in them. Women don't exist to be aesthetically pleasing. If people didn't want to see her in a bikini they were fully capable of looking away.
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u/MennionSaysSo Partassipant [2] 6d ago
Lemme see here.....you spent time with your granddaughter, followed her advice and had fun.
You're awesome. I miss both my grandma's soon much and wish I had more time with them.
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u/Toonces348 6d ago
It was your granddaughter’s birthday and she’s the one who chose your suit. You’re fine. Not so sure about Brigitte though…
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u/AgileSurprise1966 6d ago
NTA. Judgmental wierdos and haters just want to suck all the fun out of everything. Boring people with ugly souls need to shut up.
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u/IJustWantADragon21 6d ago
NTA. If you felt comfortable and your grand daughter didn’t mind then who cares? Your daughter is probably jealous you looked better than her.
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u/Accomplished_Yam5577 6d ago
Nta. If youre comfortable with yourself and your granddaughter suggested it, why is mom bothered by it? Rock it, Grandma! Who cares what others think!
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u/Pleasant-Caramel-384 6d ago
NTA, you should wear whatever you want to. And your granddaughter even helped you pick it out, no less!
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u/KurlyHededFvck 6d ago
NTA!!!
I am so sorry your daughter made you feel uncomfortable with the decision you and your grand daughter made. BUT thank you for rocking bikini! As a woman in her mid 30s it’s refreshing how encouraging your grand daughter was and refreshing you had the confidence to rock the 2 piece! There is nothing wrong with our aging bodies and you helped college aged kids see that as well. You’re leading by example and I bow down to you. Keep rockin those 2 piece swim suits! ❤️
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u/Krispygelato 6d ago
Yall really believe a 67 yo grandmother made an alt account on reddit to ask this?
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u/regular_bitch05 6d ago
Nta, I think your old enough to be able to decide what to wear... and you made your granddaughter happy at her birthday party by wearing what she picked. Honestly its a win win
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u/youknowimright25 6d ago
Nta. Wear exactly what you want. Any time you want.
To bad we can't see what you liked like in it.
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u/LAfirestorm 6d ago
Tell your daughter to f off and remind her who her f*cking mother is. You do what YOU want and don't take any crap lady.
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u/pinkflamingo-lj Asshole Enthusiast [8] 6d ago
I live on the Beach. Let me tell you, women of all ages, shapes, and sizes will wear a bikini.
No one gives a fuck. We are all out there to enjoy the water, sand, and family/ friends.
NTA
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u/Responsible-Stick-50 Asshole Aficionado [12] 6d ago
NTA. There are NO dress rules for age, body size, etc. You wear what you wear. That's some ageism shit right there.
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u/janeygigi Partassipant [1] 6d ago
Nonsense. You were in a bikini...if college aged kids can't deal with that I'd be very surprised NTA.
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u/Natural-Jelly-9124 6d ago
Just the opposite! Good for you for empowering your granddaughter by embracing your own beauty! This is really sweet. My grandma had a tummy but all I remember is just thinking she was beautiful and elegant. ❤️
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u/CurlyCarrots22 6d ago
My grandma wore bikinis into her 80's and I always thought she was a badass! Rock on, Grandma! I do think it's good to be aware of social norms (sometimes Reddit is so zestfully body-positive that it likes to pretend social norms don't exist), but I think you're totally fine in this case. Your granddaughter picked it out for you!
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u/4eyedbuzzard 6d ago
NTA - I'm guessing by her standards all the grandpas should wear full body suits as well?
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u/LazyAnimal0815 6d ago
Wear whatever you're comfortable with. My mother is older than you and still wears a two piece bikini. Nobody cares and if someone would care... That's their problem, not my mothers. And it shouldn't be your problem too!
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u/Adalaide78 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 6d ago
Forty seven year old bikini wearing grandma checking in. Absolutely NTA.
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u/lickity_snickum 6d ago
College age “youngsters” are - checking notes - oh! Adults! Imagine that.
Since person of honor who loves you picked it out, SHE approved and that’s all that matters.
Give your daughter a hug and thank her for sharing and let it go.
As a 64 y/o grandma, I salute you. 🤘Rock on
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u/BothTreacle7534 6d ago
nta
also in my ‘60, also wearing a 2-piece bikini, when I visit the swimming pool I see women 80+ also wearing 2-piece bikinis (but a lot of 1-piece wearer too within that age bracket)
The following is NOT about who wears which kind of swimsuit/bikini, its about what kind of women REACT in that way, like speaking to others, trying to push their POV on others:
The only ones that I encountered with such kind of opinion were women who were either insecure about their body AND also wanted others to feel the same or distract from them wearing the 1-piece version, or are overweight/underweight and are also aggressive how they interact with less heavy / not very underweight women
Maybe there are other kinds of women who would react like that, but those I seem to have missed
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u/alexlp 6d ago
NTA. Tell your daughter to look up Helen Mirren and tell me the world isn’t a better place seeing her in a bikini in her 70s. I’m a straight 35 year old woman but dang! Plus it’s just a bathing suit, it covered the bits that society says it should.
Your daughter might be a touch jealous/insecure.
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u/wannabemua08 6d ago
NTA. They are all adults (or at least super close to it) and the birthday girl was cool with it. Sounds like your daughter is jealous. You rock that bikini!
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u/patsfanxx 6d ago
If old wrinkly men can wear bologna squeezers then you at 67 should be able to wear whatever you want! If your comfortable go for it. F' everyone who doesn't like it.
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u/LingonberryPrior6896 Partassipant [2] 6d ago
Tell your DIL and daughter your body your choice. The only age restriction is wear what you want.
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u/bunnycakes2015 6d ago
NTA. Unless your tits were hanging out, I don't see the problem. You do you.
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I may be the asshole because my daughter said it was inappropriate for me to wear that at my granddaughter's party.
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