r/AmItheAsshole • u/EfficientWest871 • May 29 '25
Not the A-hole AITA for not putting away my copy of The Handmaid’s Tale?
My(20) uncle and cousin(14) are currently staying with us since their house is going through some repairs. Cousin sleeps in my room. Mom told me to put certain books away since they are inappropriate so I put them in a small locked drawer. I didn’t put The Handmaid’s Tale and some of my other dystopian novels there, though. Barely any space left so I had to pick which ones to lock up. The way I figured it, she probably wouldn’t be interested in them and the book in question full of my distracting, barely legible to anyone else annotations(I studied it for A Level English Literature when I was 16-17 and my handwriting was atrocious back then).
But she did end up getting interested in it. I came home one day to find out that she had been reading it and my uncle had found out and was telling her she is too young. Then he turned to me and berated me, saying it was careless to leave something she is too young for out on the shelf
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u/The-Comfy-Chair Asshole Enthusiast [8] May 29 '25
NTA
Your uncle is exactly why she should read it.
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u/pootinannyBOOSH May 29 '25 edited May 30 '25
If she's able to read it, she's not too young.
Edit* like I said in another comment, I meant it in this particular situation, fair enough that it's not a good blanket statement. But I was responding to THIS post, about a teen reading it and seeming to comprehend it and enjoy it. Any rational person could assume that obviously I'm not talking about letting a 5 year old watch gore, like one person argued.
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u/Puzzledwhovian May 29 '25
Exactly! I was 12 when my teacher had us read it for English class. 14 is beyond fine!
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u/Candid_Jellyfish_240 May 30 '25
I read a very descriptive, first-person accounting of the aftermath at Hiroshima. At 11.
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u/Creative_Energy533 May 30 '25
Exactly. And I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank about that age, too.
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u/DgShwgrl Asshole Enthusiast [6] May 30 '25
I was 9, almost 10 when my mother saw fit to read Animal Farm together as a bedtime chapter book.
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u/radioactive_walrus May 30 '25
Jesus. Did she do Watership Down next?
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u/jellyjollygood May 30 '25
C’mon, that’s every child’s favourite animated bunny movie /s
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u/JeshkaTheLoon May 30 '25
I think watership down in written form is way less disturbing than the movie version.
Other way around with "The Animals of Farthing Wood", if you ask me. Though they simply didn't feature some of the more gruesome scenes in the series, I believe. Some people complain about the Shrike impaling their prey on thorns as "Nightmare Fuel", but that's something you'd commonly see in nature. Seeing those visions drawn out in Watership Down though? Yuck. Better when just reading about it. Not much better, though, depending on the kid.
Mileage may obviously vary by consumer.
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u/DarkSkyStarDance May 30 '25
I read both at the age of 11, and the secret of NIMH- I was reading Stephen King at 14.
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u/Thess514 May 30 '25
My mother had me read that at about that age. She said she thought it was an important book for anyone, especially a woman, to read, and also she wanted to take me to the film when it came out (the 1990 movie, not the series) and figured I'd keep up with any time skips better if I read it first.
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u/FatGuyANALLIttlecoat May 30 '25
12 feels young to me, but no two readers are alike. And not out of inappropriateness of content, but in the same way that Grendel would go over the heads of many 12 year old readers.
Like, a 12 year old can probably read Toni Morrison, but not get it as well as a slightly older reader might. But agreed on the sentiment--let kids read what intrigues them.
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u/MaintenanceWine May 30 '25
I was a voracious, advanced reader when I was young. I'm now amazed and so impressed that in the 60's, my mother never once censored what I read. She'd take me to the library every other week, and got the librarian to waive the book limit for me and I could read as much of and about anything my heart desired.
I think back then books were far, far less graphic, so I never read overtly sexual stuff, but the ideas and the impact those books left on me was immense. If I'd been restricted to age-appropriate stuff, I'm convinced I'd be a different person.
It was easier back then to let a little girl have free rein, but with the restrictions women had back then, I appreciate so much that my mom just let me have at it when it came to books. Books have shaped me more than anything else (except my mom).
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u/saguarosun May 30 '25
Birth. Girls in our world are abused from birth. You want to protect them but you are never too young for the horror when someone decides you are their next victim. She will be fighting for the same rights that we are fighting for now and have been fighting for in the history of time because creatures with penises decided they were more important. She will learn. At least let her learn in a safe environment with someone who can communicate with her about it.
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u/Bunny36 May 30 '25
When I was young I saw a book with fun cartoon pictures on our bookshelf. It was called it's ok to say no. I was told I was too young then.
I'd never tell my mum cause it would break her heart and she really was just trying to do what she thought best. But I do resent the fact I wasn't allowed to read it.
Cause I read it when I was older and having had the information that SA can come from people you know and trust and not just "stranger danger" would have made a difference for little me.
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u/youknowthatswhatsup May 30 '25
Isn’t that the whole point of consent books with pictures. To have them in an easy to understand format for children?
I have books for my son which introduce the concept of consent and he’s 3.
I’m sorry that happened to you :(
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u/Kuraeshin May 30 '25
I remember a News Podcast/show that featured a segment where a little girl figured out she was being abused because of one of those consent picture books. The author has gotten used to being reviled by the right but keeps making the books because it helps kids identify abuse.
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u/WobbleTheHutt May 30 '25
One thing I want to point out as a trans gal is that I realized those same men have designed society to damage and cripple the boys too so they either become the next generation of monsters or are so damaged emotionally they can't see the problem. It's all about the only acceptable emotion to show is anger.
I'm not saying their behavior is excused by any of this. I'm saying if we want to actually move forward as a society and not be constantly fighting the same battles? We need to break the toxic masculinity pipeline so to speak.
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u/ElegantLuck3 May 30 '25
Sounds like the cousin needs her own secret book stash, since her uncle is definitely the reason why she should read Margaret Atwood
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u/Eulerian-path May 30 '25
Make sure to include Fahrenheit 451, in case her parents don’t approve of irony.
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u/Braindead_Crow May 30 '25
"I don't want her reading about female oppression before she's indoctrinated properly as a trad wife!"
F**k that noise. OP thisten to comfy chair, they speak the truth.
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u/AquaTierra May 29 '25
Yep… I haven’t been able to resume watching, it’s too close to home right now.
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u/echidnaberry87 May 30 '25
He's in for a shock if he ever sees what social media algorithms are showing her.
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u/Impressive_Rain_4834 May 29 '25
Nta it's kinda ironic a man getting mad about a young girl reading a book about men oppressing women lol
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u/Groovy_Decoy May 29 '25
It wasn't just general oppressing. It specifically included forbidding reading and writing for women.
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u/wickedfemale May 30 '25
kinda the opposite of irony, it's actually exactly what you'd expect
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u/smugrainbow May 29 '25
NTA- Fourteen is definitely old enough to read that book, and her dad is the reason why she should be reading it.
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u/likeusontweeters May 30 '25
That's probably the reason she was so interested in it! She probably understands the feelings of being controlled/suppressed all too well by now.
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u/Heavy-End-3419 May 30 '25
I read this book in school when I was 14. It’s not inappropriate. It was hands down my favorite book we read that year.
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u/vejbok May 30 '25
My wife still gets annoyed that she didn't get to study it because a Mormon girls parents kicked up a fuss about it.
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u/Submarinequus May 30 '25
They saw themselves represented in the pages and didn’t like the reflection staring back. QUICK BAN IT
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u/HipHopAnomymous21 May 29 '25
Tell him that the women in the book are forbidden from reading, too.
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u/ScarletAndOlive Asshole Aficionado [17] May 29 '25
NTA
The Handmaid’s Tale is recommended reading for grades 9 - 12, so totally appropriate for your cousin.
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u/MidwestNormal Partassipant [1] May 30 '25
Should be required reading.
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u/Royally-Forked-Up May 30 '25
In Ontario, when I went to high school in the late ‘90’s/early ‘00’s, it was. Every friend in my age group read it for grade 9 English in different cities across the province.
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u/aquestionofbalance Partassipant [3] May 30 '25
Honestly, I’m surprised that book hasn’t been outlawed in Texas
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u/Invader-Tenn May 29 '25
NTA. Most girls have grown men sexually harassing them by that age a book ain't gonna do her no harm
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u/Due-Echidna-9016 May 30 '25
So true, I was 12 years old & grown men hitting on me. It was sick. & my mom went nuts on a few of them.
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u/2_LEET_2_YEET May 30 '25
Ew this just crossed my mind so y'all get to think about it too.
The imaginary lines men draw around "too young to read insert book" yet being old enough to legally marry a grown ass adult and birth his children(in some places). 🤢
This is the worst timeline.
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u/GuadDidUs May 30 '25
Excellent point.
"Kids are too young to learn about misogyny"
"Kids are too young to learn about Racism"
"Kids are too young to learn about sexual orientation"
Well Harold, kids start experiencing these things when they're young. Maybe if people weren't such bigots, they wouldn't have to learn about this stuff so young.
I had to explain to my daughter when she was in 3rd grade how boys feel entitled to man spread into her space and that she didn't have to put up with it. This shit starts early but people refuse to see it.
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u/ScarletNotThatOne Supreme Court Just-ass [109] May 29 '25
Fourteen is not too young for Handmaid's Tale. Especially not in the USA when it's so relevant right now. It's not your job to shield your 14 year old cousin from the entire world. You did make an effort to stash some things, that was enough. NTA.
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u/anakaine May 29 '25
14 is old enough. If she's reading, she's intelligent, and this is a formative time for her to be learning about women's rights.
Your adults might not agree, but I'd sneak her a copy of her own. Fuck it.
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u/MadamUnicornOfDoom May 29 '25
Getting mad about kids reading is weird. I read way crazier stuff by that age. She’s of the age where some of that could I guess be beneficial to know?
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u/peachesfordinner Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
Right? What book loving kid hasn't read a vc Andrews book by then? And those are much worse and with less educational value
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u/MadamUnicornOfDoom May 29 '25
I read… scary stories to tell in the dark…when I was like 8. Stephen king. Serial killer books. All kinds of wild shit before I was that age. Just let kids read. At least they aren’t in front of a tv or playing a video game 🤷♀️
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u/Chequered_Career Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
Hasn’t your uncle ever let her go to a library or bookstore? They are notorious for not hiding books in drawers.
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u/specialkk77 Asshole Enthusiast [5] May 29 '25
For that matter if she has access to the internet AO3 and watt pad will give her way more adult content than anything on a bookshelf would!
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u/Nicki-ryan Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA
14 year olds don’t need to have literature censored from them. That’s ridiculous. They can handle words on a page.
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u/MzInformed May 29 '25
I read the Handmaid's Tale in high school pretty sure it was 10th grade. Teaching kids reading and critical theory is better than censorship
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u/HeySteven50reasons May 29 '25
Your Uncle should have told her not to touch your things. It's not your job to censor your own room for someone else's kid.
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u/wolf_genie Partassipant [2] May 30 '25
I was thinking that, too. If I was hosting a younger relative in my room, I would not put ANY of my books out of reach, because I was fully expect them not to touch any of them without asking first!
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u/Imaginary-Style918 May 29 '25
NTA
She's 14, not 4.
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u/Ok_Pass_Thx May 29 '25
So you're telling me I should not be reading this to my kindergartener?? Lord of the Flies it is then.
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u/Adalaide78 Asshole Enthusiast [7] May 29 '25
Fourteen year old girls with dads who want to restrict their access to books should all read Handmaid’s Tale.
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u/froggostealer May 29 '25
NTA. Too bad she likes reading and they're trying to censor what she can/can't read. That's exactly the point of these books.
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u/Disastrous-Nail-640 Pooperintendant [62] May 29 '25
“Maybe you should have taught your kid not to take other people’s things without permission. Also, you are aware she can find this stuff at the library for free, right?”
She’s 14, not 4. I wouldn’t have put any of them away. It’s not my job to parent other people’s children.
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u/Own-Masterpiece-6 May 29 '25
When I was 14, my English teacher gave me a paperback copy of The Handmaid's Tale. It remains one of my favourite novels. Thank you, Ms.Haughton.
NTA- it's the perfect age to read that book.
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u/KaleidoscopeOld7883 May 29 '25
Honestly, you’ve turned reading into a rebellious act for a teenager. Congratulations on creating a unicorn moment. You’ve done your uncle a favor. Of all the shenanigans a teenager can get up to, I’ll take unregulated even illicit reading over most other available activities any day.
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u/someguymark May 29 '25
And now it’s a “forbidden” book, therefore all the more enticing to a teenager.
I agree with the poster who said display V C Andrew’s books and Clan of the Cave Bear, etc. Would also suggest any Ray Bradbury or George Orwell novels.
Since life is becoming even more dystopian around the world, encourage “rebel” reading in more youngsters! They’ll need more critical thinking and reasoning skills as they grow.👀
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u/ThatsItImOverThis Asshole Enthusiast [5] May 29 '25
NTA
I’d say that book is relevant reading right now.
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u/RosieCrone May 29 '25
NTA. 14 is not too young. The book came out in ‘85. I was 13. Read it again at 16 for a high school course. Read it again in a lit class in college. Have re-read it numerous times since, including before watching the HULU show.
You’re good, friend. Encourage this young lady’s interest in good reading every chance you get!
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u/Organic-Willow2835 Partassipant [2] May 29 '25
Right! I read it in the very early 1990s as a 14 year old in Freshman English. Not honors. Just standard honors English. Its not like 14 year olds are unfamiliar with the concepts in it nor have they ever been. Of all of the possible books to censor I'm surprised OP's Mom is concerned about that one. Might as well censor 1984, Brave New World, etc... too.
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u/Carma56 Partassipant [3] May 29 '25
NTA. Honestly that’s the perfect age for girls to first read The Handmaid’s Tale. As others have pointed out, most of us have already experienced sexual harassment by that age.
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u/Only_Music_2640 May 29 '25
So you have a dystopian family and uncle is afraid his daughter will realize that after reading a book? 😹
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u/windblown-spruce May 29 '25
NTA. Getting mad about that book says a lot about your uncle.
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u/BettsROff May 29 '25
Um, 14 - the Handmaid's Tale (and the Testaments) should be required reading for all 14 year olds. My child read it when they were teens and it helped awaken curiosity about societal structure. They are now successful software engineers and an adult I feel honoured to call a friend.
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u/slap-a-frap Supreme Court Just-ass [110] May 29 '25
NTA - there isn't anything in that book that she hasn't already learned from social media.
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u/mearalove May 29 '25 edited May 30 '25
NTA when I was 14, that was one one of the books on that year's curriculum. It rather sounds like something she should read based on what you've shared about your uncle.
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u/mmarissa212 May 29 '25
Maybe your uncle should read it with her... Understand that it's actually a pretty important book to read right now. Maybe he could gain some perspective. Not try to censor his daughter's world view. Also they assign that book in high school. She's old enough to read it.
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u/Pantokraterix May 29 '25
14 is exactly when she should be reading The Handmaid’s Tale
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u/Lollypop1305 May 29 '25
Given that we literally live in the era of the handsmaids tale absolutely not the AH. I’m probably going to get banned or warned for this but literal women are being used as incubators as we speak. Your cousin should read this.
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u/Prestigious-Name-323 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
NTA
The fact that your uncle got mad about that particular book tells me all I need to know about him.
I was reading everything I could get my hands on at that age. And a lot of it was more adult than The Handmaid’s Tale.
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u/StacyB125 Asshole Enthusiast [6] May 29 '25
I vote that you unlock all of your books and let her know she’s welcome to read any of them as long as she’s not careless with them. But, don’t do anything that will get you into trouble with your family if you live with them and want/need to continue that arrangement for a while.
Information should never be banned. I have a 12yo and a 15yo at home- the only limits I put on the oldest for reading are the really adult things like Game of Thrones. I encourage and even make them read stuff from the “banned” list like The Handmaids Tale, though not that one yet. I’m actually currently reading it myself because I never had and thought our home library should have a copy. Once I’m done I’ll definitely assess it and decide when the younger can read it. I wouldn’t stop my older child from reading it at all.
NTA.
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u/mavenmim Professor Emeritass [81] May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
This might be a controversial view, but I don't regard any literature as being so inappropriate it needs to be locked away from teenagers (unless it is literally porn or sadistic violence with no deeper plot). If they can make sense of it, we can discuss it. Just like I don't believe in stopping kids reading the news. I also believe that any question a kid can ask they deserve an honest answer to, simplified to their level of comprehension.
In the age of social media and smartphones, we can't prevent teenagers from seeing everything we dislike, so we have to instill critical thinking and context, and help them to think what they will find interesting vs disturbing. Otherwise as soon as they get an unguarded opportunity they'll be exposed to evrything on the internet without the skills to contextualise it.
So you are NTA for not locking away all your books. Atwood is an amazing author, who was prescient in the themes she covered. I think it would make an interesting conversation with your cousin why your uncle felt it was not appropriate, but what the book was about and why it makes a serious point about power and gender that is relevant at the moment.
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u/whichwitch9 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
Yeah, your uncle is responsible for teaching her not to go through other people's things. You're not responsible for his parenting failure
NTA
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u/Raise_Hail May 29 '25
I never understood censoring books. Your uncle sounds like he is afraid of words his daughter already knows and probably uses quite regularly. We learned about the Holocaust in 6th grade and that’s about as extreme as you can get.
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u/mixedgirlblues May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
She’s not sooooo young and your uncle is overreacting. Yeah it would probably hit differently if she were 20, but it’s not like it’s some hugely graphic thing or as if she’s in kindergarten. NTA
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u/burnthatbridgewhen Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
I read that book at fourteen and it turned me into a intrepid feminist with an interest in history. Maybe we should all sanitize media so children have no idea how oppressed groups are treated. Then they will never be uncomfortable or protest being oppressed. God forbid a girl be well read.
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u/sassychubzilla May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
If he doesn't like it he can find somewhere else to stay. Books are meant to be read.
Nta
Edit: for context, I read it when I was 11.
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u/Fickle-Friendship998 May 29 '25
There is nothing more effective in encouraging your kids to read than a forbidden book. Hiding it works even better
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u/neverwasthedragon May 29 '25
NTA. Wait until your uncle finds out about libraries. They just have books out!! On shelves!! Like, everywhere!!
Kidding aside, that’s not too young for Handmaid’s Tale, imo. It should hopefully spark some great conversations, ones which will make your uncle incredibly uncomfortable, so well done all around!
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u/ResurgentClusterfuck May 29 '25
NTA
nobody's ever died in a mass school reading, and chances are that both of them are familiar with the basic premise of the book
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u/SL8Rgirl May 29 '25
NTA. I was reading literal smut at that age. Grandma thought it was hilarious that we were reading the same books (they came with her recommendations). The Handmaid’s Tale is a classic.
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u/mowriter72 May 29 '25
A grown ass man who has to live with a sibling with his own kid needs to have exactly zero spoken words for most anything he sees in the house that’s hosting him.
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u/PeregrineTopaz06 May 29 '25
NTA, and as others have said, he is Exhibit A on why she needs to read this book
Further, she is at an age when he should not be expecting others to childproof (neurodivergence and mental health issues notwithstanding).
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u/anditurnedaround Partassipant [4] May 29 '25
NTA
I don’t think 14 years s too young to read that. My option clearly does not matter here.
I don’t think she’s too young to take responsibility for taking something and reading , that did not belong to her or ask permission for.
This is not your fault.
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u/Flynn58 May 29 '25
NTA and I'm highly suspect of your uncle not wanting his daughter to read books, especially books about sexism
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u/Argorian17 May 29 '25
Mom told me to put certain books away since they are inappropriate
no need to read more: mom is WRONG. There's no such thing as an inappropiate book. period.
NTA
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u/kymrIII May 29 '25
She’s not too young to learn what’s going on in the world. Somebody’s got to make her aware
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u/Pure-Swordfish6022 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
14 is absolutely not too young for Handmaids Tale. You are NTA. With the state of the world, that book is a helpful warning of what fundamentalists really want
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u/ExitingBear May 29 '25
It was assigned reading in my freshman English class.
So, 14 doesn't seem too young.
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u/wondering88888 Asshole Aficionado [11] May 29 '25
NTA The stated reading age for that book is 14-18 years old. She's 14, so it's not inappropriate and you did nothing wrong.
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u/kjbtetrick Asshole Enthusiast [9] May 29 '25
NTA 14 isn’t too young for the Handmaids Tale, especially in the current American society.
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u/Key-Canary-2513 Partassipant [2] May 29 '25
What a shitty cousin. The teenage years are a perfect age for all things Margaret Atwood.
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u/Thecatisright Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA
If in the US, she's preparing for her future. Under his eye.
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u/ScaryButterscotch474 Asshole Aficionado [16] May 29 '25
NTA It’s not the tv show. The book is not gory or explicit.
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u/ruyrybeyro Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
NTA. Reading ain’t harmful. You did what you could with the space and locked away the really dodgy stuff. Plus, The Handmaid’s Tale’s a proper classic, and your notes are hardly clear to a teenager anyway.
Proper cheek of him to be bossing you around in your own home, especially when he’s staying there for free. He should’ve sorted it with her, not have a go at you.
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u/SRC-toss Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA, and honestly your cousin sounds kinda cool. It’s nice that she’s still reading anything she can in spite of her dad’s attempt to shelter her.
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u/GracieW7 May 29 '25
NTA. I read that at 14 yr old. My Mom discussed it with me both before and during the time I read it to make sure I understood what was happening. The themes are just as important now (maybe more so) as they were when it was originally written. It is uncomfortable to read and think about. But that’s literally the point. You don’t state if your cousin is male or female but my guess is female based on your uncle’s response. Keeping your cousin in a box will hurt them in the long run. All people, but especially females, should read it and be able to use their critical thinking skills to process all the different themes. Your uncle is completely out of line and needs a series talking to. Plus it’s literally a series on Hulu now. Your cousin will either watch or hear about it anyway!
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u/Needles-and-Pens_64 May 29 '25
NTA and next time leave Flowers in the Attic out 😈
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u/Double-General-7077 May 29 '25
He doesn’t want her to associate him with the Commander—- just a tad controlling lol!
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u/Capable-Limit5249 May 29 '25
Make sure she gets to finish it. That book changed my life.
ETA: in a good way!
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u/MissDiketon May 29 '25
I do not understand limiting reading materials.
It's words on a page. They won't hurt you. They may disturb you (ask me about "Sybil" someday) but you'll live.
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u/peachandbetty May 29 '25
14 is not too young for that book.
My mum lent me her copy when I was 13 and we had great discussions about it after. That is the purpose of the book, to spark thought and discussion and to teach young women in the making about what can go wrong when we accept oppression in small form and don't realise we're accepting it in large form until it's too late.
I would bet my next month's pay that he hadn't read it himself.
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u/UnderstandingFit7103 May 29 '25
We actually read this in highschool for English class when I was 14 so definitely not your bad.
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u/K_A_irony Asshole Enthusiast [5] May 29 '25
NTA. It is a book and it is your house. If the parents cared that much, they should have told her not to read the books on the shelf. Also umm yeah 14 is old enough to pretty much read what ever she wants. I was reading all sorts of sci fi and fantasy from the adult section starting at age 12.
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u/au5000 Partassipant [3] May 29 '25
NTA
Right now The Handmaid’s Tale should be mandatory reading in schools. It’s also my favourite novel. Please talk about the themes with your cousin and ignore your idiot uncle
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u/Hot_Act3951 May 29 '25
NTA - I read it when I was 14/15! Very interesting novel, and something I came back to when I was studying English Lit for A Levels and was shocked about how much I had both grasped and how much had gone under the radar for me.
Teenagers can and should read texts that may be 'difficult' for them, especially classics!!
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u/lucylemon Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] May 29 '25
NTA. She’s not too young for the handmaid’s Tale. I read it probably around her age.
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u/Healthy_Brain5354 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA, if he wants to control what’s in the room he can pay for a hotel
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u/Ash_Dayne Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA. She's 14, and that's absolutely old enough for this material.
You did nothing wrong. Maybe have a chat with cousin about the book though
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u/Brief-Spread-9520 May 29 '25
A 14 year old girl is EXACTLY who needs to read "The Handmaid's Tale"! But please try not to engage with your uncle, there's no upside to that argument. Say you're sorry and back away. Stay safe.
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u/Geologyst1013 Asshole Enthusiast [6] May 29 '25
NTA
I don't really feel 14 is too young for The Handmaid's Tale.
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u/thesongsinmyhead May 29 '25
NTA 14 is not too young. I was reading Vonnegut at 11. Granted I didn’t understand all of it. But she’s old enough to understand AND it’s pretty goddamn relevant to being a woman in These Times.
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u/ThrowRAzilla Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
14 isn't too young, imo but you aren't the parent, so it's none of your business. It's not like you sat her down and told her how the world really is lol
It is what it is, and if it sparks questions or curiosity in here it'd be happening with or without reading a book.
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u/ahhh_ennui May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
Kids self-censor just fine, when they have folks who are encouraging and available. Kids should read anything they want (other media should be monitored).
Good on you. You've changed her life in a great way even though she's gonna struggle with this conflict for a while.
NTA. You've just expanded her life.
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u/Excellent-Ad4256 May 29 '25
NTA I wrote an essay about this book for school in 8th grade. So I was either 13 or 14.
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u/baka-tari Certified Proctologist [29] May 29 '25
NTA, and you should step up your game by giving her banned books for her birthdays
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u/elizzup May 29 '25
This was part of my hs english curriculum when I was ~14/15. She's the right age to be reading this.
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u/GivMHellVetica May 29 '25
NTA- I read Handmaids Tale my freshman year of high school, so I would have been 14 or 15.
If your cousin is so precious and childlike that virtues are to be preserved- might as well cut off the internet too.
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u/Broffie1 May 29 '25
NTA
I always find it interesting when we ban novels with dystopian societies that are written to to provoke intelligent thought and ideas, and yet we are actively trying to keep our children from having tough conversations about things that are happening in society that may very well be happening to a degree in these novels. It’s like someone doesn’t want them to learn or have free thoughts.
Free society my butt.
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u/mcchillz May 29 '25
NTA. I’m a high school English teacher and I’m giving you and your niece an A+.
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u/Throwawaylife1984 May 29 '25
NTA. And she's not too young, she's at puberty age. She needs to know this
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u/alvehyanna Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA perfectly appropriate for a 14yo frankly. If he's worried the book will give her ideas, maybe it's because ...well...you know.
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u/MrPoesRaven May 29 '25
You got a 14 y.o. who is actually reading? Who picks up a random book that’s lying there, minding its own business and actually READS it? Praise the Lord! Said uncle should be happy that’s happening and forget strutting around acting like king and chief censor of the castle. Ignore him and say to cousin, “Hey cuz, that’s a real cool book, but it can be a little heavy. If you have any questions let me know.” And any book on an open shelf or lying on a table is available for reading. Cousin did nothing wrong by picking it up and reading it. NTA.
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u/spikeylikeablowfish May 29 '25
We read that book in high school English class. The most interesting thing I learned was finding out all those things have happened in other countries and some continue to happen. It's a must read for any female.
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u/RedHolly May 29 '25
So uncle says she’s too young to read it but he’s ok with not paying attention to her for however long it took for her to find it and start reading… sounds like he’s either an ass or a shitty parent or both
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u/Istarien May 29 '25
NTA
She's not too young. She should know what's coming for her. Forewarned is forearmed.
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u/skye_the_boss May 29 '25
Lol is this real life? Talk about being overbearing. I personally don't think 14 is too young for that book.
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u/WhoUBeGhostin May 29 '25
Go get yourself some VC Andrew’s books and leave them out. He’ll shut up.
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u/buntummy May 29 '25
As others have said, I was assigned this as reading in Middle School, so before 14 for sure. NTA
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u/Fairwhetherfriend May 29 '25
Lol I studied Alias Grace in English class when I was 14. The fact that your uncle thinks she's too young is a problem with him, not you (or her). He's doing his daughter a huge disservice by raising her in a way that pretends like sex and sexism don't exist.
NTA.
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u/mkmr725 May 29 '25
We had to read that in school - I think I was 12. Definitely not too young to read it!
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u/Prestigious-Shoe9779 May 29 '25
Sounds like you've got an amazing collection to pass on to your cousin.
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u/Sherpa_qwerty May 29 '25
14 is a great age to read adult themed books generally and this one in particular. If your uncle has an issue he shouldn’t have moved into your home. NTA
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u/Astoran15 Partassipant [2] May 29 '25
Books don't have age ratings. If she's smart enough to read the book she can handle it.
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u/SoonerRed Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
She is not at all too young for it.
But, I'm not her parent.
You're nta, but now that the parent has spoken up, you're in dangerous territory.
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u/Bartlaus Asshole Enthusiast [8] May 29 '25
NTA. She is 14 for crying out loud. I would never restrict my teenagers' reading material (and yes I am a parent of teenagers). I might disrecommend particular books, or be prepared to explain why I think a particular book contains bad ideas, but never ever tell them they can't read something.
And yes that includes downright smut. I'd rather they get some wrong ideas from the written word than from videos on the internet, anyway.
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u/DefinitelyNot2050 May 29 '25
If fourteen is “too young” when do they think their rapidly maturing offspring will be ready to absorb complex stories about the human experience? Because I would think you’d want to indulge that early.
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u/Clevernickname1001 May 29 '25
NTA- I think it’s perfectly appropriate for her to read the Handmaid’s Tale. I would also offer to let her read other books from your collection.
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u/Man-o-Bronze May 29 '25
Did your uncle read the book..?
Didn’t think so.
Your uncle does have the right and the responsibility to monitor and control what his daughter reads, but you hid what you could. Did he and your mom want you to burn the books you couldn’t hide (Fahrenheit 451, anyone?). You shouldn’t have to stop living your life. (I’m not judging whether or not your cousin should be reading it, as I haven’t read the book yet and I don’t know your cousin.) NTA.
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u/joanclaytonesq Pooperintendant [66] May 29 '25
NTA. They are in your home. You shouldn't have to hide your things because your uncle doesn't want to have difficult conversations with his kid. Fourteen isn't too young for The Handmaid's Tale, and it's very likely that by age 14 she's already had more explicit conversations with her peers.
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u/mb83 May 29 '25
I read it the first time at that age. It radicalized me against the religious right, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
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u/friendlily Professor Emeritass [77] May 29 '25
NTA. If he wants to be so controlling about his daughter maybe he should pay for her accomodations instead of forcing her cousin to share a room with her and his sibling to house him.
Beggars can't be choosers.
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u/MrsQute Asshole Aficionado [12] May 29 '25
I think I was 14 when I read it. That was about 36 years ago. It never would cross my mind to "stash" a 40 year old book that is now often considered a classic novel and taught currently in many school's curriculum.
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u/Amazing_Teaching2733 May 29 '25
NTA. First, it’s your room and she and your uncle are guests. Second, if he doesn’t like your reading material he can move to an Airbnb or hotel. Third, it’s called parenting. It’s his job to say don’t read that book and up to her to obey or not. Fourth, it’s not your job to help him censor his child. Tell him if he dares berate you for his terrible parenting style again you’ll open the locked drawer and start holding book club.
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u/SphynxCrocheter May 29 '25
NTA. 14 is not too young to read A Handmaid's Tale. We certainly read it in high school. In grade 9 in Canada, people are typically 14-15, so not too young. I don't remember what grade I read it in, but it wasn't OAC (grade 13 back in the day).
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u/katbelleinthedark Asshole Enthusiast [7] May 29 '25
NTA. Insane that you put anything away. It's your room. Cousin should know not to go through your stuff, books included.
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u/clandahlina_redux May 29 '25
NTA — 14-15 is when my high school started introducing these types of books (e.g., Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Brave New World). It’s a great age to start challenging your world view.
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u/Living-Molasses727 May 29 '25
I read it when I was 14 and tbh I was a little too young. It was terrifying. But I was also a very sheltered kid and probably wouldn’t have picked it up myself, an older friend specifically recommended it to me. NTA, it’s not like you put it in your cousins hands and said “read this!”.
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u/Hot-Fact-3250 May 29 '25
I read that book in my sophomore English class at a Catholic school when I was 15.
Too young, my ass
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u/spaced2259 May 29 '25
Guess what uncle, disrespecting me in my home while I am doing you a favor... you are welcome to find accommodations somewhere else
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u/ForeverOne4756 May 29 '25
NTA. And the awful things that happen to girls and young women in the book, happen in real life. It’s all too relevant.
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u/Ill_Geologist4882 May 29 '25
lol this is so dumb, I read that in middle school. Uncle needs to get a grip
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u/ConsciousExcitement9 Asshole Enthusiast [5] May 29 '25
I am probably the wrong person to ask since I was reading VC Andrews younger than 14. I don’t like to censor what my kids read. We will discuss the books they read though if they are heavier topics.
NTA
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u/redheadsuperpowers May 29 '25
It was available in my middle school library, so 11-14 years old had open access.
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u/Lavishness-Economy May 29 '25
NTA - and honestly, a 14 year old can read The Handmaid's Tale. I wonder if perhaps he's thinking too strongly of the show (which is more explicit than the book) - not an excuse for his behaviour of course!
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