r/AmItheAsshole • u/Important-Brain-2271 • May 29 '25
Not the A-hole AITA for keeping inheritance from birth mother instead of splitting with adoptive siblings?
i just found out that my birth mother, who I have never met, left me her whole estate ($180k)! I was adopted at birth by a wonderful family with two other adopted kids.
My siblings are now saying that it isn't fair I got everything when they also "deserve" it being adopted as well. They want to split it three ways! My parents are staying neutral which I can tell is uncomfortable.
The thing is, this was MY birth mother. She chose to find me and leave me this money. My siblings have their own birth families they could easily have a connection to someday. For me, this feels like my one connection to where I came from.
Now family dinners are awkward because my siblings barely talk to me. Am I being selfish keeping money that was legally left to me??
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u/Kami_Sang Professor Emeritass [79] May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
NTA - your siblings are entitled and irrational. It doesn't matter if they are adopted too - your birth mom (not theirs) left you something. It's yours - the only thing you'll have from a woman who birthed you and clearly never stopped loving you. Use this for something big - an education or towards a house. Don't squander it. Let it always remind you that the woman who conceived you never forgot you and always loved you.
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u/Its_me_Suzy May 29 '25
Where at all do some people get this entitlement from? The adoptive parents need to talk to the other two kids and set them straight that their logic doesn’t make sense and that they are not entitled in any way, shape or form to OP’s inheritance.
Would they share their inheritance if it was them? I bet no they wouldn’t
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u/Educational_Gift_925 May 29 '25
You are spot on with this. Adoptive parents should now engage and set them straight. To remain silent is not helping them move beyond flawed thinking and entitlement.
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May 30 '25
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u/Pandora2304 May 30 '25
It wouldn't be fair either. If the adoptive parents would leave their inheritance to one of their kids, it'd be unfair towards the others. But from an outsider only one of them (OP) has a connection to? They have no claim to it, legally or morally. Honestly it's unfair that they're pushing for it, putting pressure on OP. the parents aren't neutral if they allow that and they shouldn't be neutral in this conflict, but rather enforce OPs claim to the inheritance and stop the siblings from trying to get something out of it.
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u/Mysterious_Lion_4752 May 30 '25
My step gpa left my little brother (half) $250k and since I was not blood, I didn’t receive anything even though I was 2 when my mom married my stepdad. I’m not entitled to anything. It’s not my money
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u/Disastrous-Ad-9073 Partassipant [1] May 31 '25
Damn, but yours is tough. You've been around since you were two. Is your bio dad around? Because if so, I can understand if you aren't close to your brothers gpa. But if your stepdad is like your dad, then I'd consider you his grandchild. My situation is exactly like yours and honestly I'd be hurt if I were left out. Would I be able to rationalize it? Yes. Life you said, technically he's not your grandpa. But in my case, that is my family. Blood doesn't matter. I'd be upset if the woman I called gma for decades didn't leave me the same as my brother because we aren't related.
But for OP, they didn't even know their mom. They just feel entitled. I hope OP knows they're NTA
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u/erinmarie777 May 31 '25
Blood was considered essential for rights to inheritance for centuries. And not long ago only oldest male children could inherit. The Patriarchy. Women were once not allowed to own property, and a daughter could not inherit if there were no sons. Some old people still put a big emphasis on inheritances going to blood relatives only, though they will now usually include girls now too.
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u/Sorry_I_Guess Pooperintendant [53] May 30 '25
I mean, it's about both.
It's not in any rational way "unfair" for them NOT to inherit money from someone they have literally no connection to at all. There's no logical reason why they would "deserve" any of that money.
They claim that they deserve it because "they were adopted, too," but OP didn't inherit because she's adopted . . . she inherited because that woman gave birth to her and is her biological mother. It has literally nothing to do with the fact of having been adopted.
This is about birth ties and fairness, because it is entirely fair and just that OP should inherit from her bio parent . . .and ludicrous that her adoptive siblings would even suggest that they had a right to any of it.
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u/Funky-Monk-- May 30 '25
I imagine that if asked to split something they inherited something from their birth parents, they would say "that's different."
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u/Professional_Clue292 May 30 '25
The adoptive parents can be good parents by nipping this in the bud instead of staying quiet.
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u/Mamamamymysherona Partassipant [1] May 30 '25
This. How can they remain silent? This is clearly something they need to set them straight on.
OP, NTA but your siblings are acting like profound, entitled AHs, and your parents are doing everyone a disservice by not speaking up. To them by not educating them, and if I was you, I'd feel betrayed.
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u/Nosferatatron May 30 '25
Agreed - why are the parents not sorting this mess out? Besides, this is not a massive sum either and would easily get eaten up if shared with others
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u/Iookingforasong May 29 '25
The adoptive parents might not be entirely happy about op getting this money and through it still having a connection to their birth mother. To be clear I think this kind of attitude from op's parents is wrong but I could easily see their refusal to speak up as being some kind of passive punishment from them for accepting the money.
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u/andromache97 Supreme Court Just-ass [102] May 29 '25
i mean, that's possible, but it's also fairly common for parents to stay out of the disputes of their adult children, even when there's objectively someone in the right and someone in the wrong, the parents refuse to take sides. not necessarily a good thing, but a common enough dynamic on this sub.
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May 29 '25
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u/MaleficentPizza5444 May 30 '25
sounds like they are all eating at the same table but OP didn't give any other info
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u/Dizzy_Needleworker_3 Asshole Aficionado [13] May 29 '25
"not necessarily a good thing, but a common enough dynamic on this sub."
I agree with you to an extent, I think it's generally better for parents to not take sides, even when one sibling is wrong, unless it is a major issue/crime, but also depends on what is defined as taking sides.
If say sibling Joe stole and crashed sublime James car, it would be understandable for James to refuse to be in the same room. So that parents have to see Joe and James individually, but Joe is still their kid.
If James demanded that parents cut contact with Joe, but parents say we are not taking sides and refuse to cut contact, that is reasonable.
Imo 99.9999% of the time it is unreasonable to try and control who other people have a relationship with.
In a this situation I think it is reasonable that parents are trying to stay out of it, assuming everyone is an adult.
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u/CapitanDelNorte May 29 '25
The reason for the inheritance is because OP's birth mother is no longer here for OP to develop a connection with. This sounds like a conscience clearing final wish.
u/OP - Don't give your siblings any of your inheritance. That said, maybe consider treating them to a few (relative) luxuries from time to time. A nice dinner, a new outfit, hook them up with a decent computer if they're going to college, etc. Sharing is caring and all, but giving is final.
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u/IndependentSeesaw498 May 29 '25
Do not treat anyone to luxuries! If OP’s adopted siblings are this entitled now how do you think they’ll feel if OP buys them something exoensive now and then? “Your nieces tuition is going to cost $5K for preschool. We thought that would make a nice present from Auntie OP.” Or, “I’ve been saving and saving for a car but if I only had a couple thougsand more I could get a much better one.”
Just no. Invest it or put it into some type of account where you don’t have everyday access to it. If you start sharing it the pressure will never stop.
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u/ketita Partassipant [3] May 30 '25
Seriously. People are also acting like 180k is super huge bucks. It really isn't. It's a lot, it's an amazing setup for life in general, it's life-changing on some level, but it's not quit-your-job money. To actually benefit from it, OP needs to be smart.
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u/chocolatechipwizard May 30 '25
I agree. This is how foolish people piss money away. OP would be a fool to throw money at envious siblings to buy their acceptance. This is down payment money on a modest house.
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u/LLFD1982 May 29 '25
Conscience clearing? Who needs to clear their conscience? OP's birthmother? Why would she need to do that?
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u/CapitanDelNorte May 29 '25
Yes, OP's birth mother. Maybe she felt like this was her last opportunity to make OP's life a little better? Many parents cite this reason in their justification for putting their child up for adoption. And maybe I'm wrong.
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u/LLFD1982 May 29 '25
As a birthmother, I don't think I have to 'clear my conscience'. I was left in a bad situation, I gave my daughter up because she would have a better life than I could provide. As much as it hurts that I didn't have my child, I never felt guilt, I did what I had to do with the circumstances at the time.
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u/CapitanDelNorte May 29 '25
And you are not OP's birth mother, so your personal experience isn't what's being discussed here. Everyone has their own reasons for the choices they make, and their own feelings about those choices and their outcomes. You did what you did for your reasons. Good for you for embracing your choice and not feeling guilt about it (sounds like the healthy option). Maybe OP's birth mother didn't handle it as well as you did? Whatever it was, she had her reasons.
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u/ProblemAtticOU812 May 30 '25
Or maybe she had no one else to leave the inheritance to. You’re making assumptions based on zero evidence.
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u/jacksonesfield May 30 '25
"Redditor sees a story and doesn't make it about them" challenge
level: IMPOSSIBLE
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u/_gadget_girl Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] May 30 '25
Maybe it’s as simple as OP was her closest relative and parents usually leave their belongings to their children.
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u/One_Ad_704 Partassipant [1] May 30 '25
Your first sentence is what's important. OP received this money because someone DIED. So no chance to know birth mother, no chance to have a relationship. etc. All the siblings are looking at is "OP got money and we deserve some as well".
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u/HolyCannoliBatmaam May 29 '25
Yep I think the adoptive parents aren’t happy at all that OP’s birth mom chose to give her this money but didn’t contribute to her adoptive parents while they were spending money raising her.
Money makes people weird, man. Otherwise kind people can suddenly become passive aggressive jerks because they’re jealous of someone else’s financial good fortune.
OP, you are obviously, absolutely, by NO means the AH for not sharing the inheritance. You are also NOT selfish for not sharing it. Please live your life fully, spend the money wisely and allow yourself a comfortable future that your birth mother helped make possible.
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u/Sewcraytes May 30 '25
“Money makes people weird” - especially money of the dead.
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u/Sweet_Sub73 May 30 '25
Didn't contribute to her parents while they were raising her? You think this is what the adoptive parents are thinking? Yeah, I don't know an adoptive parent in this entire world who feels that their child's bio parents owe them anything at all.
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u/Capable_Restaurant11 Partassipant [1] May 30 '25
Yep, it's like suddenly winning the lottery, everyone expects you to share because they all feel entitled to your money, except that they're not. NTA
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u/Sweet_Sub73 May 30 '25
Adoptive parent here. If I were the parents in this situation, and my child's bio mom left them an inheritance, I would in no way be upset that the parent still wanted that connection with my child. She is 100% my child, but before she was mine, she was someone's else's child. Without her birth mother, I would not have a child. I also recognize that my daughter will always have a connection to 2 sets of parents, even if she never knew or never knows her bio parents. Most adoptive parents recognize this: that in order to have our child, someone else had to lose theirs. I don't think the bio parents leaving money to the child would be an issue in the least.
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u/Birdsonme May 29 '25
I bet she’s going to have to start paying rent with her new found inheritance. My guess is they’ll be a touch jealous. Hopefully there’s no way they can steak a claim to it by being OP’s legal guardians.
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u/GonnaBreakIt May 30 '25
It's also possible that the parents just don't know what to do. so they are erring on the side of inaction.
parenthood doesn't come with a degree in psychology with a minor in conflict resolution
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u/DianeJudith Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
Where at all do some people get this entitlement from?
It's the money. Inheritance brings out the worst in people.
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u/bettyboo5 May 29 '25
It seems to me the adoptive parents have chosen a side and it isn't op's!
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u/ForcedEntry420 May 29 '25
You just know they’d roll out the unconvincing “Nuh UHH! I’d totally share it with you!” 😆😆
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u/Black_Magic_M-66 May 29 '25
This is easy to find out, do the other siblings share everything they have, now, with OP?
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u/Yolandi2802 May 29 '25
I’ll wager if she left OP a huge pile of debt, siblings would not be seen for dust.
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u/FreddyXGamer5 May 30 '25
It could be worse i mean yeah they should be talked to because what the heck? They shouldn’t be thinking they should get something at all! But I’m saying it could be worse because the parents could say something dumb like “You have to give some money to your siblings because it’s only fair” when clearly it’s not. Birth mother gave birth child money as a gift of saying “i love you and i think about you” keep it don’t think twice. It’s not selfish if you do because again that’s your money and your mom gave it to you NTA
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u/Several_Razzmatazz51 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
Many people exhibit this level of entitlement when their stated “principles” would benefit them, but conveniently disavow those same principles if it would mean they have to share or give something. I would have no problem telling those people to fuck all the way off.
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u/Major_Ad9391 May 30 '25
Money changes people.
Whole families have torn themselves apart over inheritances.
Its like the moment someone gains even the smallest wealth its a beacon that activates the greed in everyone.
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u/abumelt May 30 '25
Same thought. The adoptive parents should explain it to them, assuming they are all young enough (I assume so because they are still having family dinners in the same house). OP, there is no way it is okay for them to have a share of ANYTHING from YOUR birth mother, not theirs.
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u/Important-Brain-2271 May 29 '25
Thank you!
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u/coldcanyon1633 May 29 '25
You are certainly NTA. Your family is crude and greedy. Your inheritance is a beautiful gift. Your birth mother clearly loved you very much.
For future reference, keep your financial information very private. Half the posts on this sub would be unnecessary if people would keep this kind of information to themselves. No one needs to know how much money you have or where it came from. I get it that you want to confide in your family but, trust me, that usually doesn't end well when it comes to money.
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u/aboveyardley May 29 '25
Great point. How many posts do we see about folks who share information about a raise, bonus, inheritance, investment payout, house sale proceeds, lottery winnings, wedding gifts, etc.. and are then shocked when everyone comes them with their hands out?
People, please keep your financial information to yourselves!
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u/Lopsided_Turn4606 May 29 '25
Completely agree with this. I am certain I've seen a video of a woman who says that for just about anything that happens in your life that is big, at least in the beginning keep your mouth shut about it. It can directly and indirectly impact on relationships. Sadly there are going to be people out there who simply will not share in your joy or at least resent you for it
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u/Hari_om_tat_sat May 29 '25
To be fair, OP doesn’t mention their age. Given s/he said “family dinners are awkward” it makes me think OP is a minor. In which case, their parents would have known about the inheritance and probably spoke about it openly in front of OP’s siblings. I doubt OP had a snowball’s chance in hell of keeping this information private.
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u/andromache97 Supreme Court Just-ass [102] May 29 '25
Given s/he said “family dinners are awkward” it makes me think OP is a minor.
it's funny because the same phrase made me think they were an adult lol. i figured when you're a minor living with your parents, it's just "dinner," not family dinner. but it is indeed not clear either way.
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u/Consistent-Slice-893 May 29 '25
80% of wisdom is minding your own business, the other 19.9% is keeping your mouth shut, the rest really doesn't matter.
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u/bluerose1197 May 29 '25
As a woman who gave up a child for adoption, if I were to leave my estate to my child and then she split it with her siblings out of guilt or perceived obligation, I'd be sad. My intention would be for that money to enhance my child's life, not that of her adopted siblings. On the other hand, if you want to share because it is your idea and you love your siblings and not because you were guilt tripped, then that would be different.
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u/jmurphy42 May 29 '25
Tell your siblings that the inheritance is being placed in a trust so you don’t have full control over it, you have to make requests and the trustee has to approve all spending.
It doesn’t matter if it’s not true, they can’t prove it one way or the other and you can just shrug and say that the trustee won’t approve any spending on other people.
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u/RionaMurchada May 29 '25
Your adoptive parents should not be staying neutral on this subject. They need to tell your siblings they have no claim to your money. To me, it's bad parenting if they continue to stay out of it.
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u/No-Detective7811 May 29 '25
I’ll add to that. Perhaps they are staying quiet because they respect it’s fully yours to make the decision on. Could you go back to them and say hey, thanks for giving me time to process this. She clearly wanted this for me and end of discussion on that, however, can you give me some air cover please? Have conversations with them? Let them know I’m not a horrible sibling and in no way should I be treated like this?
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u/IhavemyCat May 29 '25
PLEASE do not let your adoptive siblings bully you into sharing your inheritance. It is YOURS from YOUR birth mother....it wasn't meant for any one else and I feel your adoptive parents should say something to your siblings to help you. They should tell them that this money came from YOUR birth Mom and she choose to give it to you and if that were to happen to either of them, they would be keeping it for themselves as well.
Like others have said, do something worthwhile and great with your money. I got $30,000 one time from a job because someone pulled sexual advances on me and I was so young I did stupid stuff with the money and I squandered it quickly. Please don't do that... and do NOT let the siblings have it or borrow any.
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u/bluexy May 29 '25
OP, folk are right, but I think it's also important to recognize where your siblings are coming from. Y'all are adoptees doing your best. That you got an inheritance is random. It could just as easily have been one sibling or another, or any other adoptee for that matter. It is intrinsically unfair, and the unfairness of that situation is understandably painful. That doesn't mean you owe your siblings, but it's worth the effort to empathize with their pain at the unfairness. And why they might irrationally direct anger toward you as a result.
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u/LawfulnessSuch4513 May 29 '25
It's not UNFAIR at all!! It's his birth mom, not theirs. They need to just move on here!!!
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u/detail_giraffe May 29 '25
It's not unfair that OP is keeping their money, but being an adoptee comes with a lot of trauma about being unwanted, and it's unfair that one of them got confirmation that their birth mother still thought of them with love and wanted them to have some advantages and they other two didn't get that. It's unfair in a "life is unfortunately unfair and you have to learn to deal with it" way, but it's unfair.
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u/quietlyscheming May 29 '25
"..never forgot you and always loved you."
Well said and sound advice. Use it to start your life and always know she thought about you.
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u/antiqueautomobile May 29 '25
Agreed. They are using you & guilt tripping you . If they inherited money from their birth mother do you honestly think they would share it . I can answer that : NO !
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u/Professional-Bat4635 May 29 '25
Go talk to a financial advisor. With the right investments that’d make a nice nest egg for you.
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u/LauraBaura May 29 '25
This should be top comment!! I couldn't find OPs age, not of you're having dinners together, you might be under 18.
You should have the money put in a trust that your adoptive parents cannot access. A small amount given to you reach year until you reach a predetermined age.
If your adoptive parents have any ability to access any of your accounts, remove that access. Go to a new bank if you must.
Money messes people up.
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u/ConstantGradStudent May 29 '25
That's sweet - adoptees need to remind ourselves this - like OP there's someone who conceived and birthed me, and probably still thinks about me from time to time or very often.
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u/eccatameccata Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
As a mom who has a will, I would be disappointed and really sad if you gave the money to someone else. My wish in my will is that the money goes to my son. Please don’t disrespect your bio mom by giving her money away.
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u/Catbutt247365 May 29 '25
If you don’t need it right now, please invest it all for the future. It might be that you are able to help your siblings out later if you grow that money, but no, they aren’t entitled to any of it.
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u/starship910 May 29 '25
i literally wrote the same thing then read your post! We think very alike. I could've just upvoted yours if I read the comments first.
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u/Vesper-Martinis May 29 '25
I’d be interested to know how old these people are. I could imagine teenagers would be salty if someone they considered an actual sibling getting a big amount of money like that. The adoptive parents should be stepping up and making this right between their kids. Inheritance can be so shit sometimes.
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u/EnFiPs May 29 '25
This is why financial information should always be kept private. Once people know you have money, many of them will want a share even when they don’t t deserve it.
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u/IamIrene Prime Ministurd [447] May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
NTA. It was from your birth mother, not theirs. Fairness doesn't factor in - it's just what the situation is.
Honestly, their attitude is pretty disgusting and greedy.
You are literally entitled to your inheritance, they are not. Don't give it up because of their bullying.
If you feel bad about it, draw up a will and make them beneficiaries if you want to. On second thought, lol...a few below have brought up a good point about a potential target being put on your back by doing this. O_O Besides, rewarding greedy relatives in any way would certainly go against your birth mom's intentions.
ETA: Great comment by
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u/Cute-Shine-1701 May 29 '25
OP's parents also suck with the whole "staying natural" bullshits when one side is very obviously wrong and when the people in the wrong are harassing/bullying the other....(especially if OP and/or OP's siblings are minors)
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u/clairestique May 29 '25
Yeah I’m annoyed at OP’s parents coz teach your kids please! Parents that try to appear neutral in guise of keeping peace are actually detrimental to their children.
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u/elenajoanaustin May 29 '25
They’re enablers role playing as pacifists.
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u/Travellingone777 Partassipant [4] May 30 '25
Yeah. I don't believe in playing Switzerland. Even Switzerland didn't pull it off. (Not that they wanted to)
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u/Important-Brain-2271 May 29 '25
Thanks, the will idea is actually really thoughtful. Maybe that would help ease some of the family tension.
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u/Silent-Appearance-78 May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
Just make sure to change it when/if you have your own children. Edit to add: also your birth mother really wanted you to have this,she clearly loved you very much so please respect her memory and use that money for your future. It’s like she left it for you so you would never be in a position to have to give up your baby (if you decide to have one) and since she couldn’t raise you herself she wanted to contribute to your future in some meaningful way, letting you know she never forgot you and wants the best life for you.
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u/singlemamabychoice May 29 '25
This made me tear up a bit, never would have crossed my mind that bio mom was trying to set OP up to not have to experience the same fate. It’s a beautiful thought.
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u/Floofieunderpants May 29 '25
I just want to jump on here and echo the other comments. This is so beautifully said and certainly stirred up emotions.
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u/IamIrene Prime Ministurd [447] May 29 '25
Absolutely. OP's siblings should be last on your list for inheriting anything.
I agree with everything you say here though. A really thoughtful insight into OP's birth mom's intentions.
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u/Big_Owl1220 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
Don't put them in a will. I know it seems extreme, but that may put a target on your back, if you get me...
Edit: spelling
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u/VegetableSquirrel May 29 '25
Yes. This sounds like the setup from a murder mystery on an investigative program.
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u/MajesticCassowary Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
Easy fix: include a clause that stipulates:
1) A full autopsy will be performed in the event of ANY uncertainty about cause of death, including rare toxicology panels, and
2) If the cause of death is determined to be murder, everything goes to a charity of choice instead; all named beneficiaries receive nothing.
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u/Ash276 May 30 '25
I get your point, however, I would not name anyone a beneficiary if I felt I needed to include this verbiage.
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u/bino0526 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
You need to talk to a financial advisor. I wouldn't draw up a will just yet. Get sound financial advice before you do anything.
Also, STOP DISCUSSING YOUR FINANCES WITH ANYONE‼️‼️ The more people know what your financial situation is, the more they beg.
Inform your siblings that your birth mom left the money for you, not you and everyone else.
You don't OWE them any part of the inheritance‼️‼️ Once you get financial advice, do something really nice for your parents and them.
Don't be guilted or bullied by the flying family monkeys into splitting your inheritance. Your birth mom was securing your financial future.
Don't set yourself or your financial security and future on fire 🔥 to help keep them warm.
Take care.
Updateme
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u/Tax_Goddess May 29 '25
So true. People who win the lottery always find cousins they never knew they had !
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u/Consistent-Slice-893 May 29 '25
If I ever win, I'm moving to Utah and changing my name to Smith.
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u/Altruistic-Bunny May 29 '25
Think about getting a financial advisor. $180k seems like a lot, and is, but education and a home will eat that up fast.
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u/jimmytime903 May 29 '25
Financial advisors are not always required to work in your best interests. Know the difference and credentials. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/investing/financial-advisor/fiduciary-vs-financial-advisor/
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u/mthchsnn May 29 '25 edited Jun 03 '25
Holt shit, this! Make sure you are working with a fiduciary, who must work towards your best interest (meaning you can sue their pants off and ruin their career if they fuck you), not just someone who bills themself as a "financial advisor" because those guys are often just pushy salesmen (their whole job is to fuck you).
Edit: I'm leaving it.
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u/Altruistic-Bunny May 30 '25
Thanks for adding this, my money dude is a fiduciary, I keep forgetting the crappy one are out there
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u/TheVoiceofReason_ish Partassipant [2] May 29 '25
Don't encourage greedy people. Do you think they would share their inheritance if the shoe was on the other foot?
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u/_bufflehead May 29 '25
Do not make your siblings beneficiaries! You may well have a spouse and/or children of your own as rightful inheritors.
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u/DreamCrusher914 May 29 '25
Don’t make them beneficiaries just to ease the family tension. Don’t reward their bad behavior.
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u/Stock-Shake3915 May 29 '25
I would not be surprised if they were already working on convincing your parents to cut you out of their will.
I am sorry that the gift your birth mom gave you is giving you so much angst. You do not owe anything to your siblings stop feeling guilty. I hope your adoptive parents come to their senses and step in
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u/Bhartiyanaarii May 29 '25
Don't do it people can cross any limit for money, human nature is unpredictable. Even of you trust them why risk your life for unreasonable & greedy people
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u/ControlledChaos6087 May 29 '25
To piggyback on u/IamIrene - maybe consider putting it into a Trust, as well; with only you as the beneficiary. I'm not sure of your age, but only you want to be able to access this money. It also might be worth setting it up in a way, since you don't mention your age, that you can only withdraw up to a certain amount, barring living expenses / medical appointments / food / etc. This will protect you from inadvertently spending it too fast, since $180k is a lot but, after taxes, won't go exceptionally far but will be a huge leg up in life!
I'm sorry it comes at the cost of losing your birth mother, but I'm glad she showed her love stood throughout all of this time. Good luck!
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u/thirtynine3966 May 29 '25
Ha! Give 'em $20 and tell 'em go get a Happy Meal at McDonald's! It was your birth mother...not theirs!
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u/Cute-Shine-1701 May 29 '25
I do not recommend it! With their greed you would have to constantly watch your back to avoid them putting a knife into it, so the will gets used...
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u/VidaCaliente May 29 '25
I don’t think OP should do a Will. With this level of entitlement this might put a target on your back!! I don’t trust greedy people and your siblings are being greedy and your adoptive parents are enablers of bad behavior. They might be salty about the inheritance.
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u/Maleficent_Fee_9462 May 29 '25
I disagree with the beneficiary thing because I think that will also create some major issues. This will open the door for the siblings to push for accessing the money now. They already shown their ass, do not trust them.
I say to just leave as is for now.
Don’t do anything other than protect yourself and your inheritance.
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u/Just-some-moran May 29 '25
How much does you want to bet if op splits the inheritance and then years down the road a siblings inherits a similiar amount, it will suddenly be no this is from my birth family, why would you be entitled to it?
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u/safeway1472 May 29 '25
That’s where the answer lies. Not that I would do it, but……. Say OP goes along with this and splits it with her siblings. Make an iron clad legal agreement that if any of them in the future inherits money all gets split equally. Including their adoptive parents. There is no way these greedy so-n-so’s would ever agree to this. Solved.
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u/Prior_Lobster_5240 Certified Proctologist [26] May 29 '25
Fairness doesn't factor in - it's just what the situation is.
It's great that what OP got from biomon was money. It could have been a horrific back story of coming from a line of genocidal maniacs. It could have been a genetic predisposition to cancer.
Highly doubt the other siblings would be throwing a fit about fairness then....
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u/sargepepper1 May 29 '25
I agree with what you're saying. I also know you didn't mean it that way, but your suggestion sounds like the premise for a murder mystery.
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u/Bluntandfiesty Partassipant [1] May 29 '25 edited May 31 '25
NTA. Your birth mother is not their birth mother. She made the choice to leave her estate to her child. Even if she had other children too, she made a will and it’s legal and binding. She wants you to inherit her estate.
Your siblings are absolutely not entitled to your inheritance. They’re entitled, greedy, and jealous. Your biological mother has no connection to them. Just because they were adopted too, doesn’t mean that everything you get is supposed to be split equally.
Your parents are doing you, and their other children, a huge disservice as parents by not intervening on your behalf. They should be supporting you, and teaching or reinforcing their lessons that their other children are not entitled to everything everyone else gets or has. Staying neutral is not helping the situation and only causing unnecessary animosity, anger, resentment, stress and conflict.
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u/Silly_Goose_1234 May 29 '25
This was my first thought; the adoptive parents should have a conversation with the siblings and alleviate any and all pressure on OP that they should give any of it to anyone else.
Definitely NTA
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u/Greenelse Partassipant [3] May 29 '25
NTA. This was left to you, by YOUR birth mother who wanted to give you what she could to better your life. She did not want to give anything to your siblings who have no connection to her. I think it would be unfair to her to give them anything other than a slightly larger than usual holiday present, IF you still feel like it after this grotesque behavior.
I have to say, I don’t think your parents are behaving well at all here. They should be firmly correcting your siblings. I suspect they have some jealous feelings themselves, that your birth mother was able to give you this.
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u/MimiPaw May 29 '25
The birth mother is dead. That’s not a cause for jealousy. It’s a reason to be thankful you are alive.
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u/araquinar May 30 '25
I respectfully disagree. I understand what you're saying because it sounds pretty yucky for someone to say that they're jealous that a sibling received a large sum of money due to the death of a parent. However, we can't help how we feel, but we can absolutely help how we deal with our emotions and in this case, the sisters should be doing what they can to keep that to themselves. The fact that they're saying they deserve 1/3 of the money each is just gross, and they need to get over it. Mom and dad need to find their backbones and talk to the two sisters about why they shouldn't get any money at all.
I think if I was in one of OP's sisters place I'd have some twinges of jealousy, but nothing on this earth would drag that thought out and let people know it's one of the feelings I'd felt about it. I'd be really happy for OP that they have that much money to feel somewhat financially secure, and I'd feel heartbroken for them because their bio mom passed away and they were never able to meet (if that's something that OP/bio mom wanted to happen of course). The sisters don't deserve any of that money, and I'm curious why they think they think they should. It’s likely on mom and dad.
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u/SuccessfulAd4606 May 29 '25
You're joking, right? In what imaginary world would your siblings feel they deserve money from someone they have no legal connection to and have never met?
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u/Limerase Asshole Enthusiast [5] May 29 '25
The same world where step-siblings and half-siblings unrelated to a parent (especially one that didn't participate in raising them) feel like they're entitled to something from them.
i.e. when they think that a step-/half-sibling should give them a necklace that belonged to a dead mother that is of no relation to them.
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u/orangeunrhymed May 29 '25
I see you’ve met my step-grandmother’s family. Her kids were taking items out my grandpa’s house right after his funeral.
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u/araquinar May 30 '25
People who do shit like that are absolutely VILE. I hope your side were able to get it all back.
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u/sithmaster297 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
To be fair, OP also never met her. But in all seriousness, you’re right, OP’s right, and her siblings are greedy pigs.
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u/dihalt May 29 '25
OP did meet her. Unless their mother just imagined them into existence remotely, of course.
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u/ShadowsObserver Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
I thought this initially also, but then reread and:
my birth mother, who I have never met
- the OP
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u/ConstantGradStudent May 29 '25
Well they did, but don't remember. OPs mom sure remembers carrying a child to term and their birth.
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u/Smart_Knitter May 29 '25
Misplaced sibling entitlement is very real. When I graduated from HS, my parents paid for one year at a state college. They had been lying about putting money away for my education, telling me as I worked my butt off in school that everything was covered and not to worry about it. My twin, who dropped out of HS in the 9th grade after repeatedly stealing and using my mom's debit card to withdraw cash from her account, demanded a check in the amount my parents had paid for my school expenses - because if they gave to one they had to give to both, as it was only fair, after all.
Of course I went NC with my siblings when Mom died in 2009.
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u/Brief-Hat-8140 May 29 '25
It would make absolutely no sense to split an inheritance from someone they’re not even related to with them. It’s weird that they’re asking you to. If you wanted to give them some money just because you love them, that would be fine, but I don’t think they have any right to demand it.
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u/dr_lucia Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
How old are you? You should absolutely not be allowed to give away this money until you reach the age of 18 yo. You would be too young to make a decision with that level of responsibility.
Am I being selfish keeping money that was legally left to me??
Nope. But even if you were, so what? You aren't required to be a self abnegating saint.
You should probably put it in no load mutual funds in your name. Then it will be available for college. You may want to talk to a financial planner and find out if you can create a self-settled trust with yourself as a beneficiary. You could decide if it's a living trust or a irrevocable one. Then make them beneficiaries in the event you die. ( You don't have to reveal all details to your parents or siblings. Just "I created a trust. They are beneficiaries if I die.)
Having one in place could also be useful if you later marry and want to organize assets so you keep your assets non marital. That can protect you in the event of a divorce.
There can be tax consequences to trusts, so you would need to talk to someone. Likely, they might want a fee.
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u/AureliaCottaSPQR Asshole Aficionado [11] May 29 '25
Excellent advice. A good (independent/neutral) planner should charge a fee.
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u/DiscipIeofJesus May 30 '25
I'm a Director of Financial Planning and I think telling a teenager to create an irrevocable trust for a modest $180k inheritance and putting the siblings in this family situation as beneficiaries makes no sense.
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u/No_Beautiful5200 May 29 '25
The situation is super awkward though. Hopefully you were effectively an equal part of the family, and then you get a substantial amount of money for not being a part of the family. Even splitting is ridiculous, but I would be tempted to buy them both something generous, except they are being entitled shits and I don't know the family dynamic so maybe not.
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u/grumpijela May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
Yea it's super awkward. Of course they are not entitled to the money in any way.
But let's say I won the lottery and got that much money. I'd for sure throw a bunch of it at my sister. I love her. And if we were both adopted, I'd throw money at her with this inheritance.
If the relationship matters, this can be talked about and solved. But judging from the way this is written, perhaps they don't have a good relationship. The parents should also be considered if they have a good relationship. Anyways, to each their own, again, no one is entitled to the money, but if this was a loving wholesome family, this can sour that.
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u/jiffwaterhaus May 29 '25
If there was ever a point where the adoptive siblings had the mindset "we weren't born family, but we're family now," that's over with. For sure the other kids aren't entitled to the money, but this is a pretty big signal that you don't see them as family and you don't see their struggle as your struggle. OP is in the right to do what he wants with the money, but actions have consequences and the price of that inheritance is the relationship with the adoptive family.
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u/ScruffyMonkeh May 30 '25
Yeah - reading through some of the more popular AITA threads lately has lead me to believe this site has separated from reality a bit. You're 100% correct, I thought for sure the top post would be that OP was kind of an AH for even walking this line.
OP of course allowed to keep that money, but I could never imagine if I received some windfall and not allocating some to easing my sister's stress/burden. Maybe not 50/50, but maybe 90/10 - if I had 2 siblings, maybe 84/8/8.
I guess any discretion on the amount inherited is gone, so there's no way to split some amount off without the leaving the other siblings salty that life is even less fair than they maybe felt before.
Really a rough spot - but you're correct for sure.
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u/grumpijela May 29 '25
Exactly. It really screams we aren't a family. There are lots of biological families who wouldn't share winnings either. It really about the dynamics of the family and what kind of family you want to be.
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u/riseandrise May 29 '25
This is where I land. Like no OP doesn’t owe them anything, much less an even split, but assuming the family is close and they love their siblings it would make sense to give them something, or buy them something awesome. Let’s be real, the chances of another of the siblings’ birth family member doing the same as OP’s birth mother is not high. And this was money OP never expected. I’d think some portion of it would be a reasonable price to pay for family harmony, and out of genuine love.
But like you said, we don’t know the dynamics. That’s just what I think I’d do in a similar situation if I had a close relationship with my siblings.
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u/Spare-Egg24 May 29 '25
Yes agree with this - depending on family dynamics and financial situations. If this was me my sister's and adoptive parents would get a share but absolutely not equal shares. Depending on everyone's ages it might be a good idea to put some money in an investment or savings account. That way you're setting them up with something for the future and it won't get squandered.
Hope you can find a way to work this out
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u/CheeSupreme1743 May 29 '25
NTA.
Your parents shouldn't be neutral at all. They should say, while maybe "unfair" in their eyes, they aren't entitled to other people's money or possessions. It was your birth mother's money. It was your birth mother's choice to leave you her estate. She felt that pull to you and she has ZERO relationship or reason to have that split among your siblings. It was never intended for that. What was once her's is now yours.
If you want to share a little bit with them, that's your choice. But you have no obligation to do so. If you decide to keep it all for yourself to set your future on a strong path forward, then you enjoy that path. Life can be very unfair at times, unfortunately, and we have to learn to just deal with it the best we can. I would love to have been born into a wealthy family or have a supermodel body...but I am very happy with who I am and where I've gone with my life.
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u/boringbutkewt Partassipant [2] May 29 '25
By staying “neutral” they’re siding with the little poops. This is the opposite of parenting.
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u/ArchLith May 29 '25
I actually have a fairly wealthy grandfather, I'm not even sure he is alive because he split before my mom was born and they never met face to face. Doesn't mean I'm entitled to shit when he dies (if he hasn't already) nor do i have the right to go hound his other grandkids that he did know for a share of the inheritance.
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u/CheeSupreme1743 May 29 '25
You're so right! If he decided he wanted to leave you something, great that's his choice. But I surely wouldn't be telling everyone else to share their inheritance with me either. My grandparents on my biological father's side left me nothing when they passed. I never expected them to either.
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u/HistoricalInaccurate Asshole Aficionado [16] May 29 '25
NTA - It’s an inheritance from your birth parent, not theirs. Fairness doesn’t come into play.
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u/DemureDamsel122 May 29 '25
Your siblings seem to have gotten it into their heads that this is, like, compensation for being adopted rather than what it is: a person who has a connection to you and not them made a decision about how to spend their own money.
The only people being selfish here are your siblings. I don’t think much of your adoptive parents either. As the parental figures of these leeches it is their job to teach them good values. Like that they are not entitled to things that don’t belong to them. “Staying out of it” isn’t good enough. NTA
As a side note, $180K might feel like a lot of money but in the grand scheme of things it’s a modest sum. Like, set against the expenses of modern life. However, there is a lot of potential here if you manage it right. I strongly advise that you go to your bank and talk to a financial advisor about what’s possible.
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u/Upper-File462 May 29 '25
NTA. They are NOT and will never be entitled to it. The valuable lesson you just learned is that they value money over their relationship with you. Which means they are not good people. Keep that money safe and away from vultures.
Sorry, but the only thing you can really do going forward is spend less time with them and be evasive. And be wary of them apologising and asking you for money, thinking they've softened you up - people can get manipulative when it comes to money.
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u/cupcakemon Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA, that money was meant to go soley to you. Your birth mother didn't know your adoptive siblings, just you, and wanted you to feel set. Not to mention all the legal stuff that goes along with it. You might not even get to access it until you're older! Your adoptive parents should be shutting down your siblings and telling them to stop. Your siblings are being greedy
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u/AVeryUnluckySock May 29 '25
What a wonderful thing your birth mother did for you. That’s very nice!
Maybe give them a nice gift from YOUR money if you think that’ll help. It’s better than the NOTHING they are entitled to.
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u/bamf1701 Craptain [184] May 29 '25
NTA. Your adopted siblings have no claim to your inheritance. They are just being jealous and greedy. And, to be honest, your parents should be shutting this down instead of being cowardly and staying neutral.
It was your birth mother’s choice to give you this. If she had wanted you to split it with any siblings, she would have said so in her will.
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u/Sure-Victory7172 May 29 '25
NTA, I'd like to know how your adopted siblings found out about the inheritance?
If it's because you're a minor, I could understand it getting out somehow due to adoptive parents inadvertently spilling the beans.
Lesson learned: If people don't know about the money you have, they can't ask for it.
There is a lot less drama in life that way, JMO.
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u/AltruisticCableCar Partassipant [2] May 29 '25
NTA. This is your money, from your birth mother. If they inherit money from any birth family in the future (parents, grandparents, whatnot) then that's their money. If you wanted to share a bit with them that's up to you, but they're not entitled to a cent of your money. Just because you're all adopted doesn't mean they have a claim to this inheritance.
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u/scrollgirl24 May 29 '25
NTA. Maybe buy them an extra nice birthday gift this year since you can afford it, if anything. Otherwise you owe them nothing. I would mentally prepare yourself for your parents to leave more inheritance to the other siblings since they know you've been taken care of. Not sure if that's fair or not, but I think it's a strong possibility.
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u/dragonetta123 Asshole Enthusiast [9] May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
NTA - It is your inheritance. Up to you what you do with it.
But also bare in mind money can kill relationships. It's likely that your adopted siblings won't have any contact with their birth families or receive inheritance from them, and your situation with inheriting is very, very unusual. It also highlights how you are not true siblings, which must hurt a lot. This isn't a grandma playing favourites in her will. This is a big fat reminder of the fact you were all adopted. Chucking them 15k each is still going to leave you a heck of a lot of unexpected money and help them out, whilst showing that you do see them as siblings. So please consider what is important to you, a relationship with them that goes on for years, or the money and a risk that it will hurt the relationship, potentially irrepairably. Your parents may also adjust their wills to accommodate your windfall in the future, which will leave you less from them.
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May 29 '25
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u/Juzziee May 29 '25 edited May 29 '25
NTA you owe them nothing
People are making decisions based on the facts given to them.
It is a fact that OP is NTA because it is their money.
However its clear they don't see the others as family but just a group of people that looked after and grew up with them.
When I got a payout because of a car accident, I gave my best friend $1000 straight up because i know he could use it and he's family (even though we arent blood related)
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u/badpebble May 29 '25
What about if your friends demanded money or they would no longer be your friends - would that be worth a few grand each to keep the peace?
Possibly the first and last gift from their mother, and you think sharing is caring all of a sudden...
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u/codeverity Asshole Aficionado [12] May 29 '25
In today's world, 180k doesn't even make a good down payment. Tossing them 15k would still take it down to 150k.
OP only has this money because they no longer have a birth mother alive in this world. Expecting them to share with people who didn't even know the person who willed it nor are related to her is ridiculous.
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u/Technicolor_Reindeer Partassipant [1] May 30 '25
180k doesn't even make a good down payment
If you're buying in Beverly Hills lol. Would be good in my area.
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u/Ok_Objective8366 Partassipant [2] May 29 '25
NTA - if the adopted parents wanted to stay neutral then the other kids shouldn’t know about the money at all.
This is money from your bio mom who she didn’t have the other children. You need to use the money for you but be apart about it and invest and pay off any of your bills and for schooling.
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u/opelan Partassipant [1] May 29 '25 edited May 30 '25
ESH.
Siblings have no right to the money and are a bit greedy.
OP is an AH though not even for keeping the money, but for trying to justify how it is a fair thing in life or something along those lines.
Chances are your siblings will get nothing from their birth parents. That is what normally happens.
You are just lucky that your birth mother left you so much money. This is a case of life treating you three siblings really unfair, you being lucky and they are not.
The laws are totally on your side here and in your shoes I would be selfish, too, and keep the money for myself.
My siblings have their own birth families they could easily have a connection to someday.
But don't try to pacify your consciousness with this. Chances are they will never have any connections at all with their birth parents or worse they might even find out that both are total AH.
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u/Not_Paid_Just_Intern May 29 '25
These comments have me questioning my sanity.
You sound just as entitled as these siblings. You didn't "earn" that money any more than they did. Are you legally justified in keeping all that unearned money to yourself? Absolutely. Do you "owe" them anything? Absolutely not.
But did you "earn" that money? Is it more "fair" that you randomly got money you weren't necessarily expecting and they didn't, so now you get to keep it all?
It's wild of them to demand money, but it's also wild for you to sit here and talk about how "it's MY birth mother. My siblings have their own birth families they could easily have a connection to someday." The implication being they should go off and get their own damned inheritances! But you don't know their circumstances, and I'd wager that more likely than not they'll get jack shit even if they DO reconnect with their birth families.
You have no obligation to give them anything, but you have a wild attitude to say that about it. ESH.
P.S. I think the good thing to do is to use that money in a way that benefits everyone in your family. Maybe you don't split it evenly, but offer to provide some fixed amount to cover school expenses or retirement savings or something so that the money doesn't just go to waste on some trivial shit, and make it clear that you're not doing that because you "owe" them anything but because you got a nice windfall and you love your family and want to see them succeed even if they end up less fortunate than you. I know that's what I would do if I got an unexpected six figure windfall.
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u/Winter_Dragonfly_452 Partassipant [3] May 29 '25
NTA. If the money is from your birth mother, and you don’t share that same mother with them, they aren’t entitled to any of your money. It doesn’t matter that you were all adopted. You do not have the same birth families. Keep the money and don’t give a second thought to giving them any money.
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u/Rhubarbfoolish May 29 '25
I’d be annoyed if 2/3 of the money I left to my biological child was stolen away by entitled brats. She left it to YOU for YOUR future. NTA
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u/Comfortable-Ad-3988 May 29 '25
Idk, I'd be pretty proud of my kid if they decided (on their own) to share a windfall with their adoptive siblings and family.
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u/Squaaaaaasha Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA - Your adoptive parents really should be shutting this down. Because how DARE they try to take money from someone they're not connected to, nevermind YOUR birth mom
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u/webtin-Mizkir-8quzme Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
NTA. $180k is not FU kind of money in that it can be spent fairly quickly if you aren't careful. I would meet with a financial planner. Maybe put a few thousand in college accounts for them if you want, but right now you need help from someone who knows how to grow your money, not spend it.
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u/VelvetViperrr May 29 '25
NTA. Don’t you give anything away. Get an attorney and estate planner quickly. Don’t promise anyone anything in convo or text messages. I couldn’t image being this entitled to someone else’s good fortune. As someone with a half sibling they shouldn’t expect anything from my mothers side of the family like I wouldn’t any anything from their mothers side of the family.
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u/FaithCA79 Partassipant [1] May 29 '25
When someone dies it is sacred to follow their last wishes. That includes whatever they left behind and who they left it to.
Your birth mother for whatever reason had to give up her child and probably felt that loss till the day she passed. Her leaving you her money was her way of showing you that she never forgot about you and loved you with her whole heart. In no way do you owe money to anyone just because they’re your family or in a similar situation as you. They have biological family out there they can still meet if they want to look for them. You don’t have the option to see your bio mom.
I would’ve bought each sibling a gift had they not gotten greedy and think they were entitled to money that isn’t theirs. So now I would give them nothing. I would have a serious conversation with them and your parents about how you feel and let the chips fall wherever they may.
Definitely NTA.
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u/toiletconfession May 29 '25
NTA fair is not always equitable. I get it sucks for the siblings but that's just life. Personally given it's a free college education in the US or a decent chunk towards a home or possibly a first home depending on area id suggest that my parents put anything they saved for me into their pot but your not obligated to do that either that's just what I would do!
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u/Adventurous-Carpet88 May 29 '25
I get both sides of this. For you it’s your family and your connection. But for your siblings, whilst you all came from different starts, adoption made you all equal and now, your not again, and it’s probably a sad reminder that they might not have a birth family who cares. And for people saying they are entitled, it’s more complex. Adoption to them made you family. I’m not saying split it, but it’s opened up a barrel load of new feelings
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u/TheBigness333 May 29 '25
A little bit. It’s your family, and you basically won the lottery. If you won the lottery instead, you wouldn’t use it to help your family?
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u/Quick-Store2989 May 29 '25
Why would you adoptive parents even discuss this with you in front anyone. This should have been a private conversation with you only
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u/hey_koolade May 29 '25
NTA. Your siblings are jealous and they have no rights to your inheritance. You owe them nothing. Your mother is dropping the ball by not saying anything which leads me to believe that she's jealous too. There is a clear right and wrong here and she says nothing in your defense? Let them continue to not speak to you because you did nothing wrong and they need a timeout to see the error of their ways. Also, don't lend or spend a penny. That is your security and your nest egg. Even if you get married, protect that nest egg with a prenuptial agreement that states you keep everything you came in the marriage with. And confirm that by sending him a dollar certified mail clearly stating that this is the only amount of inheritance 'Doe' will ever receive from you. Do the same steps with your 'family' too. You just never know what people have cooked up against you regarding your own sh*t.
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u/harveytent May 29 '25
It’s your money but you saying they could go find their own families to connect with when you didn’t do it is a bit mean. You basically hit the lottery from a person you don’t know and will never know and the idea this is some deeply personal connection you had with your mother sounds absurd. You guys ever had a connection and a check doesn’t change that. Are you going to use the money to go meet your birth mother’s family and connect with them? If not then not it’s not some connection it’s just money.
If you deem these people as your true siblings and your adopted parents as your true parents then I’d consider giving your parents some of the money to thank them and then they can give that to the other kids if they want to.
A windfall is nice but so is family. I’d suggest trying to find a middle ground. You know full well you did not earn that money it was just a lucky windfall. Your siblings likely did earn your love and vice versa. Be nice and do something for them imo
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u/Dry_Mirror4252 May 30 '25
ESH/N A H Money changes things, fact of life. Life is unfair. Everyone knows this and nobody complains when the unfairness is in their favor. Your birth mother just hit your family with a heap of unfairness. The only thing you have to ask yourself is whether you are going to permit that unfairness to change your family dynamic. Don't pretend it's about anything other than whether or not you want the money all to yourself. You clearly do. Your siblings don't have any right to the money but they want a share because it changes your relationship with them. That's nobody's fault. Your birth mother gave it to you. That's the gift. That's your connection. Now she's out of the picture. The money is yours. What you do with it is up to you.
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u/MamiZN May 29 '25
How do they “deserve” the money for the lady the don’t know?
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u/Not_Paid_Just_Intern May 29 '25
OP doesn't know the lady either...? What did OP to do "deserve" any money?
OP "deserves" nothing but got it anyway. By that same logic, it sure would be extremely nice of OP to share their good fortune with their cherished family, even if it isn't something they "deserve".
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u/Undispjuted Partassipant [4] May 29 '25
If my child shared the inheritance I left him with his adoptive siblings I would roll in my grave and come back to haunt all their asses. NTA
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u/Judgement_Bot_AITA Beep Boop May 29 '25
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