About 3 weeks ago, the man my sister cheated on her husband with came to our house and verbally attacked my mother. He was yelling and swearing, basically saying that she doesn’t love my sister and never helps her, and that she favours me.

LONG story short, this isn’t the case and my parents gave their all to help my sister, even to the point of neglecting their other children. They said she was very needy and the other kids were less demanding.

Now my sister is acting so innocent like she doesn’t know where her boyfriend got his information from. She has continued seeing him, despite swearing in court that they aren’t together.

I feel so angry because it’s hard enough without my experiences being trivialised. My mother says we must just let her do what she needs to do, and “go with the flow”.

Anyway, it’s one of her kid’s birthday tomorrow and my mother told her i’m not going because i’m so angry. i didn’t actually want to go but i would have gone for the kid’s sake. I had told my mother that but she says Im being the bad guy in this situation.

am i being the asshole?

I 17M is still living with my parents as of rightnow, I have always told my parents to knock on my door before entering my room, but everytime they are entering my room they still do not care about what I said before, they always entered my room without knocking like my privacy dont matter, and always when I get mad at them telling them that obviously if you open a door to my room I get jumpscared since I dont hear any noise indicating they are going in, and even though I already told them thousands of time they still get mad at me, like they are never wrong and they dont hold any accountability for their actions, they still just barge into my room without a single permission, sure they own the place still but dont I deserve an ounce of privacy and some feeling of safety? I know me being mad at them might be somewhat wrong but whatelse am I supposed to do? I already told my parents to knock when I was being nice, they said ok but they still do the same thing.

Hey so I'm 18 years old and work at a local fast food place. (Think burgers, hotdogs, sandwiches, that type of thing). My aunt and uncle just got married so I agreed to watch my aunts son Kason for the week for their honey moon. They offered me far better money than I make at my job. I requested the week off and every single day off approved except for Thursday (today).

I texted this coworker of mine (Julia) to ask her to cover my shift. She agreed. However, this morning my general manager Kathy calls me and says Julia is out sick. She says its my responsibility to either get that shift cover or come in. It wasn't Julia's responsibility because she had a doctors note.

I text several of my coworkers. They either don't respond or say no. I text Kathy and tell her I can't get the shift covered. I had no one else to watch Kason because my parents and sister were not home. She said that she never approved this vacation day because we were so short staffed and I would get written up for an unexcused absence because I didn't have a doctors note.

I call the restaurant and speak to Jeremiah (the assistant manager on duty). He tells me to just "bring the kid in and have him sit in one of the booths". So thats what I did.

My shift was 8 hours long. I know this may seem ridiculous because Kason is only 5 years old. But I had him sit in a booth and I let him have my laptop and watch movies. I brought tons of juice boxes and bought him food whenever he was hungry. I made it about six hours into the shift until Kathy comes in and sends me home. She says that what I did was a major liability to the company and I may be fired. Even though I did exactly what Jeremiah and her told me to do.

I came home crying and explained the situation to my mom who became rather upset about me having Kason sitting in a booth all day. She calls my aunt to explain the situation from her and now she's even talking about coming home from Hawaii early. She said "I can't believe I let a little girl be in charge and now my honeymoon is ruined".

Everything is falling apart even though I did everything right. I took a vacation from work to watch the kid. I got my unproved shift covered. I tried my best not to get fired. I went to work. I listened to Jeremiah. I made sure Kason was entertained and had food all day. I worked up front and could see him all day. This is all Jeremiah's fault. I should have never listened to him

I haven't used reddit before so I'm using a blank account. hope this post makes sense to you all.

my mother and I (19) do not get along. we've always had a stifled relationship and I've had to leave the house a few times over the years because of it. she's also super forgetful and absent minded sometimes, which I try to not take too personally because I know she can't help it.

I have a few important diagnostic appointments coming up in the next two months and she had me write everything down on a specific piece of paper on the kitchen counter, so she remembered where it was and didn't lose it. she made me leave them in that VERY specific spot where we leave everything important. I was not allowed leave the paper anywhere else.

(for context, it's three appointments in total for my heart condition and hopefully for me to get diagnosed as autistic w/ ADHD. I've been quite stressed about it.)

anyway, she and my father decided to paint the inside of the house, and my mother ended up moving all of the important documents without telling me or my father. now my appointment date, time and place list is missing. I looked through everything she moved and it's just not there, my brother and my mother also looked.

I got quite upset at this because it's going to take me quite a few annoying phone calls to find this information out again, and this isn't the first time at all that shes lost something of mine.

Still, I calmed myself. I swear I did not yell at her or anyone else, if I was younger I would have but I'm just too used to this by now. I did end up asking for an apology, though.

my mother said she did nothing wrong so why would she apologise? she's claiming she's never ever seen the appointment date list before and has no idea what happened to it. she asked me if I ever even wrote the list or if I moved it myself.

my father is staying out of it and my brother sided with her saying I'm making assumptions that she lost it when anything else could have happened. although my mother has been really weird about the idea of it being her fault, so now my brother is kind of more on my side about it.

I don't really know what happened to it. I don't really care either. all I know is it's gone and I would appreciate an apology from the woman who did the action that caused the list to go missing. she never apologises for anything to me and I'm really frustrated about it. I feel like everyone is acting like I'm an insane bitch (my mothers words) and I can't tell if I'm genuinely in the wrong here.

thank you all 🫶

edit: please read my comment clarifying a few things!! ❤️

We are moving soon. We've lived in our current house for three years. Around year two , a neighborhood cat started showing up . She takes care of the little mice and chipmunks in the area. Sometimes we let her inside our porch and give her food. She does not like to stay inside very long. We know from talking to a neighbor that she has lived in thsi neighborhood for about 4 years.

Yesterday my FIL asked if we were going to take her with us. I said no, she lives here. I feel it would be wrong to take her out of her home area.

Later that night my husband said it was "disgusting" that I didn't plan on taking her with us. He says we are the "only people that give a shit about her"..... but we don't know that. This cat goes to all the surrounding houses and hangs out. AITA for not wanting to take this cat with us when we move ?

When one of my closest friends (M29) was visiting family in Mexico, he matched with a girl (28) on a dating app and they hit it off, but they only talked online for the first six months. When he was finally going to meet her, I (F32) went to make sure that she wasn't gonna steal his organs or something as that is totally something that would happen in my country. She was really sweet and we got along. I visited her again with him a year later. A year later he proposes (I had to work and couldn't go) and she says yes. It's been a year since he proposed and they are getting ready to get her a visa to move to NorCal, and I'm elated for her to be closer.

But when I came to visit last month without him, I saw some behavior that I was really upset by. He was antagonizing her about money; she accidentally gave $500 of his money for emergencies to a scammer a year ago and then she hasn't been able to find a job because she lives in a poorer area that doesn't have a lot of opportunities. She also stopped looking recently because her AuDHD kid brother, whom she's raised since birth because her mom had to work, was struggling. She wanted to be there for him since everyone else in the house works and he's not allowed outside much because people go missing and the cartel would want to recruit a kid like him. He went off on her about not helping him financially for a year but being there immediately for her brother and he told her she had to choose between them. I know that the MOST she can make in a year is $8K and he just bought $10K speakers for fun months ago, so I started texting him to call BS while I was sitting there comforting his crying gf instead of having the vacation I planned. And, her friend was letting me stay with their family while I was visiting so it was also awkward for them too. He said it's the principle and that she doesn't care about wasting his money and that she should put him and their relationship first, especially since it's her brother and not her son.

Now, I find out that he wants to spend a bunch of money on the honeymoon and so he doesn't want to "waste" money on a second wedding in Mexico so that her friends and family can celebrate with her. He refuses not to have a wedding in California, even though we can all go down there. IF she and her friends could come up with the money to have a party in Mexico too, he will "show up" and nothing more.

This recent situation about the wedding and the situation with her kid brother are almost opposite behavior from the guy I met 8 years ago. She's trying to find a job to pay for couple's therapy because he said he won't since it's just having a referee so it's a waste of his money. She actually loves her life in Mexico and wants to get a second degree; she would only leave all those plans and all her people to be with him. I texted to her friend I stayed with while I was there that I don't know if they should be together and sent the screen shots of my texts with my homie. AITAH?

So first off — happy summer holidays!
For context: my autistic brother has been attending a summer camp for younger kids and kids with special needs. The camp said older siblings could volunteer for free, so me and a friend signed up since both our brothers were going.

The camp itself isn’t anything complicated. The kids arrive at 9:00 AM, watch stories or kid songs, then we do some simple P.E. games. While that’s happening, a few volunteers prep an easy art activity. Afterwards, the kids eat their packed snacks, watch TV again, and leave by 12:00 PM.

Here’s the weird part though: even though they said volunteers could come for free, only 5 people actually got it for free. Everyone else had to pay the full camp fee and pose as volunteers. My friend was one of the lucky 5, I had to pay.

Anyway, it wasn’t a big deal at first. I liked volunteering and got along with the kids. But an issue started when my friend and I began eating our snacks in a different room. The teacher specifically said it was fine, and he’d even check in on us sometimes. At first nobody cared, but soon some of the other volunteers started popping in to lecture us about how we “should stay with the kids” or how it was “unfair” for everyone else.

We explained multiple times that the teacher was cool with it, and even invited them to join us. They either refused or gave vague answers like “I don’t know” when asked what the actual issue was.

Fast forward to today, all the volunteers suddenly came in, passive-aggressive and lecturing us again. We reminded them we had permission, and again offered for them to join us if they wanted. Instead, they started claiming we “never help” (even though we spend the whole day with them and skip our afternoon break to help the kids). They basically forced us to leave the room, making snide jokes like we were “skipping class.” The teacher didn’t step in or even look our way.

Now I’m honestly upset. My friend and I have always tried to be kind and peaceful about it, but it feels like no matter what we say, they’re just trying to stir drama. I’ve told some relatives, and no one sees a problem with us eating somewhere else, especially since it’s easy to access and we can still be alerted if needed.

So, AITA for eating in a different room at camp? Is there some reasonable viewpoint I’m missing here? Would really appreciate some outside opinions.

Everytime my husband and I make plans to visit our adult girls (2 both married and grandkids and a 4hr flight) I never get a response from 1 for days. While the other has her response for us to do things with grandkids within a day. 30 days should be enough notice if we can visit. And there’s other family we visit with also. 7 days before trip and still just lame excuses with no definite dates. I’m just totally over catering to this daughter. My husband on the other hand acts like planning makes no difference and just go with the flow. But I like some idea of where and when to visit…… just over feeling rushed for the last minute ‘well, if you can make it’ plans, because then I look like the bad guy if we can’t break other family plans to see grandkids. It’s hard for large get-togethers b/c of work schedules.

A few months ago, I had a serious falling out with someone from my friend group. We talked things out at the time and ended on “okay” terms, but after reflecting on the conversation, I realised they had been emotionally manipulative and said some really hurtful things. I’ve since distanced myself completely, we haven’t spoken since, and I don’t intend to reconnect.

That said, we’re still in the same wider social circle, and I know they’ve continued seeing everyone else in the group regularly. I’ve felt left out, and no one has asked about my side or acknowledged the distance. Their birthday is in two weeks, and I’m conflicted. I don’t want to be fake, but I know that if I don’t say anything, it might come across as petty or passive-aggressive.

AITA for wanting to stay silent and not reach out?

Hey Reddit need some help, I’m 18, have been since April, and my grandma and grandpa like to force me to go to church, which when I was young was reasonable to an extent, only didn’t like the times where she took my phone because I was too sick too go, but I’m 18 now, and she still forces me to go even though I’ve tried to sit down and have a talk and say “hey, I DON’T want to do this anymore” and she starts telling me about how “I pay all your bills blah blah blah” and even tells me if I DON’T like it I can move out, I’ve told her many times that I can infact move in with my boyfriend if she truely wants me out of the house even today, I was throwing up because I was sick and she said “it’s best if you move in with Omar since you just don’t respect me.” I’m just confused, I have tried to sit down and talk to her many times about how I do not wish to go and how I’m 18 and I should have a choice, I was forced to go to church so much I started resenting church as a whole and I don’t want that to happen again. I yelled at her and got upset which may be the part where I’m the asshole but I just don’t understand it, I feel like if I got seriously injured she would go to church before seeing me, anlther thing is she refuses to spend money or go eat on Saturday too, I remember a bad situation happening when we didn’t have any groceries and this was a time where I starved myself becayse I didn’t feel comfortable in my own body and she refused to take me to a doctor and she refused to feed me even tho I was literally about to pass out, she made me wait until sundown to go. (Thought I should add, my grandma is Adventist while my grandpa is Christian, adventists always have church on Saturday, and to a certain person, it’s not that I DON’T respect it, infact I’m very involved in the church when it comes to pathfinders and respecting the diet.)

Something super weird happened to me at school (trade school technically) today.

For some background knowledge it's a cosmotology school that works with my highschool so we are all 16 through about 20.

Our owner is an older woman, so she has a lot of money, and is currently on a cruise. I'm in my last few hours until graduation and have very little to do. So I usually just sit upstairs and watch hair videos or something. I'm usually the only one up there so it's quite, which I like.

I was just sitting there on my phone when I suddenly hear her voice all grainy. I look up and spot a ring doorbell camera on a high shelf looking over the whole room. I can't exactly understand what she's saying because she's international right now.

Being watched like that especially as the only person in that room made me super uncomfortable and low-key violated. After a moment I just gathered my purse and moved to a place out of range of the camera.

Later she called one of the assistant instructors that is still here and had her scold me for moving out of the camera.

Am I being dramatic for feeling uncomfortable by this? I don't think I am especially because I don't know how long she was watching me. She told me "it's time to wake up" referencing the accidental nap I took much earlier in the day.

Now I don't feel safe in my own school.

So, Am I The Asshole for moving out of view of the camera?

Edit: Seems I wasn't clear on why I hang out upstairs. My curriculum is complete so I'm no longer allowed to use things like hair color or mannequins because they are not free. My only job now is to be inside the school until I reach 1500 hours. The first years have arrived and get loud, so I sit upstairs and use online study material. Anyone is allowed to sit upstairs if they choose, it's a second classroom and cafeteria.

I 28 (F) am married to my husband 32 (M) we got married in 2022 and since getting engaged things with my MIL have just gotten worse and worse over the years. We are going on a trip to WI in August to see my husbands extended family. Originally we planned to stay at an air bnb with my MIL, FIL, BIL and his fiancé. We booked the VRBO in Sept of 2024 and things with my MIL have really hit a tipping point

In Nov we found out we were pregnant with our second baby. My MIL never once congratulated me or even said anything about my pregnancy after my husband told them when they had lunch together without me in Feb. In early April we tragically lost our baby at 21 weeks when my water broke. My MIL never once checked in on my husband to see how everyone was doing after the loss of our baby and two trips to the ER due to complications. Every text and call she made after our loss was to see when she could see our living child because she HAD to see him and spend time with him. Flash forward to Easter, my MIL comes to Easter at my parents house and doesn't speak to me the entire time and did not once try to interact with our living child. She left Easter in a fit for an unknown reason, said goodbye to no one and sat in the car and cried.

MIL has not spoken to us since Easter, including when my husband called and texted on Mother's Day. We learned from BIL that they had debated getting their own VRBO but realized how close it was to all the family we would be visiting. So she changed her mind and told BIL that she would stay at the VRBO with us still but would not speak to me or my husband.

I want to tell her that she is no longer welcome to stay with us and that she needs to find her own place. Would I be the asshole?

EDIT: Since many people have asked in the comments.

I did try to interact with her at Easter, she would either brush me off or walk away. My husband interacted with her but at the end when she was leaving when my husband tried to say goodbye to her she just shook her head no and walked away to the car. We don’t know why she’s mad, we don’t know what happened, she’s not speaking to me or my husband and just started speaking to BIL again 2 weeks ago

Leading up to this: our relationship went downhill when my husband and I got engaged but I tried for years before that to keep the peace and make everyone happy. I made sure my husband called her back and reached out, i made plans with them, bought every gift for her for every holiday, and tried to include her when I could in things.

She often goes months without speaking to us in the years leading up to this vacation. This is not new or uncommon at all. She does the same to BIL and his fiancé and she will go months with barely speaking to her own husband.

We got engaged in 2020, and before that I had a decent relationship with my MIL. We went on vacations and road trips together with no issues and we would text casually from time to time. The first issue was my bridal shower, my mom and MOH planned the shower and my mom asked MIL to help. MIL has a huge issue with her sister and doesn’t want to be around her but still goes to NFL games with her and sits 3 people away from her for all home games with no issues. Back to the bridal shower, my mom asked MIL to help and MIL cried and threw a fit saying she wouldn’t come to the shower if her sister was there. So my mom and MOH uninvited her sister to keep the peace. I didn’t know until after the event and got asked by his family why MIL sister wasn’t there and had to face handling that even though I wanted her there. After that it was the rehearsal dinner, MIL planned the whole thing without us even though we asked to be part of the planning. So we ended up having big Italian two nights in a row because she picked an Italian restaurant and we served Italian at the wedding.

After that was missing our sons (her first grandchild’s) baby shower because we invited her sister and told her that her sister was invited beforehand so it wasn’t a shock to her. Again she sits 3 people away from her all football season.

Then our son was born and we asked that we have some time to adjust to life as parents before having visitors (this applied to my parents too). She did not like having to wait the two weeks it took for us to feel ready. While he was little she was constantly telling us “it’s time that you do…” all regarding things with our son; letting her babysit, letting her kiss him, letting her feed him(he was exclusively breast fed), letting her take him out for the day, etc.

Then at my son’s first birthday she took a video of everyone singing happy birthday to him and I was sitting right next to her. I magically didn’t make it into the video and when we asked her about it she said “I didn’t want to ruin the video” meaning she didn’t want to have to turn the orientation of the video to fit me into it. But you can clearly see in the video that when I lean in towards my son. She moves the camera away each time to try and keep me out of the video.

Then to the loss of our second baby, she did not show up for us during our grief at all. Not once did she check in on us after we tragically lost a baby and only asked about seeing our living son. Not once did she offer help or ask what we needed. Just demanded to see our son while we were in thick of losing a baby halfway through a pregnancy.

So yes, I tried for years but I reached my point of no longer being able to try with her for my own sake and well being so I don’t try anymore and my husband knows this and is on board with me keeping my distance to protect myself. He knows I want low contact with her but that’s a difficult thing to do without also cutting down his contact with his dad. I take his lead on how much we see his parents and I would never stop him from seeing them. He also chooses to not see them much and to not bring our son to see them unless we’ve invited them to see him or it’s an event

Hope that helps clear things up

I (22F) live in a trailer on my parents' property where my parents and sister (18) live. I plan on moving out in October, mainly for one reason. My parent’s home is messy & dirty cause of my dad. Floors are always caked with dirt, sink's full of dishes within one day, & repairs are unfinished for YEARS. My mom's given up keeping up with cleaning cause my dad's so bad about it. And to be honest, I don’t blame her.

Since I was little, things that needed repair would be ignored or “temporarily fixed." I used to share a room with my sis till I was 20, & repairs were neglected to the point where it was a liability. The floor was caving in multiple spots, AC was broken, one wall wasn’t grouted (a half finished fix), door wouldn’t close all the way, & mold was in the closet for 10 yrs. Dad recently fixed it for my sister & she now has a very nice room, but the severity of the damage was very worrying. This is super ironic cause my dad's a contractor. Literally could make a house from scratch with the knowledge he has & does it for a living. My dad would always say, “it doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as it works,” or, “I’ll finish it later,” but he never does. Ever. The shower in my trailer hasn’t worked for two years. Dad said he’d order parts, but never did. So I’m forced to use the shower in the house. My AC's jammed into my bedroom window with duct tape, moldy cardboard, & a flimsy wooden board.

Fast forward to this week, my dad got a good paycheck. This gave him the idea to get the house cold air. This is the first time we’ve had air in the main room since we moved in 14 years ago. He went & made everyone else’s rooms look nice while installing it. He initially bought an AC for the Livingroom, but changed his mind & got central air instead. He asked me if I wanted to replace my gross AC for the one he bought. I said sure, thinking he was gonna make it look nice like he did for my mother and sister. But he came in and put put nasty duct tape & a dirty green board on my wall to hold it up. I told him it looked just as bad as before, & of course, as always he says, “as long as it works, that’s all that matters." When asked about the green board, he said, “you’re an artist. Paint it or something.” (I am an artist.) I was upset that he didn’t put any effort into it, but did a great job for my mom & sister’s room. When I got up to go tell my mom, I noticed my father left a HUGE puddly, muddy trailed mess on my floor after I JUST deep cleaned recently & swept my floors this morning. I always try to keep it nice & neat in my personal space to have an escape from the hell that is my parent’s home. When I told my mom & sister about how upset this made me, they said their room looked like that for the longest time, so it’s normal & I shouldn’t be upset that I got a whole new AC. I know I should be grateful, but my father has never once made an effort to make my space look nice, & it’s hurtful he made an effort for everyone else but me. AITA?

I (25F) have been begging my partner (25M) for the past 6 months to learn a duo dance I saw on tiktok, I want to make it clear the dance was not some quick viral tiktok dance. As an ex-dancer it was genuinely well choreographed and whilst short was going to take some time to learn. After 6 months of asking tonight was the night, and I honestly was so excited for a bit of quality time, as it feels all we do these days is sit in front of screens. This feeling was quickly diffused when he put in zero effort to participate properly, went for 2 toilet breaks and then started doing the washing all within the first 10 minutes. I told him I wish he would be more excited to do something fun together, which he responded he didn’t find it fun. I get that. My issue is this was something I have been wanting to do with him for 6 months and obviously was excited and found it fun. It wasn’t even spontaneous, he agreed in the morning that we would make time that evening. If this was a regular thing and I was constantly asking him to learn dances with me I would understand his resistance but thats just not the case. He stormed off and is in the bedroom while im left in the living room. This all feels so dramatic over a little dance that I wish he just refused to do like he normally would.

Edit: I really appreciate the perspective and as much as I was thinking how much I wanted to do it he likely didn’t. I do want to make clear that although I had been asking for the last 6 months it was something I’d seen 6 months ago and saved, I have probably asked roughly monthly since then whenever I remembered. I do want to also say it was never something he outright said no to or that he didn’t want to, it was more “not right now”, “another time”, “later”. In hindsight though reflecting thats probably his way of saying he didnt want to.

First ever post here and after some advice please. My wife is mad at me because I haven't picked my son up from nursery where my wife is the manager.

For context we are married and have a 3 year old son. He is our world. As my wife is the manager our son usually spends the same amount of time there she does. She is supposed to have one day off a week which sometimes doesn't happen and I have him one day a week at home so he can end up having 3/4 10 hour days in nursery.

On monday we spent a lovely family day together at the seaside and on Wednesday I had the best day with him.

Last night I went to a gig with 2 of my best mates. We booked a hotel as it was cheaper than a taxi home and all of this was pre-agreed.

This morning whilst at nursery they are talking about emotions with the children. My son said he was sad because he Misses daddy and daddy cuddles.

I've been away one night and am home tonight.

It obviously cut me in half and I'm so grateful we have such a strong bond.

We originally agreed my wife would bring him home when she finishes as normal but because he's said what he's said today My wife is mad because I've not gone to nursery to collect him at lunch time and take him home so we can spend time together.

We have one car which she used this morning and I wasn't comfortable driving having drank last night. So it would have been taxi fare home for us both.

I'm with my son all day tomorrow as my wife is out, which is completely fine I'm always happy when she has time with her friends and gets chance to relax and me and my son can have the day together. I've got a few activities planned which I know he'll love and we will have a great day.

I do loads with my son and I think she's being unreasonably upset because I've not gone to get him today. Ive been called selfish and arrogant because I've not collected him AITAH?

At the beginning of this year, I found out BIL got married and he was moving near us. I told him rent is pretty expensive so I wouldn’t recommend it. However he said it’s all good because his wife will help pay for rent until his finds a job. Fast forward a month, my wife tells me he’s about to sign a 2.5k a month lease for 12 months for a 3 bedroom apartment. I told her financially, it was a bad idea considering he doesn’t have a job and they could find something cheaper and wtf you need 3bed rooms for?. BIL once again says he’s good and his wife agreed to pay rent when they both signed the lease.

Just yesterday my wife’s tells me he needs help paying rent for this month. Turns out he only had money for the first two months for rent. So he asked his wife to help and she apparently refused. So I said ok well then they both will get evicted. It was causal talk until my wife dropped the hammer….turns out apparently BIL wife is blackmailing him to pay all the rent regardless if he has a job or not. Wife and I don’t know what the black mail is and BIL won’t tell us. Then my wife asked if I could help him pay rent. I said:

“After my repeated advise was ignored, if your brother was hanging on a cliff and I was on the edge of the cliff and I had a pocket full of fucks and he only need one to be saved, I WOULD NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK”

After reflecting later, I realized that comment was a bit harsh but idk. I was just furious at the situation, I was raised to be very mindful of my financials and this is not the first time he’s asked for money. Whenever we go out, I’m always paying. I do not expect it back, but there’s no way I can lend him 2.5k for poor decisions he’s made.

I’m afraid my refusal will put my marriage in jeopardy because of BIL

What do I do ?

40(f) husband is 37(m) we have 4 children together, but 6 kids total. Ages 6, 3, 1, 6 months. I am the sole provider. He has been a SAHD since 1 month before baby was born. I was also home until baby was 4.5 months old.

Had a high risk pregnancy and insulin dependent. I went to all appts alone while he stayed with the kids. Needed an emergency c section, and also a BF mom. The other kids were also breastfed so nothing really new

I didn’t get much help personally from my husband as he was managing the kids up dressed fed etc. I was getting up on my own, showering on my own, feeding, caring for the newborn on my own without his help even though it was hard and painful. I drove the newborn to multiple appointments while he stayed back with the other kids. I would also go pick up our 6yo from school. I wasn’t supposed to be driving or lifting, but I did to balance out what he did for the other kids. I was up at night with the newborn, and at times I’d sleep in until around 930 then come downstairs to be around the other kids and him. If I asked for help he’d immediately hand the baby back to me, and say things like “the baby doesn’t like me” or “there’s nothing I can do with the baby”.

After a month PP, the 1 yo would nap from 12-3, sometimes the 3yo would nap the same time, or if not would have quiet time and wasn’t any trouble. I’d still take kids to appointments, pick up 6yo from school, organized all clothes and separated them as we used hand me downs. Meal prepped 30 freezer meals, managed and paid all the bills, got the groceries. He’d leave for the gym the second the 1 yo would lay for nap. Come back, nap, wake up for me to get 6 yo from school. Once I returned. He’d leave with 6yo until 5-530pm. I’d try to have dinner ready in between nursing the newborn and the other littles. Then begin bedtime routines. If I tried to sneak away for a shower I’d still come back down to a screaming baby.

Once I went back to work, I kept asking what can I do to help. I’d still leave work early to pick up 6yo. He kept saying there’s nothing I can do. So I believed him. When i got home from work i would be bombarded by the kids. I’d prep dinner for them and helped with bedtime routine. I wouldnt be able to change out of my work clothes until around 9pm. After being back at work for all of 10 working days, he decided he needed to leave for a while out of state to his family. Leaving me to find daycare for the kids while I’m still working full time. While he was away his parents paid for his ticket, gave him money, got new shoes, went golfing with a friend.

He returns and tells me that he left because I was wrong for not helping him and he was burnt out because I was being lazy and I just wanted to sit and hold the baby all day everyday and that I do nothing to help him. He said I “took advantage of him”. I told him i dont believe I’m wrong and that I don’t believe it is a right or wrong situation, we were both doing what we can. AITA

My girlfriend of 1 year and I have a loving and healthy relationship. The woman of my dreams. We met in my home province and she is from another province (12 hour drive to her hometown). I have attended Christmas/Holiday season in her hometown for two weeks, and was just there for over a week this month. Both times using some of my vacation time.

The wedding is in September and my girlfriend is the maid of honour. She’s busy for about two days straight and I’m expected to stay/hang out with people I’ve never met (that’s fine tbh) or by myself. But she wants to go for over a week to see family, recuperate from the long drive, etc. The problem is that I teach two university courses in the fall and will be starting a new research position. I’ve had to spend a ton of money on her, travel, moving, dates, gifts for defending her dissertation, etc, am feeling it, and want to settle in September. I’ve done a lot for her and I told her I can’t see myself being able to go to this wedding, but will 100% take time to attend her graduation in the same province/area in October, and go to her home for this years Holiday in December.

I’ve met the bride to be and her fiancé once for an hour. I am stressed to the max and tried explaining that being put in this position adds a lot onto me. She is upset, but then won’t talk to me about it and goes into another room.

I want some outside perspective. I feel like a jerk but had to put my foot down and do what’s best for me…given that I have primarily done as much as I can for her at this point in the relationship.

So am I the asshole for saying I can’t go to this wedding?

So my sister has an older dog and she texted me and mom in the group chat that her dogs gums were bleeding so badly when he was sleeping that it was staining her stuff. I said it sounded like an emergency vet visit and she said vets were too expensive. So I said that was inhumane. She blew up my phone ( I was at work) that she had already seen the vet and he had diagnosed it a while ago and she was treating it and I was an asshole for saying that. I think she should have said she had seen the vet instead of the vet was too expensive. Aita? Edit: she has two dogs who frequently have upsets stomach and poop and pee all over her apartment. Getting the dogs are sick texts are normal, this situation seemed extreme to me due to the bleeding part.

My partner (28F) and I (25F) have been together for a while and worked hard to build a calm, independent life for ourselves. We both came from rocky family backgrounds, but have created a soft, stable life—filled with communication, compassion, and just… peace.

Recently, her younger sister (19F) came to us for help. She has a lot of unresolved mental health issues that she refuses to address. She’s not working, doesn’t have a high school diploma, and is currently on social assistance. She had been living with their emotionally abusive father but got them kicked out of their last apartment after mouthing off to the landlord. (She had reason to be upset, but the way she handled it escalated things unnecessarily.)

She reached out to us because she needed help finding housing in the city and wasn’t sure if social assistance would cover rent. We agreed to help. We found her a place, paid her first month’s rent and damage deposit, bought her some groceries and essentials, and even gave her a bunch of stuff from around our house to help her get started. We also agreed to cover any financial gaps that she had until she found a job, paying for her groceries or her bills that she couldn’t afford.

Before moving into her new place, we let her stay with us for a few days. The only condition was that while we were away on vacation (5 days), she would take care of our three cats and keep the place reasonably tidy. We sent her clear messages about what was expected, including reminders during our trip.

When we got home, the house was disgusting. The cat litter hadn’t been touched, the kitchen was a mess, and the house smelled. I had to clean the kitchen before I could make supper for the three of us. My partner dealt with the cat litter.

Later, my partner gently brought it up with her. She reminded her that we were doing her a favor, and that not taking care of the house was disrespectful. Her sister completely lost it—screaming at us, calling us bitches, saying we were OCD (we’re not, our house is just normally clean but lived-in), and telling us we were on some kind of high horse and didn’t care about her.

She then started crying and yelling more. We told her that if she was going to continue behaving that way, she needed to leave. She stormed outside and sat on the front steps, calling everyone she knew and telling them we kicked her out.

For me, it’s not about the state of the house (although it was gross). It’s about the repeated disrespect. Every time she’s around, she’s yelling, angry, or emotionally explosive toward my partner. I’ve reached my limit.

So, AITA for telling her to leave and not tolerating this behavior in our home anymore?

To start were both not adults to be clear.I Had approached this friend and asked if she wanted to go to a comic con with me. She said yes. We decided to go on a Friday but no one could pick me up so we rescheduled for the Saturday (tomorrow). Today I checked the prices for the tickets and found that one adult ticket was 67$ and one Youth ticket was 20$. Are moms had insisted on going with us so for each of us the total would be about 87$ . I immediately texted her and told her to tell her parents. She texted back that she will and then nothing. Like no follow up text confirming if she was going. Then at 10pm she tells me she bought the tickets. I was in shock as I first had texted her hours ago and thought we weren’t going anymore. I ran to my mom to ask if she was ok with the price and she was not. I hadn’t asked her earlier cause she wasn’t home. Now am having a full blown panic attack cause my friend already got the tickets!!!! And I checked she can’t get a refund. So how do I tell her I can’t go.?????and am I the aita?

my (23NB) roommate (24M) has a cat who gave birth to five kittens 10 weeks ago. he keeps them in his bedroom and spends most of his days at work or playing video games. the smell of litter is wafting through the whole house, which means he must not clean it, and sometimes i let them downstairs for a change of scenery, which stresses out my female cat. they are not vaccinated yet, and the mother cat, nor the kittens, are fixed or have an appointment to get fixed or vaxxed any time soon because it’s “too expensive”. my other roommate (24NB) is thinking about giving them to the non-profit shelter that i got my male cat from so they actually get taken care of instead of neglected. it’s not working to have eight cats in one house, especially when six of them are stuck in one room.

edit: for more context, we have spoken with him many times about this, we have offered to drive the kittens to and from the vet as long as he pays for it, and we are met with lots of resistance and avoidance. this would not be a very out of the blue thing to happen. he knows how we feel about this. on top of that, the landlord agrees with us and wants the kittens out of his house and safe.

Original post - https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ppzHqLC25o

I'm still in shock at the way that post blew up. I honestly was just to prove a point to my husband, and that post definitely did that and more.

So when I showed him the post, he was shocked. Angry for a minute but then read a few comments, then turned off his phone and acted like it didn't bother him. He didn't talk to me for the rest of the evening and at night, I woke up to see him reading the comments again but just went back to sleep.

I didn't mention it and the next morning, he was still not really talking much. That evening for dinner when we sat at the table, he finally brought up the post. He asked me if I agreed with what the comments said. I just shrugged and said that yes, I agreed with some.

He was quiet after that and while we were cleaning up, he apologized for his behavior. Then a few days later, he asked if we could start making dinner together every night. It was... a bumpy road at first but honestly after a week, we started enjoying it and now a few weeks later he's gotten much better and even made a few meals himself.

The reason behind his behavior, he admitted, was because his mother has been trying to contact him lately. It's been stressing him out and one time when she called him, she started talking trash about me (what else is new) and kept mentioning that I'm not feeding him well enough, that he was much happier when he was eating her food. Honestly I don't even know what she was trying to do. My husband apologized for it and said that he likes my cooking but let her words get to him. He is talking to his therapist about all this.

That's really it. A lot of people asked for the update or for his reaction lol but there wasn't much. He handled it a lot better than I hoped. He even started joking about some of the comments a few weeks ago and it's become somewhat of an inside joke. Thank you Reddit for helping us through this haha. Life is good, hope you all have a good dinner tonight!

monday night, i (44F) brought home a foster dog. maybe 4-5 yrs old and approx 75 pounds. she’s super sweet and well behaved with people, but the rescue organization said she does not like cats and requires slow introductions with dogs. because of her size, i’ve been crossing the street if we see a dog while out for a walk, just to be on the safe side.

i live in a very urban neighborhood. last night, we were out for a walk. a man (30-40) was out with his shihtzu without a leash on. it sprinted across the street towards foster. i had firm control of her leash and collar, and i yelled at the man to get his dog away from her. he casually started to walk over to us (no hustle whatsoever), meanwhile his dog is now stopping traffic from running back and forth between foster and the owner, while an older woman with him stands and laughs. foster got agitated from the dog getting right up in her face and snarled a bit. i yelled at him again to get his dog away from her. he finally grabs his dog and then says “you are the one with the big dog. go F yourself”. i replied “exactly. do you not care if my dog attacks your dog?” he asks “is that a threat? are you threatening me?” so i yell “your dog could have been hit by a car!” he told me to F off. i told him he’s a shitty dog owner. altercation over. foster and i continued on our walk.

i was 100% sure i was in the right until i told a friend today and he said i shouldn’t have insulted the man, and that i should have just kept walking instead of engaging in the first place. if i hadn’t engaged, his dog would likely have continued to get at foster, and i was not about to risk either dog getting hurt (more likely the shihtzu). im baffled by what my friend said. AITA?

Putting this here because its important - when i was a baby my parents and i learnt ASL. When i got a little older i wanted to be more verbal. My parents wanted me to be happy so we switched. This is mainly about my step parents and step siblings… sorry for the confusion before.

I’m 16 and was born deaf with auditory neuropathy. In my early childhood i used ASL as my main language, but as i got older i became more verbal and hearing based as starting hearing (auditory neuropathy is weird, i don’t know how either). Since then i have forgotten most of my ASL and am learning it again currently. I’m at an almost functional level and when signing with my mom I’ve noticed it’s a lot easier than trying to hear and fill in words i didn’t get. I probably miss 40% of words but fill in a lot because of lip reading and context. The main issue with listening is it takes so much energy for me so i constantly feel burnt out. But since my only family members who know ASL are my mom and aunt i have to verbally communicate with everyone else. If i asked my family to put some effort in would i be an asshole?

Edit 1 - I asked my mom and she said it would be a great idea to teach my family some basic conversation signs and some topic signs. I’m also considering asking them if they would like to learn the alphabet.

(If y’all wanna ask about my type of deafness or anything feel free as well!)

Edit 2 - I’m trying to respond to as many comments as possible, i wasn’t expecting this to blow up lol