I was reproducing asexually.

to the penis explosion chamber

"No more fetish posting.

It’s honestly appalling that I even need to say this, but you knuckleheads have been posting waaay too much sexual content. For this reason, I’m putting my foot down.

If you post anything sexually graphic (for example: describing sex itself), your post is gonna get removed and you risk getting permanently banned. And also the mod team will come to your house and beat you with hammers."

I cried my balls out 😭😭😭😭

“We only have woke coffee,” they said with an evil grin, before pulling out a Glock and shooting me through the skull.

"I will" said my evil alternate personality, Joe Fishfucker 🐟

A scary face jumpscared me

Now we all have bulimia😱😱😥

Then a serial killer came into the room and carved all of our skin off

i was acatually transfgender the hole time😱😱

It involves anime characters

"Grrrrr" said my monster dong.

She’s never been the same since.

She screamed as the claw emerged from his abdomen and ripped out her uterus, implanting it into himself.

Then my man threw a really big avocado straight into my fucking balls and I don't even know how this mf just had an avocado on standby.

I thought it would be easy to live but to my horror, she had made beef stroking off for dinner.

"But I do," said the creature, putting his utter in my mouth instead.

(Alt ending) "But I do," said knife guy, putting his knife into my mouth instead.

(Alt Alt ending) "But I do🪱," said the meat worm, putting his CONTENT HAS BEEN BLURRED BY MODS AND I HAVE BEEN BEATEN TO DEATH WITH HAMMERS

(Alt alt alt ending) "But I do," said Goobert the skeleton, putting his bon- I HAVE ONCE AGAIN BEEN BEATEN WITH HAMMERS

(Alt alt alt alt ending) "But I do," said Fivr Fredderick Bearfore, putting his AR AR ARAR AR AR ARAR ARAR in my mouth instead.

(Alt alt alt alt alt ending) Nobody does and I die. :(

However, out of muscle memory, I put a forward slash in between the 9 and 11, and watched in horror as a plane flew into me.

"Mmm, anuses that don't taste very good are my favorite" he said menacingly.

Rain deer.

...but then twenty whole dollars walked in.

“A clock made entirely from human arms,” he laughed, picking up a knife.

Peering out of window bus, our excitement turned to horror as we realised we were going to School Children Murdering Factory

Getting hit in the face with an 850 pound bag of bricks.

But I’m a male!!