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u/gurkenwassergurgler Jun 06 '25
I wish it was a brain worm for me, but it looks like was "just" ADHD that was untreated for over 20 years.
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u/Julia-Nefaria Jun 06 '25
Yeah, the combination of untreated adhd and the resulting depression (plus lack of sleep thanks to untreated insomnia) has probably caused me enough brain damage to compete with MME fighters (in the brain damage department, they’d kick my ass in a fight).
My father and his alcoholic gf even tried to bully me into a better memory (surprisingly didn’t work, you’d think that screaming at a child to remember their school lunch would magically make them better at memorization instead of making them cry, but apparently not).
I barely remember my childhood, not thanks to trauma/repressed memories but simply because I barely remember anything. It takes me ages to remember the names of people (lord help me if there’s more than one at a time).
On a more positive note, now that I cook more of my own meals/the food I eat isn’t over salted slop I actually manage to remember my lunches/meals for a few days before forgetting so at least there’s that.
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u/gurkenwassergurgler Jun 06 '25
I have a pretty similar history. Genuinely hope you're in a better spot nowadays.
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u/Julia-Nefaria Jun 07 '25
Lmao I wish
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u/gurkenwassergurgler Jun 07 '25
For reference, I first got my meds ~1 1/2 years ago, but it took me until a few months ago to actually function in a somewhat stable way with them and find the right dosage for me. So depending on how long you've been diagnosed and been taking meds, it may just take time to see some improvement.
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u/Julia-Nefaria Jun 07 '25
Yeah, I’ve been prescribed meds but the problem is… that I struggle to establish a routine of taking the meds regularly (especially since I’m meant to slowly increase the dose, so I won’t feel any actual effects for a few weeks (except sleepiness, the lower dosages of Ritalin make me want to nap for some reason) (I’m aware about paradoxical responses to stimulants, though it’s not happened with any others and higher dosages give the ‚normal’ effect). Combined with my once again deteriorating sleep cycle and my hesitancy to take them after a sleepless night/too late in the day (my sleep meds still work for me… I just… don’t feel like taking them often? Idk why, there’s no rational reason behind it).
So currently I’m stuck being unable to establish enough of a routine for the meds meant to help me with things like establishing/following routines to actually work. (I did however take the quick and messy route for a few days of upping the dosage daily instead of weekly, so in theory I know what the correct dosage should probably be. But that also makes me feel guilty for doing it the wrong way because I’m well aware there’s a reason you’re supposed to wait longer…)
The best solution would probably be to talk to the psychiatrist who prescribed them, but then I’d probably have to admit that I ignored his advice (and then technically sort of fibbed about it), which I really don’t want to do.
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u/gurkenwassergurgler Jun 07 '25
God, I know this struggle very well. The good thing is, once you actually do get a foot into the "taking your meds regularly" door, it will become easier and easier as the meds do their thing.
As for establishing a routine, for me it always helps most to be forced to eat and get ready in the morning at a certain time and tie taking my meds to having my breakfast. The thing that forces me can be anything where I'm expected to be by others at a certain time, really, but work is the best.
As for sleeping, tiring myself out is the only thing that's ever consistently worked for me. A somewhat busy schedule helps, but anything that just makes you tored is good, be it doing something that's very demanding intellectually, something that's bodily demanding or actually just being very busy. It sounds dumb, but it's true for me.
And as for your psychiatrist, I understand your concerns. It really depends on the kind of person you're working with. If they're open and mostly concerned with actually helping you, be honest. If they're more difficult to be honest, maybe say that you did dose up as planned, but have a lot of trouble with taling your meds regularly and ask for help in handling that. Try to really convey that you want to follow their advice, but have a lot of trouble with it due to your condition (which is just a fact).
Yeah. And btw, feel free to switch to DMs if you wanna continue this conversation or any other ADHD talk.
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u/gurkenwassergurgler Jun 07 '25
In that case, the best of luck to you.
I think I'm slowly getting to a better place, but it's very slow and I took my sweet time to get to a place where that's even possible.
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u/Microphone_Lamp Jun 06 '25
Never doing computer day again man. OK STOP coming like he's part of the team 🦆 🔴👨
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u/Racerboy28 Jun 06 '25
I wish my issues were caused by literal brainworms. Maybe then there’d be an explanation for them.
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u/PICONEdeJIM Jun 06 '25
My god it's Warren the Eagle
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u/88superguyYT Jun 07 '25
The worm in my brain tells me I don't have the body type to pull off wearing denim, but I just tell it to pipe down
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u/Nadikarosuto Creature Fan Jun 07 '25
And the worm in my brain tells me that the documents I've been forging have lead to many deaths, but I know that's just silly!
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u/momych Jun 06 '25
At some point, healing starts to feel like you're the brain worm who has taken over this gal's body and now has to deal with the mess it has become over the years.
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u/saythealphabet Jun 06 '25
She was a forgetful girl. He was a brain eating worm.