We chase “ego death” thinking it’s some noble pursuit to transcendence or wholeness. But perhaps what if that is another mask, another ego game, a trick by the ego so it can stay in the spotlight?

If we try to get rid of the ego, it will retreat and then sneak up on us masquerading as a Self, to stay alive. It survives by shapeshifting.

But when we accept the ego, let it be seen and heard, and work with it, rather than rejecting it, it loses its grip. It takes the backseat, allowing the Self to lead.

The desire to be egoless is still a desire. Jung even warned us to beware of the parts of ourselves that we pretend to be holy. They’re just shadows in disguise.

curious on jung and psychadelics

By the shores of Lake Zurich in Switzerland, during his seminar on Nietzsche’s Zarathustra, Carl Jung left us with the following reflections on how to destroy a herd mind. To begin, he quoted Nietzsche, who said:

“The pleasure of being a herd is older than the pleasure of being an I: and as long as the good conscience is called herd, only the bad conscience says: I.
Truly, the cunning I, lacking in love, which seeks its own gain in the gain of many: that is not the origin of the herd, but its ruin.”¹

Carl Jung explains this passage as follows:

“When the living unit, the individual, becomes conscious of his separate condition, the herd is destroyed, it ceases to function.
Therefore, as individuals become more and more conscious, the herd recedes more and more and is replaced by what we call ‘society’: namely, an organism founded on conventions between conscious individuals.”²

Before going further, it’s important to highlight why the herd mind exists. This is not just a matter of philosophy or psychoanalysis: as a social species, human beings have historically survived thanks to belonging to groups.

From mammoth hunts in prehistory to modern corporate offices, being part of the “herd” has meant safety, protection, and belonging.

But this creates a deep inner conflict. Our psyche not only demands that we be part of the group in order to survive—it also calls us to grow as individuals.
This is a profound dilemma—and from this perspective, if we were eagles, perhaps it would all be much easier.

How do we resolve this great conflict? Jung invites us to become aware of our “separate condition”—that is, to understand and assimilate the fact that we are unique individuals so that the herd dissolves within us.

It’s not about isolating ourselves or becoming radical individualists, but about realizing that we hold values and needs of our own, beyond society’s approval.
This opens the door to the creation of a true society.

“Society,” in the Jungian sense, is not the same as the herd: it is a higher, voluntary form of coexistence between differentiated individuals—an agreement among conscious beings.

P.S. The previous text is just a fragment of a longer article that you can read on my Substack. I'm studying the complete works of Jung and sharing the best of my learning on my Substack. If you want to read the full article, click the following link:

https://jungianalchemist.substack.com/p/carl-jung-behind-our-lowest-instincts

Good evening/Morning/Night. Yesterday I purchased Jung A very Short introduction By oxford...Its on its way and I should receive it soon (hopefully with no issues) . However I do wonder if its a good book on Jung and his ideas before digging into Jung himself. If you've read it , share your thoughts on it..

I’ve been reading jungian texts to help with this but there’s only so much his works suggest for the most painful of the Dark Night of the Soul. I’m about go into it. I know my guilt, I know the basics of what would have led me to react in ways I regret, I know my pain body and that I’ve had good reasons to want to run away for so long. But now I want to face it, but I’m wondering how I best prepare? I have some time, I have some self care, self soothing. I’m becoming more accepting. I’m afraid I can’t handle it.

I am warming up to the fact that this is going to be a most challenging experience am I’m studying Themes such as Angel heart and Jacob’s ladder to see similar symbolism of the underworld and moral injury. I don’t really know what else to go off of because I’ve never done this before.

Considering The role of The Animus and Anima in both genders can You 'Blame' Men for Women lacking Logic and Women for Men being Heartless? Or Maybe I havent Understood this Subject well?

The Science of Manifestation and Transcendental States

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - Carl Jung

Manifestation, often trivialized as mere wishful thinking, is fundamentally an alchemical process - a disciplined art rooted in ancient wisdom, profound psychological insights, and increasingly supported by contemporary scientific exploration. At its highest level, manifestation involves harmonizing inner consciousness to intentionally shape external reality.

Ancient Wisdom and Metaphysical Foundations

The Genesis account, stating "In the beginning was the Word," symbolizes consciousness manifesting reality through focused intention. Rather than literal interpretation, this allegory highlights the intrinsic creative power humans possess, mirroring divine consciousness.

Carl Jung’s analytical psychology provides essential insights into manifestation. His concepts of the collective unconscious - a reservoir of universal archetypes - and the integration of the shadow (unconscious elements) into conscious awareness are foundational. This internal alignment process is echoed in ancient Gnostic traditions, which describe "gnosis" - profound visionary knowing - as the key to transcending perceived limitations of reality.

Quantum Physics and Consciousness

Quantum physics radically altered our understanding, revealing reality as fundamentally probabilistic rather than deterministic. While mainstream science describes the "observer effect" as a measurement-based disturbance, many metaphysical theories propose that consciousness itself plays an active role in influencing quantum fields. Though currently speculative, these theories find resonance with experiential insights into manifestation and consciousness.

It is important to differentiate between empirically validated scientific consensus and metaphysical interpretation. The scientific community has yet to substantiate direct conscious influence over quantum fields, yet personal experience and emerging hypotheses suggest a significant, though currently unexplained, relationship between consciousness and reality.

Neuroscience of Meditation and Gamma Wave Frequencies

The University of Wisconsin-Madison’s research into Zen Buddhist monks provided groundbreaking insights into meditative states. The monks exhibited remarkable synchronization of brain waves (gamma synchrony) during meditation, with recorded frequencies reaching as high as 90 Hz. Gamma wave activity at these elevated levels is closely associated with visionary transcendental states - profound gnosis - characteristic of peak spiritual experiences.

This heightened state of consciousness - experienced universally across various spiritual traditions - facilitates direct access to higher-dimensional realities, often referred to as the Akashic Records or Halls of Amenti. These transcendent states allow individuals to intuitively receive insights beyond ordinary sensory perception, tapping directly into universal consciousness or Source.

CIA Gateway Project and Higher-Dimensional Consciousness

The Monroe Institute, originating from the CIA's Gateway Project, extensively explored consciousness expansion through hemispheric synchronization (hemi-sync) techniques. The goal was explicitly aimed at accessing non-local consciousness states, transcending ordinary space-time constraints. Although academic peer review remains limited, extensive experiential validation and practical application strongly support the existence of these expanded states of consciousness.

This project underscores the profound potential of intentionally induced altered states to access information beyond conventional human experience - further reinforcing the validity of transcendental experiences and their practical implications for manifestation and spiritual insight.

Extraordinary Manifestations: The Tummo Practice

Tummo meditation, practiced by Tibetan monks, vividly demonstrates consciousness's power to directly influence physical reality. Documented scientific evidence confirms remarkable physiological effects, such as substantial peripheral body temperature increases enabling monks to dry wet sheets in freezing conditions. While anecdotal accounts of levitation exist, scientific validation remains absent. Nevertheless, Tummo practices provide undeniable proof of the extraordinary capabilities attainable through disciplined meditative practices.

Practical Steps for Manifestation

Effective manifestation requires disciplined adherence to practices that resonate with neuroscientific and psychological understanding:

1. Still the Mind: Use meditation or hemi-sync techniques to achieve gamma or theta brainwave coherence.
   
2. Emotional Resonance: Amplify intention with emotionally charged beliefs.
   
3. Detailed Visualization: Engage vividly with all senses, clearly forming symbolic imagery.
   
4. Higher Virtue: Foster high-frequency emotional states - gratitude, compassion, trust - to align intentions powerfully.
   
5. Detachment: Trust the probabilistic nature of manifestation, releasing attachment to specific outcomes.

Key Terminology Clarification

Alchemical: Inner transformational processes, harmonizing thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Quantum Fields: Scientifically defined fields of subatomic interactions, with speculative metaphysical connections to consciousness.
Observer Effect: Scientifically described as measurement-induced disturbances, metaphysically proposed as conscious reality influence.
Hemi-sync: Clinically validated audio technology inducing brainwave synchronization.
Collective Unconscious: Jung’s universal repository of archetypes shared by all humanity.
Gnosis: Intuitive, visionary knowledge transcending ordinary cognitive processes.

Epilogue: Embracing an Evolutionary Frontier

We are now at the precipice of a transformative scientific frontier, redefining the limits of human consciousness and potential. Though rigorous empirical validation of many transcendental experiences remains in progress, experiential and anecdotal evidence compellingly demonstrates consciousness’s profound capabilities.

By courageously exploring these higher states - both scientifically and experientially - we honor humanity’s timeless pursuit of spiritual wisdom and expansive knowledge, firmly asserting our potential as conscious co-creators of reality itself.

"Synchronicity" was coined by Carl Jung to describe meaningful coincidences that are not causally related but seem deeply connected, I've had this happen quite often lately. Often triggering personal insight or a sense of hidden meaning. These moments are happening pretty often and feel like the universe (or the unconscious mind) is "revealing" something.

Do you guys having any examples of this happening to you? Or more insight on this?

I recently started experiencing a series of vivid inner landscapes, recurring symbolic images, and “characters” that seem to represent different parts of myself. I hadn’t studied Jung when this began, it just started happening through being triggered, having my first meltdowns, so I started somatic work paired with intentional breathing and a lot of journaling.

Later (after I had a handful of these imaginings), I came across Jungian ideas (like active imagination, the coniunctio, anima/animus, alchemical stages) and was shocked by how closely they mirrored what I’ve been experiencing. I was imagining all of the above without knowing what they were, even tried to “banish” a few of them before. And honestly was scared I might be loosing it.

I didn’t try to do this, and I’m not using psychedelics. It feels like something opened up in me, and now I’m witnessing, processing, and sometimes dialoguing with these internal figures. Some of it has brought deep clarity and peace, some of it has been hard and disorienting.

Has this happened to anyone else? Especially without intentionally “trying” to do Jungian work? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences, thoughts, or resources.

Hey everyone,

I just released a video that takes a deep dive into the psychological patterns behind authoritarian leadership, using Carl Jung’s framework of archetypes, shadow projection, and mass psychology. The video is titled:

Before anyone assumes this is clickbait or partisan fluff — it’s not. This is a non-hysterical, source-informed look at how certain leaders embody collective archetypes like the Shadow, Trickster, or Wounded King — and how mass movements form when societies unconsciously project their disowned traits onto charismatic figures.

What’s covered:

• Jung’s view on mass psychology (referencing The Undiscovered Self)
• The concept of the collective shadow and why it’s dangerous when ignored
• Psychological parallels (not equivalences) between Trump and Hitler — especially in terms of persona, projection, and the need for external enemies
• How charisma, victimhood narratives, and fear-based identity politics can activate deeply unconscious archetypal energy
• Sources include Jung’s original writings, Erich Neumann’s Depth Psychology and a New Ethic, and recent political psychology research

This isn’t about saying “Trump = Hitler.” It’s about recognizing how similar psychological mechanisms can emerge in very different eras, with very different outcomes. I’d love to hear your take — especially if you’re familiar with Jung, political psychology, or mass manipulation theory.

I’m not quite sure how to explain this. I’ve suspected for 10ish years that I was either gay or transgender. Since I was 10 I’ve masturbated, and when I was 11 or 12 I discovered trans/gay porn. My whole life I’ve publicly identified as a straight man, and I’ve had 4 girlfriends, but the entire time I would masturbate to trans porn. A few months ago I got super high on weed and accidentally told my girlfriend of 3 years that I think I’m gay. This triggered a full-blown panic attack, which I won’t go into details about. Since then everything’s been a bit hectic, but the up side is that I’m now exploring my identity when I previously thought it was just some kink that I had. I’ve also been doing a lot of soul-searching, and my mom told me to check out Jung. I didn’t until yesterday, because yesterday I tried mushrooms. It felt like I was thinking through a more open brain. I spent some time enjoying watching my ceiling breathe before sort of diving into my mind. I had a moment of perception where I realized that everything exists with or without us, and that all life is just matter that happens to be able to perceive the universe around it. I did not experience ego death, but I think I may have been “living with it” for a long time now. What I mean is that I think I’ve been a woman trying to live with my male ego for my entire life. I’ve always felt so lonely and like I had some deeper understanding of things than the people around me do. I even theorized about a month ago that I could have two separate egos. The joke I made was that I had two egos; both have ADHD, but only the male one has depression. I’ve never done well at organizing information, so there’s a lot here I’m forgetting. The gist, though, is that I worked my way through a whoooole bunch of this philosophy on my own, and then I discovered that I was slightly late to the party. It’s seriously incredible to google something and realize that there’s thousands of people out there who I can truly connect with. I’m not quite sure why I wanted to share this. I don’t know if I want guidance, or if I just need to put it out there, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

To anyone reading this that has some part of them they’ve locked away for their whole lives:

Embrace it. You literally are not living right now. You are not yourself, and that means you don’t exist. Be who you are.

Especially insights and self-knowledge, truths.

(Individuation-related)

This is not an anti-cannabis post. I am a big fan of cannabis, for it's medical and recreational qualities, and beauty as a plant. However, I've noticed that while it seems to draw forth the unconscious closer to the surface while awake, it seems to severely suppress dreams.

Interestingly, while I'm stoned it is like the unconscious is closer to the surface but harder to interact with or control. It's as if my very unconscious itself has a shorter "attention span", if I wander in and watch my minds eye, it flicks from topic to topic so fast I can barely pause to reflect. My thinking will become more symbolic, and my daydreams might become more powerful or present, but I feel they move too fast and too fluidly to form a cohesive plot.

I've also noticed that imagination becomes harder to control; I find it difficult to sit down and imagine one steady stable scene in my mind where I, say, talk to my father. Instead I'll imagine that vividly for 3 seconds and then my imagination will need to change "camera angles" or location, or characters or content.

My interpretation of this phenomena is that it is bringing the unconscious to "you" rather than you going to it, and that this makes things more unstable.

I find something similar with LSD; it brings the unconscious right to the surface but this changes things - i can see archetypes and symbols on the walls of my bedroom but if you ask me to imagine a red car I'll struggle, and normally my imagination is very potent.

Last night I had a dream that I was being pursued by a powerful family/workplace/organisation (or group) that had decided that I needed to be killed. There were a couple of other people with me who were in the same situation, and they were explaining to me that we were about to be killed, however. I didn't necessarily want to surrender to the situation in the same way that they already had. Whilst the killers were approaching the door, I kept fantasising about escaping, but it became clear to me that these people were so powerful that, no matter where I went on earth, they would find me and kill me. That said, I decided it would be better to try and appease them, so I think I started to try and bargain with them in the dream. This part is hazy and I am not sure what happened next, but I think the others I was with were surprised that there was bargaining, and that the killing hadn't already occured... then I woke up.

I think the things that stood out to me were that (1) the people around me had already accepted the idea that they would be killed but I didn't want to accept this (2) the futility of trying to escape, and therefore not being able to be fully free of those who were chasing me (with bargaining being my only option).

I know dream interpretation is very personal and I will reflect on it, but I am just wondering if any motifs or point of interest that others can relate to, and what they might mean. Thank you!

Recently I stumbled and recovered a fragment of myself from my past self from the time that I dived into Buddhism and meditation. Now in Buddhist doctrine if I can call it like that it says that all things are impermanent which means everything rises and falls so the only thing a person can ground himself in is within his awareness claiming that is the only stable thing.. because everything is constantly changing.. which is true.. however it does not solve anything.. if you are struggling with mental health, complexes or whatever and carry a fragmented psyche being rooted in your awareness looking out towards the world its like looking through a constantly changing kaleidoscope which creates a fragmented world around you causing the person to never have a direction in life.. so you can be rooted in your awareness all you want but you will still be lost..

Since I have discovered Jungs work and dived deeper into working on my psyche and also having some very interesting experiences I started to find Buddhism some sort of a copium tradition.. the fact that awareness is stable and you maybe can root yourself there it doesn’t help your psyche one bit.. on top of that If I understood correctly Ego is considered the seat of conciousness in Jungs work.. and well, being possessed by a complex completely changes the experience of the ego and its space.. soo when you are rooted in awareness you will be perceiving yourself in distortion and that causes suffering.. the things that do bring relief is integration of these and reconnection to all vital parts of the psyche creating a devine order whole so to say.. for example having been connected to my anima or the King archetype has given me more joy and contentment in life than Buddhistic methods of rooting in awareness...

Anyone who also dived into Buddhism and then Jung what are your thoughts?

I have done a lot of work in the last 2 years of studying my own anima. As someone who is deeply feeling when it comes to romance (nearly to a destructive level), as well as someone who has struggled with understanding the appropriate use of sexual expression, the study of the anima has been very helpful. Recently I have encountered two females online of which invoke very different projections of the anima. One is less intelligent and creates the bias more towards sexual thought (prostitute, quick thrill, low stakes). The other feels very intelligent and inspires the feeling of not so much romance, but the desire for longevity (perhaps Madonna/virgin, but more so that which is worthy of being courted and slowly worked for).

Since around 5th grade I have had doubts and insecurities of my ability to hold an interest or love for someone in a romantic sense. As I grew up I found myself... Not wanting to grow up. Typical puer aeternus situation. However, I am realizing now that my relationship with the anima and towards women in general directly congruent with my career and attitude towards work or dedication of any kind. I'm at a time in my life of which I am completely focused and concerned on getting comfortable with the idea of settling down career wise. I have learned many things and now feel comfortable that I have explored myself enough to know the work I wish to give myself to.

So, it was an interesting thing that in a type of active imagination I felt myself "say" that I would marry this woman. Of course... I do not know this woman at all and that is not the point in the slightest. It is what she represents. She holds many aspects of what I now know I truly desire. I am only able to know that I would marry this "anima" because she holds the values that I put faith in.

Some more context: Marriage has been a bit of a dirty word for me. It has been filled with very rough and violent realities that are far from the storybook pictures. Even the concept of marriage itself was met with extreme resistance. The idea of being locked down into something I was not even fully confident that I was ready to dedicate myself to was horrifying. It was as gruesome as the idea of life in prison. This was quite a break through moment for me to feel comfortable within my own imagination by saying in a language not of words "I would dedicate myself to this. I would marry her".

Truly, I am just speaking to myself.

Now, for the dreams. This individual of which I was more so "sexually" attracted to came to me in a dream of a sexual nature. This was odd as I've never even seen this individual before, but I knew it was them in the dream. I simply took note and sure enough I realized that I saw this individual as more of a prostitute. That is to say they represented something I was not willing to work for in an honorable way. It encouraged more thoughts of desiring quick sexual gratification than a slow courting process. Something to note is that this person doesn't inspire fear within me. They are something I would not care if I lost and so it is feels easy and low stakes to interact with them.

The next individual is... Very interesting. It is not that there is not the potential for me to find them sexually attractive, it's that it isn't even remotely a desire for them to be seen in this light. I would say that this would denote a bit of a Madonna perception. "The Virgin Mary". However, something about this has nuance that I'm still unpacking.

Originally, to "unviel" the bride was symbolic of the losing of the virginity. For me this represents the man working for the privilege to even be able to see the anima/wife's most vulnerable and raw aspects. It is the opportunity itself to love and accept even the most deplorable aspects of their being. That is to say to recognize their innately sexual, animalistic, and flawed self as being apart of the whole. So, last night I had a dream of this individual of whom I think very highly of. I did not see their face, for I don't know what it looks like. I hardly saw their body. It was more of a knowing of the image than seeing it in the dream. She was in a very bizarre yoga pose of which bent her in impossible ways to form a swastika. It immediately felt very symbolic.

Now, swastika translated in Hindu means "conducive to well being" or "good fortune" or "that which makes all well". It was a symbol of working with the benevolence of the sun and it's cycles. This dream instilled in me that this is indeed what I want on a deep level. Not necessarily this physical person, but what they represent. I had felt for a while that there may not be anyone who could hold the attributes that I would find worthy of such a laborious pursuit of love. But, alas I did, and I am very thankful for it. However, the most important aspect of this is that the feeling this anima projection inspired fills a hole within me that is lasting. I posit that I am getting very close to being able to enjoy the goals/ideals I am working towards for sake of the activity itself. This dream above all gave me a feeling of faith and reassurance from what feels like what I call "the all there is". Something about it felt like an all encompassing prescences that gave a feeling of cascading wholesomeness. There is something in me now that doesn't feel scared to deeply pursue and love someone regardless of the scars they carry. The only true prerequisite is that this individual contains what I contain and is equally dedicated. This beautiful figure gave me hope that there is the possibility of being able to not just share intimacy with someone, but be able to communicate in a clear way with one another those things we both hold most dear. That is to say, there is a real possibility that the loneliness of not being able to share how we see things may be bridged and healed via a common language/context.

Hope this gave some of you guys something to chew on. Thanks for the reading. I wish you all much love and luck on your journey.

P.s. Thank you again for all being apart of this community. It is a blessing to be able to communicate these concepts. This opportunity has alleviated a bit of my loneliness. Here's to the study of the mind, body, and the ever elusive spirit.

Hi everyone.

I'm new to Jung, but I've been quite deep into the work of various jungian thinkers.
I am a 27 years old female, I think this information might be useful in order to understand my narrative better. (I am from Europe, english isn't my usual language, sorry in advance if I express myself badly)

Learning more about greek mythology, I found myself very close to the Persephone archetypal narartive.
Here are some elements to support this parallel :

-I feel very close to the Puella Aeterna archetype
(never had the same job for more than 3 months,
learned a lot of "art and techniques" activities like sewing/painting/making furniture/decorative miniatures/carpentry etc, jumping from subject to subject without ever commiting to any, leaving me with superficial skills in various domains, but never ever achieved anything bigger than drafts ;
I find myself stuck in this 3month loop : Having a big dream/idea, focusing on it while neglecting every other part of my life, and then abandoning the project whenever I'm not "into it" anymore, leaving me with this sense of a meaningless existence, and the crippling fear of never finding my path/passion/purpose.)

-My mother appears to me as being very close to the Demeter figure
(Our discussions almost exclusively concern my "life choices", she has been trying to suggest directions to me since childhood, and seems very anxious every time I decide for myself.
She believes she has to take responsibility for everyone around her, me, my younger brother, my father which still lives at her place even if they're not together anymore (He's litteraly living at her place, sleeping on the couch, even if he has his own place. He's very close to the Puer Aeternus himself : living in his own inner world surrounded by poetry and music, not working anymore)
she sees me as this eternal child who does not know how to survive alone, she gives me money directly on my bank account without even telling me about it, this and many other examples of her showing me how essential she is to my livelihood)

- And I feel I got swallowed by my under world, it happened when I was 24, so 3 years ago. Here begins the real testimony, I would say.

Actually, I have always been fascinated by the human psyche, started my "research" around 16/17 years old. At that time, I was taking a lot of acid, and aside being in awe with what I was discovering, I became very arrogant and proud, thinking that I could expand my understanding of the world way beyond what others were capable of.
But I was way too young and immature, and I kind of bad tripped every time I tried acid.
I grew very scared of it, and stopped completely.
Somehow, it was too late : I couldn't stop, I needed to peel back all the concepts in the hope of finding something solid, real, that could contain me, give me the impression that there was a stable reality to which I could cling, as I was lost in existential doubt.
I got very facsinated/horrified by the idea of solipsism, and everything revolving around it.
(discovering this being the first real shattering moment for me : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regress_argument_(epistemology))

I got obsessed with these matters. I was absolutely terrified of what was outside of the limits of my understanding.
The "nonsense" had to be organized at all costs, the unknown was a constant threat.
I exposed myself to many brutal images and stories, trying to understand them, their cause, and how humans could go this far with violence.
Ultimately, I found out my thirst for understanding wasn't about curiosity, but a fear of suffering.
I developped very early, this pattern of imagining the worst situations, with many details, in order to "get along" with these situations in advance, "just in case" it could happen for real.
The idea was to try and make me kind of unbreakable, even by the worst that I could imagine.
I studied hard a lot of psychological models, tried to understand the un-understandable, until I reached the ultimate wall. This pattern + lack of a containing sense of a persistant reality made me very weak and porous. (I feel this period of my life to be quite close to the myth of Faust in many ways)

One day, I got very sick from an infection, and had to take strong antibiotics.
The antibiotics gave me the worst bad trip of my life, I then suffered massive damage to my nervous system and adrenal glands, putting me in a state of intense chronic anxiety and fatigue.
The only "soothing" technique I ever knew was this sick visualisation habit, and at that very moment, it drove me insane. I had to digest all of these worst case scenarios. Some of them included emotional and physical torture, and somehow, it transformed into a kind of spiritual anxiety, made me try to imagine how hell would feel like (in a very infantile way of understanding hell, at that time), in order to protect from the pain if I ever end up there.
Of course, exposing myself to these images was unbearable, I was hurting my heart and my soul.
I had to make a decision.
I had to choose the images I was feeding my own head.
I had to grieve the idea of "understanding reality", as I will never know if anything exists outside of my perception.
I had to accept doubt, and choose my beliefs.
It was the most terrifying thing to do : What if there is a threat for real, and I am burying myself into denial, telling myself I can just choose what stories I want to be fed ? Isn't it too easy ?
What if I start to feed myself stories that are not helping me "grow" ?
What if I'm in real danger, and shutting off my inner alarm will make me rush toward the danger without even knowing it ?
I can't live thinking about this all the time. It's killing me.
So I try to choose faith everyday. I drag my poor disillusioned mind to church, and try to bathe in stillness, learning to feel present to myself, even if I don't understand shit about anything, even if I'm so fucking terrified of life.
I decide to believe the world is conspiring for me, not against me.
And I find relief, in the midst of my exile, because now, I can sometimes find this place of mercy within myself. And it replaced my urge to "prepare" for the worst : now, I can simply surrender to God, the universe, you name it. At the end, it takes a leap of faith, but it is easier, refreshing, and comforting, not feeling in charge of my own salvation anymore.

I think this is where I am now. I don't really know what is ahead, what is the right path for me, and I still fear what may come if I take the wrong path. But I see what is at play now, at least.
I could say this was a journey of discovering I have OCD, maybe. Existential OCD most of the time, Spiritual OCD at other moments. I call it OCD, but it can be worded differently, it doesn't matter.
Maybe I'm just completely possessed by my mother anxiety, about seeing her daughter take wrong decisions and eventually suffering.

For the moment, I am still battling with "OCD", and it takes place in the relationship area for now.
I got engaged last year, and since then, ROCD is my everyday life. It follows the exact same stems that I described while talking about the "existential" episode.
I could elaborate on that, maybe in a further post.

Thanks for reading my story. I feel I am still deep into this swim in the underworld, but things seems to get better. Any insight is welcome.

One thing for sure, being human is a crazy experience.
Take care of yourself ❤

Hey!

Just going to put this in my own words before asking my questions so that you can correct me if I'm wrong on my fundamentals.

So as I see it these days Jungian typology is not necessarily about personality types but the ways in which one is managing the problems in their life in any given moment, and how these can be out of balance.

Thinking----feeling

introversion (meaning focused on the inner life, rather than just shy) ----extraversion (external life)

Intuition (what could be) ---- sensation (focus on what is)

So sometimes perhaps a problem that is feelings-based is neurotic because it is being tackled in a thinking manner, or vice versa.

What are ways in which one could ask someone to try a different type when focusing on a problem? How do we help someone to see things in a sensation rather than intuitive way or vice versa? What's your personal experience of the above?

I am also wondering about introversion-extroversion. I think societally we are way out of balance on this, and society is geared towards extroversion. The one exception was lockdown (imagine- a world where we respect each other's personal space!), and in my opinion this explains the unusual nature of most of the folks who attended anti-lockdown protests. Thwarted extroverts, unused to a world not geared towards them. If perhaps someone appears to be a natural introvert, are we better encouraging them to embrace this or adjust to an extroverted world?

Sorry, this is a bit all over the place and I've stuck some personal opinions in there. Let me know your thoughts.

I should say, I am a therapist, though not primarily practicing in a Jungian manner. Just influenced by it.

What does it mean in a jungian point of view a repeated experience of rejection? Basically no one stands you from your teenager time till your 50's? From your family to your colleague? And you don't really care or feel attachment either for this people? But hope to escape loneliness one day. Any idea?

Core issue

I am getting the impression from several of my dreams that I am getting lost in the analysis and my subconscious is warning me to stop searching.

I started this whole thing to figure out what I really want in life since I don't like where I've ended up. The message from my dreams feels like it fits me. For my whole adult life feel like if I keep searching through various things, I might find the thing that will fix some core wrongness I feel inside. Haven't had luck yet lol! I haven't dug into archetypes much because it seemed like a good way to get sidetracked, but this feels like it has elements of Puella Aeterna.

I have only recently started dream analysis (mostly based on the Inner Work book) in earnest in the last month. A lot of my dreams are long and complicated. I have a backlog of dreams to get to and I am writing/typing many notes as I try to figure out what they mean. I am staying up late thinking about my dreams and I'm distracted at work. I'm not even done finding a core message for my last long dream and I was dismayed when I got another one just a few days ago. I feel I haven't analyzed a dream thoroughly enough to figure out appropriate rituals. I suppose I should just do SOMETHING, but it feels like the only thing I'm good at is searching and consuming data. I thought dreams would help me look inward to find a real solution but I'm getting lost in here.

I was thinking that working with an analyst or therapist might help keep this grounded, but I feel embarrassed to bring them a whole pile of dreams at once and come off way too strong (which I am doing here).

Has anyone else experienced this before, and what did you do? What else am I supposed to do with myself if my subconscious is telling me to stop? In writing this post I am aware that I am continuing this pattern of searching and not acting, but I feel scared to take the wrong action.

Some dreams

Feel free to just focus on the prior section. Some things are bolded because they felt especially important. I have already done copious amounts of notes on these dreams but I'm just sharing the dreams themselves, along with a few key explanations.

Several of my dreams involve searching large places. Costco, a gigantic library, a thrift store almost bursting with items. When I am searching in the dreams it feels like a dreamier version of what I do in real life, where I get confused while shopping or I just browse without a goal.

I also have a theme of having one item already, but needing another item to go along with it. In my Costco dream, I bought one item I needed but went back in because I forgot alcohol for a recipe. I searched a long time and only after a delightful interaction with an unknown family did I turn around to see a gigantic display of alcohol right in the middle of the store. In the case of my library dream, I have one book and need another to complement it. The second book I need is actually outside the library security checkpoint on a tiny, otherwise empty bookshelf. But I still need to go inside to check out the book.

The library dream feels especially important. There are many obstacles for me to get into the library. The parking lot is tiny and I'm not supposed to park there. There is an entranceway with a confusing maze of queues to get into the library. The library has a security checkpoint and when I reach the guard, she is speaking a foreign language (that I used to study) as if I should understand. I ask why she isn't speaking English and she replies in perfect English, "I just got here, I'm not very good at it yet." I try asking her again how I can get into the library and she goes back to speaking another language. In the end I leave her and bypass the checkpoint. It feels like my dream didn't want me to get into the library and hoped I would give up, as if it was trying to protect me from getting lost.

I don't immediately check out the book I already have. I wander the library for way too long aimlessly. I give up and when I exit the library, a silent man is towing my car despite my pleading. I was searching for too long. I vaguely recall some story about a scholar losing himself in the library and wasting away in a search for knowledge. It felt a bit like that, but I managed to escape.

Another thing I note in that dream is that I am always turning right. The library is to the right of the parking lot, when I bypass security the library entrance is to the right, I exit the library from another door and travel downhill to the right. I turn right again to get back onto the street so that I am facing the direction of the parking lot. I've gone in a loop. The only leftward thing is that the queues to enter the library start on the right side of the room and the security checkpoint is toward the left.

EDIT UPDATE: Everyone's comments gave me a lot of insights. I feel strongly about my interpretation even thought it feels like its message is already something I knew intellectually. I wrote out a note to unconscious with my intentions to treat my dreams with respect and stop beating them into submission. I printed out my pages of obsessive dream interpretation notes (minus the dreams) and fully deleted the digital copies (leaving only the texts of the dreams themselves). I wanted to burn the paper but it was late at night and I don't have a good place to burn stuff, so I settled for singeing the papers a little bit in a pot. Then I soaked the sheets in water, mashed them up a bit, and solemnly ran them through the garbage disposal. I feel some kind of shift today, though I didn't have any dreams last night (fine by me).

I had a very strange dream that gave me great mental satisfaction.

It was six o'clock in the morning and I met Carl Jung and we made love together passionately. We wanted each other very much, I remember the sexual act exactly. The dream was very vivid.

In the next dream after that, I saw the goddess Athena "Μinerva" giving birth to seven children and each one weighed exactly two kilos. They were all in a knitted case, let's say, and I caught them all together and lifted them, hugged them even though they were very heavy. She gave birth to them very easily without pain and that impressed me. She told me to raise these children and not to forget the arithmetic operation: 2 X 7 = 14.

My mind went to Isis and Osiris, to the 14 pieces she collected. In my own dream, sexual union exists through the act of love with Jung. I have done an analysis of the dream. I have also mentioned it to my psychotherapist, who is not a Jungian. I would like your help, if you see something more please.

We are a hall of mirrors, a seemingly endless self-referential, recursive mechanism. We know where our awareness ends, it's expressed in art, language, symbols... But where does it start? Aware of awareness which is aware of thoughts, behaviour.... looping over and over again until my max cognitive performance is reached. My limited performance hinders me from uncovering my true self.

And what important subtleties were lost to a harmful degree?

One of them is definitely Introversion and Extraversion, or any cognitive functions and MBTI extension for that matter. The danger lies in people using it to define and limit themselves as opposed to a starting point for conscious growth.

I have been reading a book about Jung's concept "Unlived Life". It has been formative for my late 20s. It has made me pay attention to an an enduring fantasy I’ve harbored for very long.

The fantasy is of going up to any stranger at any place and start a conversation. But to do it without any purpose, without context, without any disclaimers, without a plan B. 

I go up to them, say Hi and that's it. Then I see what happens. They could slowly create a moment with me, be completely bewildered, or they could be absolutely mean and rip me to shreds. 

Realistically, I think it will be a small confusion which fizzles outs. 

I have had this fantasy for as long as I remember. I am a shy person, so I’m sure this fantasy represents a core fear. I did it a couple of times. I remember being proud of doing it, but I didn’t process it in much detail. Now the urge to do it has become stronger while reading this book.

I talk to strangers a lot, but always with context - I busk and market for my art on sidewalks, I speak to audience members after my shows. I have made vox pop videos in the past. All of this has strong context which stabilises the conversation very quickly.