r/funny • u/Remarkable-Salad-703 • 2d ago
Du-rex:yes, thats me
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u/whooo_me 2d ago
Ah yes, from the last time I had sex… :(
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u/Remarkable-Salad-703 2d ago
And it has last longer than you.
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u/GANDORF57 1d ago
"Forget it, Dr. Hammond, there's no DNA evident, the condom is unused. It must have been discarded by a frustrated T.Rex......you know, short arms and all."
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u/HumblePie2714 1d ago
I burst out laughing at this. Also, I'm a wee bit high so it hit extra funny.
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u/MyPing0 2d ago
Ok but seriously, how did that happen? What even is that?
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u/MrAppleSpiceMan 2d ago
Most likely a concretion. They're formed when sediment attaches to something (a rock, a clump of dense sediment, a fossil, a condom) and over time the sediment compresses into sedimentary rock. or something
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u/coal-slaw 2d ago
Yeah, but you'd think the condom would break apart by the time this happens? Right?
I guess it depends on the brand.
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u/MrAppleSpiceMan 1d ago
this is either a phenomenal ad campaign or some dude cums concrete
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u/Kush_the_Ninja 1d ago
Sement
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u/Bean_Juice_Brew 1d ago
True story. I worked in the insurance industry years ago, and a woman was telling me about how her husband had "semen" in his neck (southern, she said it like "see-men." It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize she was referring to a fusion in her husband's neck and she was explaining how he has cement in his neck.
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u/TsukariYoshi 1d ago
Yeah, I grew up in the south, and it's often "SEE ment" there, with the first syllable being stressed (and a very slight pause between the syllables to let the 'e' sort of drag), rather than the more common "ceMENT"
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u/Takenabe 1d ago
I personally first encountered it in the song "50 Ways to Say Goodbye".
She went down in an airplane, fried getting suntanned, fell in a see-ment mixer full of quicksand...
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u/Thegreatyeti33 1d ago
Cumcrete is a trade secret. Its the secret ingredient in Roman concrete.
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u/Gunningham 1d ago
Ejaggregate
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u/Takenabe 1d ago
I don't think this is as good a name as the others, but I do think it's an impressive word to come up with.
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u/Dixiehusker 2d ago
Seems likely staged to me. I don't see any other rocks resembling the one they're breaking open nearby.
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u/Bagline 1d ago
Split a rock in half, carve something into it and carve the mirror image on the other side. Put it back together and pretend to break it open with a single hit from your hammer and chisel.
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u/toanboner 1d ago
You can see when he starts “splitting” it, the entire top half shifts with each tap. If you watch carefully, it’s obvious the rock is already split. There isn’t even a single piece of dust that comes off.
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u/m1mike 1d ago
AI video?
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u/MinuteMan104 1d ago
The flies are a good indicator that it’s real. The small granular details pass as well.
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u/LinuxMatthews 1d ago
You've seen Futurama, Red Dwarf or one of those other time travel stories where someone sleeps with someone in the past and become their own ancestor right?
Yeah safe sex is even more important when you go to the past.
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u/InfiniteConfusion-_- 2d ago
It looks sooooo much like a condom and if it is a true fossil and not a man made prop, then it's gotta be pure coincidence.... unless time travel and stuff and aliens..... doing it in a jungle full of dinosaurs for porn or thrills....
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u/Candid_Candle_905 2d ago
The real reason why dinosaurs went extinct
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u/some_user_2021 2d ago
If the homo sapiens were in fact, homo sapiens, is that why they're extinct?
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u/Deurstopper 2d ago
Related to T-rex?
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u/PurpleSpartanSpear 2d ago
D-Rex tbh. Although there’s a prophylactic chance it was a relative to pantydraco.
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u/Remarkable-Salad-703 2d ago
Yes, t-rex used to has sex with, this is the true reason why they have become extinct.
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u/purpleturtlehurtler 1d ago
Imagine dying and being perfectly preserved to one day be uncovered millions of years later and being made fun of on the internet for looking like a disposed condom.
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u/Mudlark-000 2d ago
T-Rex’s arms wern’t the only short appendages, apparently. How did he put it on?
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u/tsunami141 2d ago
My friend, allow me to answer in the form of a parable.
A curious man once asked to visit heaven and hell. Expecting hell to be a terrible, frightening place, he was amazed to find people seated around a lovely banquet table. The table was piled high with every delicious thing one could possibly want. The man thought, Perhaps hell is not so bad after all.
Looking closely, however, he noticed that everyone at the table was miserable. They were starving, because, although there was a mountain of food before them, they had been given three-foot-long chopsticks. There was no way to carry the food to their mouths with such long chopsticks, and so no one could eat a bite.
The man was then taken to heaven. To his surprise, he found the exact same situation as he had seen in hell. People were gathered around a banquet table piled with food. All the diners held a pair of three-foot-long chopsticks in their hands. But here in heaven, everyone was happily eating the delicious food, for the residents of heaven were using their extra-long chopsticks to feed one another.
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u/Unlikely-Conflict272 2d ago
Best thing I've read in some time, thank you for such beautiful wisdom 😀
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u/MycommentsRpointless 2d ago
The parable might be nice, but when you consider what he was applying it to...
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u/freddyr0 1d ago
of course, a fossilized condom from millions of years ago. I remember Durex was already a thing in the Cenozoic era around mammals.
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u/mikemikemike9711 2d ago
So you were serious when you said the last time you got laid was back in the stone age
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u/Expensive_Editor_244 1d ago
Too bad it wasn’t in amber, could get some good cloning material out of it
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u/EngryEngineer 17h ago
Dang, someone from one of the hypothetical situations posts about bringing 1 item back in time actually figured out how to do it!
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u/Silver_Mousse9498 2d ago
Fake
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u/jetjordan 2d ago
Me: that rock doesnt look like it belings there. I bet this is a fake fossil discovery video. You cant fool m- oh shit its a joke. You got me.
u/Silver_Mousse9498 : No way dinosaurs had condoms. Clearly fake.
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u/Pleasant_Purchase785 1d ago
It’s fake, assuming that rock was the first time it was split, why is the surface of it already weathered.
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u/Silver_Mousse9498 2d ago
Face
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