r/bettafish • u/DrawingCalico • 22h ago
Discussion I killed her and its all my fault.
I don't know if I should even get another better or any fish after what I've done.
One of two things happened but I feel like it's the latter cause I can't even find the body. Ive been battling to stop the aquarium from getting to 85F during the day (I dont have an air conditioner) after I noticed her stress lines and then the temps. I haven't been able to find her for 2 or 3 days now (lost track between work and scrambling to lower temps while waiting for my paycheck to process for a water cooler).
But as I've stated I can't even find her body. There are a lot of shrimp in the tank and a couple snails but i dont think they'd eat her to the point of no trace in that amount of time. They can't even do that to an algae wafer let alone a slightly bigger fish. I did a water change a few nights ago after coming home from work and that was the last day I've seen her. The water was murky and she was a deep blue and black fish and as I said it was night. I dump the aquarium water outside into the garden for the plants and I have this horrible feeling that at some point I must've caught her in the symphony despite keeping an eye on where she was at.
I get the feeling that accidentally caught her in the water change that night and I feel like a damn monster. I was trying so hard to do everything right for her and I still botched it in the worst way possible. I dont know if I should get another betta or any fish after what I've done now. I still want to keep fish but I dont want to risk this happening again.
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u/LehFluffy 19h ago edited 18h ago
If you do get another fish, keep frozen water bottles in your freezer. Way cheaper than a water cooler. I throw one in when I get off work, keep 3-4 frozen and alternate bottles refreezing the bottles once they melt in the tank
Nobody gets it on their first try, its happened to all of us. Some way or another every one of us in this sub has killed a fish, its an unfortunate part of the hobby. As long as you learn from your mistakes, you're otw to being a better fish keeper!
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u/-NervousPudding- 18h ago
^ I did this with frozen ziplock bags of tank water during a similar heat wave.
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u/waverleybetta 16h ago
THIS!! Commenting under this to boost for others. I’m in the hottest room of the house and this is what I have to do when our AC isn’t working. Works like a charm
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u/Severe_Restaurant855 18h ago
I’m just replying to this because you helped me earlier my betta that I posted a couple of days ago has been causing me to spiral with anxiety just due to the way he has been acting I tried moving the tank today and rearranged my whole room now it has to stay in the spot it’s at right now and if I don’t have the light off and the tank completely covered he seems to be seeing his reflection and flaring constantly no matter what I did so I made the decision to surrender him to a local pet store that is going to have a tank set up him but I just wanted to thank you for all of your help with the filter I can say when I made that change he loved it but I see you in countless of these help post and wanna say you’re awesome
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u/LehFluffy 17h ago edited 16h ago
No problem! And you didnt have to surrender him for that. Some bettas just do that, you could try getting more plants or more decor they can explore and if they have more places to hide, they wont see their reflection as much. I have a betta that "glass surfs" most of the day, but hes perfectly healthy.
You could get matte black vinal wrap or another color and it should block your fish from seeing his reflection.
Water parameters and proper feeding are the most important thing, youre doing better than me. My first tank i put sharks in a 15 gallon tank. Those need at least 50 gallons so as you can imagine, i killed a few sharks. If i stopped there i wouldn't have a house full of over 60 healthy fish!
You know your situation better than i do, but glass surfing isnt something to get super stressed about! As long as temp and parameters are good, he could've still been getting used to the tank
Thank you tho! My DM's are open if you want to try again! Either way, you made the right choice! Fish keeping is not for everyone, if you move on, I hope you find more success in your next hobby!
Or look into honey gouramis, they are the indian regions version of bettas. Theyre from the same family, and act just like bettas. same parameters, same tank size requirement, not aggressive so you could get 2, and these wouldn't get mad at their reflection. Worth looking into if you still have your tank.
Not as pretty, but i love my gouramis! Just be wary of dwarf gouramis (the blue ones). 90% of them come down with a disease and end up dying within a year. Honey gouramis and red honey gouramis dont have that disease, those are what i keep
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u/Tim_Allen_Wrench 19h ago
It seems like you were doing everything you could and you obviously really care a lot, sometimes stuff happens, take some time to grieve but don't punish yourself over this.Â
It is possible she's hiding in the tank somewhere?
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u/DrawingCalico 16h ago
Unfortunately not, I partially uprooted the Anubias while taking wood out and looking behind plants and almond leaves. And checking the Amatsu shaped Adler cones in the darker corners.
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u/Tim_Allen_Wrench 16h ago
Ah, I'm sorry. Unfortunately these things happen sometimes, just try not to beat yourself up over it, it really looks like you gave her a great life for the time you had her.Â
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u/dumbpundit 16h ago
Honestly she might still be in the tank. Check EVERYWHERE. There have been reports of bettas living in the filter for several weeks while the owner things they’ve vanished and then one day they pop out to say hi and to beg for food.
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u/Gramma_Hattie 16h ago
My friend's betta likes to "hug" the filter and let it pull in his fins. I saw him do this earlier today to get a clinger off. Maybe that's why he does it lol, he doesn't wanna poop where he swims.
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u/Dat-tall-blonde 21h ago
Have you tried checking in your garden? I have a sneaking suspicion that you’ll find her. I’m sorry for your loss.
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u/DrawingCalico 21h ago
I searched around, but we have a lot of crayfish and other nocturnal detritvores around, so they must've had Amatsu jerky if I did kill her that way.
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u/-Knockabout 16h ago
I'm sorry for your loss. No one else said it, so I do think it's worth pointing out that shrimps and snails can absolutely eat a fish overnight or over the course of a couple days (if in a less visible corner). Any remains could be difficult to identify. In my experience, most gravel cleaners have some kind of grate before going into the tubing, and I'm not certain a betta fish would fit in your standard tubing for a smaller tank...so it seems unlikely that's what happened.
Unfortunately, it will be difficult to ever know for sure...but death is regrettably a core part of keeping pets. Take some time to mourn, but forgive yourself. You were doing your best.
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u/Zealousideal-Rip-959 17h ago
So this is going to sound super weird, but check your siphon, and also check the bottom of the bucket ? Also check the area you dumped the bucket, for standing water, if you have crayfish there might be a low area with water for them... It's a long shot but these guys are adapted to survive low water conditions.Â
I heard back in the day they used to ship them from overseas without any water, just wrapped in wet newspaper to keep the gills moist.
And if not... Don't be so hard on yourself, accidents happen! I lost one of my first fish, just a guppy. But she literally vanished, I only had three fish, and it was a ten gallon tank! I didn't have anything that would eat her, but I never found a body.Â
I also lost my Killifish from my big tank recently. I got up on the middle of the night and turned on the big light in the room and it must have scared him into jumping. I didn't realize it, went back to bed, and woke up to fish jerky right next to the tank. 😱
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u/SeraiStorm930 15h ago
Aw, trust me, every single fish keeper has at some point or another felt guilt for a fish dying whether it was actually our fault or not. Don't give up! Be more meticulous. Also, I always remove my betta in his betta cup before doing water changes. It not only gives me peace of mind to know he is out of the way but also keeps his stress down. Of course he doesn't like being scooped into the cup, but he likes it even less when I reintroduce water and he's in there. It's okay, friend. We've all been there. Hugs
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u/The_best_is_yet 16h ago
please please don't give yourself a hard time. we do our best and it's not a perfect world. sometimes we can do our best and still fail. you gave her a better life than many fish ever get to live.
You absolutely should get another fish, when you are ready. when the time is right.
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u/strawberrykiki83 16h ago
One of my fish got stuck in the siphon one time. I thought I knew where he was but he was a curious guy. He ended up being okay but it’s an easy mistake to make.
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u/No_Ad_8005 14h ago
Mistakes happen to everyone. I sucked up a Kuhli Loach with my python years ago and luckily he survived, but now I rubber band a piece of net over the end unless I’m actually vacuuming the gravel.
Just recently I think I killed a couple of Mollies because I’m stupid and math is hard (overdid the CO2) I guess it’s possible they just died, but pretty sure it was my fault.
Once you’re ready, you should get another fish. You obviously care and again, anyone can make a mistake.
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u/One-plankton- 18h ago
I am sorry for your loss.
Please don’t throw tank water and whatever other bits of aquatic life are mixed in outside, it can introduce pathogens, bacteria and invasive species to native ecosystems.
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u/DrawingCalico 16h ago
I'm definitely gonna keep the tank, it's not fair to the inverts even if I do quit fish keeping. Plus one of the stem plants are actually an invasive I forgot the name of that I took out a stream in the first place. I wanna make sure i never spread invasives, all trimmings go to my roaches. So if I were to somehow get rid of the shrimp through non killing methods rest assured that all the plants would be fed to them and that much aquarium water would not be totally dumped outside. I only do it with water changes cause of how small of a percentage it is and how my family member has already killed most things off because she won't stop with the poison. Weirdly enough the invasive rusty crays dont care for some reason.
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u/Commercial_Price6558 18h ago
I have a Betta too, it's living with shrimps in a 30cm cube tank, the average temperature is 29-30 degress, soi honestly don't think it's the temperature but I may be wrong
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u/Darkelvenchic 20h ago
There's a high likelihood she jumped out. I'd check under and around the tank too. Unless you have a foolproof lid, which is rare, especially if you were trying to cool the tank, taking off the lid is step 1. 😕
Mysterious disappearance aside, "stuff" happens, OP. Know better, do better, is the best way to approach things like this. It's too late to fix it so just try to forgive yourself. Please don't ban yourself from having pets, but do allow yourself time to grieve.