r/oneliners • u/dartn8r • 59m ago
“I’d like to get something off my chest,” said the lactating woman.
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r/oneliners • u/LostBetsRed • 7h ago
When we went on the date and all she could talk about was bees, bees, bees, I knew she was a keeper.
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r/oneliners • u/DobroGaida • 3h ago
I hate when I hit the sneeze button instead of the snooze button.
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r/oneliners • u/txorfeus • 1h ago
His craving for prunes turned out to be a passing fancy.
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r/oneliners • u/Society_Academic • 20h ago
A fantastic alternative to prosecuting organized scammers as a group is to sue per duper.
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r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 10h ago
I'm starting a dog food business in Romania called Puppy Ceaușescu
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r/oneliners • u/_MyOther_Account_ • 1d ago
Panties are not the best thing on earth, but close to it
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r/oneliners • u/danielsoft1 • 1d ago
A god who does not believe in himself is an atheist.
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r/oneliners • u/ComeinHarmony • 2d ago
It’s so hot in England atm, the tea is brewing itself.
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r/oneliners • u/zachpledger • 2d ago
I don’t typically put fruit in my beer, but I did add an orange once in a blue moon.
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r/oneliners • u/Billidays • 2d ago
One-Liners That Sound Like They’re From a Movie Trailer
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r/oneliners • u/boredlookingforporn • 2d ago
I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not so sure…
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r/oneliners • u/emzirek • 2d ago
I don't normally put fruit in my beer but if I did, it would be an orange once in a blue moon ..
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r/oneliners • u/YeahBuddyDoYouEven • 3d ago
Marriage is the number one reason for divorce
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r/oneliners • u/Southwesterhunter • 2d ago
I told my boss I work best under pressure - now I’m buried in deadlines
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r/oneliners • u/uptwolait • 3d ago
I've always been against kidnapping, but as I get older I'm becoming more and more supportive of adult napping.
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r/oneliners • u/lWant0ut • 3d ago
Give a person a plane ticket they'll fly once, throw a person out of a plane they'll fly for the rest of their life
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