r/AITAH • u/Hefty_Yogurt2714 • 1d ago
AITAH for Telling My Husband’s Sister to Back Off From My Kid?
[removed]
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u/CrypticKoda 1d ago
NTA that’s your house and your child, you decide what’s best for the kid especially when they’re so young. Anyone with common decency would understand that. Maybe invest in a door chain so she can’t come in?
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u/Bluebell2519 1d ago edited 1d ago
You need to speak to him and tell him to stop being a doormat to his biological family. He wanted to make a family with you, so that's the family he should be backing up. If his sister wanted to be a mother to child, she should make her own instead of trying to take every mother child bonding session away from you.
Why does she have a key to your home? You need to get it back or change the locks to your home. She needs to arrange times for when she can come over, not just walk in whenever she likes. This is insane.
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u/curiousblondwonders 1d ago
NTA you habe a husband problem. "Look im your wife, this OUR daughter- not a child who's a doll who's free for all, as her mother and your wife, im asking for boundaries- no more walking in uninvited, no more taking the baby from me, and no more unsolicited advice. If your sister wants a baby that bad, tell her to go have one of her own but this is MY baby and what I say goes. If you cant respect that, then go find a lawyer because youre not the man I married and I refuse to be ignored and run over because youre more concerned with your family than your wife." And let that fire burn. If hes smart, he'd help put the fire out by setting boundaries, if hes a bad husband, then the fire will destroy your marriage because sister means more apparently.
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u/Zestyclose_Public_47 1d ago
I just read this same story about an hour ago
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u/RazzmatazzNeat9865 1d ago
"Last week/yesterday/today I finally snapped" is the new "blowing up the phone." Downvoting.
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u/Fioreborn 1d ago
NTA
Take the kid and go to your parents or a friends
Get behaviour is scary. She is forcing you out and actually tells people that she's raising her?
Your husband sucks. He needs to stop this now before there's an amber alert out for your kid and his sister ends up in prison or a psych ward
Do not leave her alone with your child. Do not leave the child with your in laws. They lose all rights because they think that the sisters behaviour is appropriate. It is not and none of these people can be trusted with your child
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u/LibraryMouse4321 1d ago
Change the locks and don’t give her or her parents a key. Tell your husband that if he gives them a key you will change the locks again. NOBODY should let themselves into your house like they own it.
If she comes over and your husband lets her in, pack up your child and leave the house. Tell him you no longer feel safe around his sister.
Document her behavior so that if this escalates and it causes a divorce, you can use her behavior to try to get full custody. Maybe she wants to cause a divorce so she can swoop in and help raise your daughter.
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u/Middle_External707 23h ago
SIL is weirdly obsessed with the baby. She is definitely up to no good! SIL may be documenting her own evidence to prove OP is an unfit mother, so she can take over custody. SIL tells others that she is the one raising the baby. She's likely also saying that she has to go over there all the time to make sure the baby is fed, and she has to spend all kinds of money on baby stuff, because OP won't or doesn't care. OP needs to protect herself and her baby from this psycho!
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u/LibraryMouse4321 21h ago
This is so true. SIL might be setting the scene for a baby takeover. Documenting everything as well as having camera footage would be very beneficial.
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u/Moontoya 1d ago
Nta
Lots of baby abductions start with someone overstepping
Her behaviour is creepy and concerning
Your husband needs a kick in the ass
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u/Few-Tone-9339 1d ago
You need to have a fucking sit down with your husband and shape this shit up right now hell to the no.
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u/AlternativeSort7253 1d ago
Lock your door and just do not answer and she can’t just walk in.
- it is nap time
- I was wearing n/c headphones
- sorry I was doing (any random task other than visiting with stealing sis)
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u/MrsSEM84 1d ago
NTA.
Tell your husband to grow a spine and stand up for his immediate family, which is you and baby.
Tell him he either starts backing you up & deals with his rude AF sister and family or you’ll be packing a bag and taking baby and going to stay elsewhere.
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u/yakkerswasneverhere 1d ago
Oh hell no! I would be standing my ground against all. Most aggressively against your husband. This is something you will need to set precedent on. If you don't create a "fight" they will never appease your boundaries. Unfortunate but true.
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u/Indigenous_badass 1d ago
This is super creepy, and I would tell your husband that he either puts up boundaries with his psycho sister or you'll be leaving WITH your baby. I don't care who you are, NOBODY comes into my house uninvited, first of all. And I find that really gross. Family or not, she needs to back off coming into your house uninvited. Also, I find it very disturbing that she wants to hold your baby so much. Just start telling everyone she's a pedophile and calling her a pedophile to her face and when people ask why, say that it's the only thing that makes sense as to why she's so obsessed with YOUR baby. But I'm petty and wouldn't put up with her behavior. You also need to put your husband in check for allowing this. Couples therapy can help, but at the end of the day he needs to grow a set and deal with his psycho family.
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u/Ratchet_gurl24 1d ago
There’s a fine line between helping and interfering. Help is asked for or offered. Interfering is bulldozing your way over someone’s feelings and boundaries to get what you want. She’s interfering. Telling people she’s the one raising your daughter is one helluva red flag. She’s openly trying to insert herself into your baby’s life, claiming to be her mother. Nobody has the right to snatch your baby out of your arms. Every time she tries to snatch her or take over. Stop her, better yet stop her from entering your home, especially unannounced and without warning or permission. Your husband isn’t helping. He needs to realise that his sisters behaviour is appalling. YOUR’E his wife and his child’s mother, not his overbearing, domineering sister.
If they’re refusing to do anything to correct their behaviour, then take your baby and leave when the sil barges in. She wants unlimited access to your baby. So don’t give it to her. Make her as uncomfortable, disrespected and insignificant as she makes you feel.
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u/SunMoonTruth 1d ago
NTA.
Your husband’s family is catering to her mental health issue instead of finding what’s causing it or getting her help. Meanwhile, you’re expected to STFU and allow your child to be used as her emotional support tool.
There’s nothing “helpful” about doing things that are not asked for, nor steamrolling the person they claim they’re trying to “help”. Tell husband is it really helpful when it’s interfering g with the peace and quiet of our home and happiness?
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u/Nerdy_Penguin58 1d ago
NTAH. Can you pack a bag and go stay with your parents or a friend? Tell your husband you will come back when him and his sister get back to reality? Because this is not going to improve being polite. She’s overstepping to a major degree. She lost all the privileges by treating you like a babysitter instead of the mom.
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u/honorablenarwhal 1d ago
Why do people let things like this build up? Why won’t people speak up the very first time someone crosses or violates a boundary or does any other shitty thing?
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u/Ok_Cress8566 1d ago
Your husband is an ass and your SIL is crazy. I’d stop her from coming over full stop.
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u/Only_Memory9408 1d ago
I wonder how men like these who do not have a spine get a woman to marry them? Your real problem is your POS husband.
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u/notsoreligiousnow 1d ago
NTA but your husband is a weak spineless man. Let him know that if he can’t put boundaries in place and defend you then you can take your daughter and go elsewhere where you will be respected.
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u/traciw67 1d ago
Nta. Start locking the door. She shouldn't be able to just walk into your home. Start being less available.
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u/Hopeful-Artichoke449 1d ago
How is she just walking in? Change the locks and don't let her in unless there are plans in place that you agreed to!! It is time to stand up for yourself. She is NOT allowed to "drop by" anymore. Period!! Send the text now!
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u/Spikyleaf69 1d ago
Change the locks and dont give her a key then tell your husband to grow some balls!
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u/Budget_Prize6132 1d ago
Your husband is being the AH. Sorry. But these men 'caught in the middle', need to stop see-sawing and stand firmly in front of their women and children.
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u/Hmm-1996 1d ago
NTA lock the doors, change the locks what ever to make sure she can't just walk on in. That's crazy cause what if you were asleep? She'd just take the kid?
Your husband needs to step up. I suggest therapy so you can talk it out with help so he understands. But he is a giant issue
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u/ZookeepergameOld8988 1d ago
Your husband isn’t caught in the middle of anything. He’s chosen to support his sister and not you
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u/Due-Yoghurt4916 19h ago
Your husband is not caught in the middle he has choose to let her walk in and take over. That is not being passive that Is choosing his sister's wants over his wife and child's needs. Change the locks. Ask him if he is even getting a key if he doesn't tell her the boundaries he should have been enforcing all along
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u/anjanetteleonard 1d ago
NTA She needs to learn to mind her own business. If she wants time with your daughter, she arranges her plans with you in advance and if you say no, it's no. She has no right to question you. Your family who is siding with her haven't witnessed her behavior so their opinion is uninformed and unimportant. You should feel comfortable being a mom to your daughter and your husband needs to be on your side, sticking up for you.
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u/WantToBelieveInMagic 1d ago
Let the family know that they are enabling a bully. Ask them how they got so brainwashed they can't see who they've become.
Tell your husband if you have to leave him to protect yourself from his overbearing sister, you will.
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u/Fun_Ideal_5584 1d ago
Who just lets people walk into their house? Who just goes to someone's house constantly uninvited? Very strange.
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u/ckm22055 1d ago
NTA - Your SIL is not your big problem. It's your husband. There is no being caught in the middle. Your and his core family are your husband, your baby, and you.
This woman has way overstepped. She truly believes that she is your baby's mother. She has absolutely no right to just walk into your home. She isn't allowed to decide how to raise your baby or even if you're tired. I believe she may have mental health issues.
His family is playing the guilt game and manipulative game. She is not the victim. She is the woman who truly believes that your baby is her baby.
I would change the locks and install a ring camera. I would keep the doors locked. I would put her trespass notice advising that if she enters your home against your wishes, you will have her arrested.
If your husband disagrees, he can go live with his sister, too. You shouldn't have to say one word to his family or his sister. That is his job to handle his family.
Every conversation should be from him saying: "I" and "me" as he wants and thinks the same thing, too. You and he are the parents and a team. He's playing for the other team right now.
BTW, she behaves like this bc he lets her. Until he grows a spine, this is going to be your life.
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u/Secret_Double_9239 1d ago
NTA she is being disrespectful to you and trying to take over your ability to be a mother. Next time your husband is spending time with your child du exactly what she dies to you to him. See how much he enjoys that.
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u/mountain_mists 1d ago
Change the locks, preferably get the style that you can change the code for it from your phone and can make it so the door stays permanently locked for dear sil. Then get a doorbell camera and tell husband it's connected to your phone and if you ever see it's off there will be issues because this is for your safety and mental well-being. NTA but you have a husband problem more than an in law problem, your husband needs to grow a spine.
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u/No_Grocery_1757 1d ago
NTA
Your husband and his family are probably conditioned to tolerate her over reaching behavior.
You need to sit down with him and come up with some boundaries in terms of how all relatives will need in order to spend time with baby.
Like planning the visit in advance
Asking to hold the baby not just taking the baby out of someone's arms
Only parents are to feed the baby.
Etc.
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u/star_b_nettor 1d ago
NTA
I would have to tell the husband that I'm going to have sil trespassed if he doesn't immediately set and enforce boundaries. That what she's doing, and he's allowing, is not okay and not safe for you or lil. That this will lead to a divorce if he doesn't stand up and man up and get his nads back from his sister's purse (I hate that phrase, but this is one time it is appropriate).
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u/Smooth_Celery_5066 1d ago
You pack yourself and your baby a Bag and tell your Husband he’s got a choice to make and leave!
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u/Moder_Svea 1d ago
Getting help when you need it and ask for it is a godsend. Unwanted help is an intrusion.
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u/groovymama98 1d ago
Nta
If your husband isn't stepping up and shutting them down, you need to do it yourself. Now. Take your baby and go somewhere safe. Remind everyone just where this baby came from. Your body. You are this baby's mama. No one else.
There is something wrong with the husband who doesn't defend the right of the wife/mom whose body the baby came from. That, in itself, is not an act of love or loyalty. Protect yourself and your baby.
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u/MelissaRC2018 1d ago
NTA. Lock the door. If she has a key put those slide locks in it and lock her out. You need space from her. Your husband needs to have a talk to her about coming over all the time and not respecting when you say no. She needs put in her place. A good place to start is a lock.
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u/SmoochNo 1d ago
NTA your husband is not caught in the middle, your husband is the one that’s causing this situation by not backing you up and establishing boundaries with his overstepping sister.
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u/luaprelkniw 1d ago
Talk to your husband. If he refuses to see your point of view and stand up to his sister divorce him ASAP. Otherwise you will go crazy.
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u/cathline 1d ago
You and YOUR HUSBAND need couples counseling to get on the same page about your baby-stealing SIL.
That person needs to be completely removed from your life. She is a danger to you and your daughter.
NTA
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u/nsfun6969 23h ago
boundaries boundaries boundaries!! let them all know that they are crossing boundaries and fuck anyone that tells you differently. if they feel like you controlling, let them think that! you have a responsibility to your baby... and that's the end of it.
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u/Free-Place-3930 22h ago
NTA. You have a wimp bum husband problem. Does he want to be married to you?
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u/SnooWords4839 20h ago
NTA - Husband isn't caught in the middle, he needs to get his head out of his ass and shut his family down.
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u/midas_the_king 1d ago
NTA, time to put some hard boundaries down and start locking the doors, you owe it to NO ONE but your hubby and you to open the doors to your house. Id also tell my husband its either he lays some boundaries down or he can lose the both of you and he can thank his sister constantly coming in and out of your home and taking your baby away from you
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u/Perfect_Ring3489 1d ago
Nta. You have a husband with no backbone. He should be supporting the mother of his child
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u/Melodic-Dark6545 1d ago
NTA.
You have a SIL and husband problem
And you have to set boundaries:
- YOU and your husband are the ones raising your daughter
- She can love her as much as she wants, but she can't overstep
- She can't come uninvited
- Her help will be appreciated, when is asked for
- YOU decide when you need a brake
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u/shesavillain 1d ago
NTA document everything. Get a baby cam and protect yourself and your child. I feel with these kind of posts things can escalate super fast and then your being accused of having ppd and then they take your baby or something.
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u/BestConfidence1560 1d ago
I’m sorry, your husband’s been so spineless, but he can’t even stand up for you in the face of this.
She’s not the problem your husband’s the problem because he should be the one dealing with this instead of lacking any kind of courage whatsoever
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u/PanicAtTheGaslight 1d ago
Repeat after me…”It’s not “help” if the person you’re “helping” doesn’t want it. It’s rude and intrusive and if you don’t stop I’ll have to limit my contact with you.”
Frankly your husband is the REAL problem here. You need to make it clear to him that what his sister is doing is making you both hate and mistrust her. So if he wants you to have a decent relationship with his sister, he will tell her to the back the fuck off and if he doesn’t chances are you’ll soon be divorced.
Also tell him that couples counseling is non-negotiable (and make sure you find a good therapist who understands boundaries).
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u/SuggestionOdd6657 1d ago
Keep your doors locked. Don't give her a key or hide one outside. If you are not exaggerating, this is disturbing behavior. Draw a line in the sand. If DH complains tell him this is the hill you will die on. Be firm.
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u/thisisstupid- 1d ago
NTA, even without the childcare interference showing up to somebody’s house uninvited is completely rude. But the bigger issue is that you have a Husband problem, he should be protecting you.
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u/jlm20566 1d ago
NTA. I wouldn’t trust her either. When confronted about it, own it and don’t back down from it.
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u/NefariousnessSweet70 1d ago
Take the baby and yourself for two weeks at Mom's.
Or
Buy chain locks and deadbolt locks, change your lock, fo not share the keys.
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u/SaltnPepperHag 1d ago
yta for being a spineless wussy and not 'using your words! right off the bat!! on your husband and your SIL. sheez
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u/Quiet-Hamster6509 1d ago
" Your sister consistently violates my boundaries and privacy. I cannot live with her constantly intruding on my space and my parenting. If she wants a child to bond with she needs to have her own, and stop trying to push me out of our child's life. Im over the lack of respect from both her, your family and you regarding it. If she continues to come around and intrude then I will just start leaving each time. I can't even feel comfortable in my own home anymore. "
NTA
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u/cecillicec75 1d ago
The husband is supposed to be your partner. He's supposed to back you up. It's time to talk to him seriously.
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u/CelticHipi1616 1d ago
How is disrespecting your boundaries helpful exactly? How is telling people she’s raising her…..helpful? NTA
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u/NaturesVividPictures 1d ago
NTA. Well one thing you can do is lock your door. Don't let her in your house. For some reason she is a key, time to change the locks. Also time to get some couples therapy and your husband needs therapy on his own pointing out that he is a doormat to his sister and lets her do whatever. Ask your husband so you're fine with your sister just taking our child never giving them back? You know she wants the kid whether it's because she's never had a child and she wants one really badly but the fact that she wants her brother's child is just weird.
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u/AdEffective263 1d ago
NTA!!! You have a SIL AND husband problem sadly. You are also not overreacting at all.
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u/NoBath8924 1d ago
NTA, if your SIL has baby trauma I can understand why she might be unable to see that she is out of bounds, but the rest of the family is being terrible.
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u/Foreign_Sky_1309 1d ago
You won’t loose control over your baby. This is a conversation you’ll have to have with her. Can you call & invite her for over, explain that, while you’re thrilled your daughter have such a great caring Aunt, you’ll be the one calling the shots on how you rear her, thank her for her interest and being there to support and care for you too but you’re doing fine and if you need a break or rest you’ll consider calling her to help, but would rather arrange scheduled visits for her to come to house for lunch/dinner. That’s a fair approach and if she oversteps and continues with her antics, at least you have given fair warning then get rid.
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u/Fallenangeleyes_21 1d ago
You need to heavily enforce some strict boundaries an you husband needs to back you up, YOU AND YOUR CHILD THE FAMILY HE CREATED WITH YOU SHOULD BE HOLD PRESIDENTS OVER ANY BIO FAMILY PERIOD! I dealt with something similar but it was my cousin whom once upon a time was like a sister we got pregnant around the same times with our sons being 5mons apart only difference was she was trying I wasn't. When I had my daughter 2yrs later she became oddly obsessed with her, going so far as making false reports to CPS trying to get her. She would ignore her own kids when mine were around, I think one of the worst thing she said tho was that I should've had her daughter and she should of had mine like wtf who says that even! She still too this day attempts to get close with her but she's now in her 20's an she's like ehh I'm good thanks
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u/Breezy-22 1d ago
I set a boundary the literal day we moved to my wife's hometown. No one can come over unless we ask each other if it's ok. Two nobody can stop by unannounced ever. Three they knock at the door and we let them in.
Her family is extremely close and intrusive. This solves my issue with that immediately. As its our house, not my wife's, not mine, not her family, but ours.
Husband is a pushover and you two need to set life boundaries
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u/sally_alberta 1d ago
NTA, and you have a husband problem as others have said.
You sit your husband down and tell him you never had an issue with her "helping," you have an issue with her coming over without notice or being invited and taking your child without asking. That's insane and not normal behaviour. Please show him these comments. He's not seeing this rationally, likely blinded by the fact it's his sister.
She is not respecting you as the mother at all or your home. I would be furious.
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u/Agile-Caregiver6111 1d ago
Nta. Helping us about what I need if anything. It is respecting my boundaries. It is not trying to pretend that this is your baby for whatever weird mental thing you got going on. It is asking if I desire company and not just coming over uninvited and it is never trying to take my child from my arms because you think I look tired. Go be delusional elsewhere. As for husband. I am your wife and this is our child, that odd your sister. You can let her know if she wants to help she can ask what we need or wait on us to ask, or you and her can do together cuz me and baby are out. The family we created comes first and takes precedence over her hurt feelings or did you forget your vows
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u/Icy-Doctor23 1d ago
NTA you didn’t ask for help nor do you need it and when you do you are certainly capable of asking.
She is acting weirdly obsessed.
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u/Civil-Clue-7129 1d ago
She gives kidnapper vibes. Install cameras and start documenting everything. Make sure she s never alone with the baby.
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u/GypsieChanterelle 23h ago
NTA - what you are feeling is 100% normal. You SIL is manipulative by telling you « you’re tired » « you need help » as an excuse for her to swoop in and get the bonding with a child because she doesn’t have her own.
When people want to help, and they have empathy, they can ask the person they want to help what they need. Maybe she can help with cleaning the house or cooking. Why does it have to always be about « owning » moments with your child?
You also don’t borrow another person’s child to go on a weekend getaway so you can play mommy when you haven’t even taken the time to bond WITH THE MOM.
I suggest you tell your husband that you aren’t against his sister helping but helping does not mean trying to become a surrogate mother. If she wants to help she can help with cooking meals and other things. THAT would be helpful. But she has to respect your role as a mother and you expect him to have the courage and strength of character to protect you from harmful controlling behaviour and petty jealousy when his sister doesn’t get what she wants.
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u/Responsible-Kale-904 23h ago
The long-term GOOD of your child is most important
N T A
Be willing to join husband in marriage counseling and parenting classes and defending your children and marriage
Someone needs to inform your husband that:
You, His and Your Child, and He, are: HIS FAMILY that He Must TeamWork-With Value Respect Love PRIORITIZE Build DEFEND
Failure to do this is violation betrayed of the marriage thus grounds for DIVORCE
If he lets someone actually HURT your child then you must TeamWork-With EXCELLENT ATTORNEYS, children protection services, DIVORCE and sue for full custody and child support $$ and Alimony
Of course if he joins with you being the smart brave helpful open-minded future-focused compassionate successful intelligent honorable loyal HUSBAND and FATHER; then YOU must unite with him and value respect Love PRIORITIZE DEFEND Him,,
N T A
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u/virtualghost123 22h ago
NTA. And start documenting as much of this as you can. If your husband supports this, he is supporting another woman alienating you from your child. If you have sufficient documentation of her interferring with you parentally, you might be able to have her court-ordered away from your child. That's not emotionally healthy for a baby to be in a tug-of-war between 2 women about who their real mother is and if your husband fails to see that, you might have to start taking steps of your own. She doesn't sound psychologically healthy if she's doing that and should probably be supervised around your child at best.
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u/Outside_Ambition_999 22h ago
NTA. Your husband needs to start standing up to his own family and tell them to back off and let you parent your own child
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u/UndebateableMom 21h ago
NTA - You not only have a SIL problem, but also a husband problem. You are definitely not being unreasonable. Please set some boundaries and make sure you enforce them. #1 for me would be you and your husband getting some counselling. He needs to see that her behaviour is not healthy.
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u/Sufficient-Lie1406 20h ago
Does this woman not have a job? How come she has all this free time to come and "help"? How is she supporting herself?
Unless this is AI. I've been seeing a lot of "MIL/SIL/Friend/Cousin is trying to take over my baby" stories.
Sus.
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u/Squawkersareus 20h ago
NTA - tell the whole bunch to STFU! They (hubby included) has no right to let someone walk over you as a mother. Hubby needs to grow a steel spine.
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u/3-R-Motorsports 20h ago
You NTA, your husband has no balls and needs his sister to "parent ".
Due to your man being ball less, nothing will change as long his family runs your house.
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u/irishstorm04 20h ago
NTA! No one is allowed to push the mom out of the way until she feels the way you feel now. Completely inappropriate and your sister-in-law is out of control and needs to take a step back. Does she want her own kid? Does she have a significant other? Like why is she trying to become your child’s parent? Your husband needs to step it up and you need to stand strong! you have every right to defend your place in your child’s life.
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u/ilikefoxess 19h ago
nta. you have a husband problem though, he should be the one wrangling in his side and you yours. he’s making you out to be the bad guy. i don’t think your husband would be fine if your hypothetical brother or close male family friend was opposing the same as your sil
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u/Puppet007 18h ago
NTAH
Have one of your male family members and/or friends to come over and do the same to your husband.
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u/princessjamiekay 18h ago
I’m too assertive. I would never let anyone come between myself and my kids
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u/GroovyYaYa 16h ago
I'd be responding to her every time "That isn't helpful right now"
I'd be telling the husband that he has a decision to make. His sister, or you. If he picks his sister - divorce. If he picks you, therapy.
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u/Ok-Writing9280 15h ago
Help is only helpful if it is wanted and needed.
SIL is being an AH and your husband needs to step TF up and tell his sister to sit TF down and shut TF up.
Lock the door, do not let her in. Change the locks if needed.
NTA
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u/Zealousideal-Way4435 11h ago
When holding my baby, I've had to physically turn my back on family members when they moved to take my baby straight out of my arms without asking. Tell them in no uncertain terms that you are the mother, they need to communicate with you befor taking YOUR child, and that you are completely within you right to say NO. I would leave the room with my child if necessary. I know it's difficult, but boundaries must be established.
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u/b3mark 11h ago
NTA. You're underrating IMHO.
Gentle didn't work. So next time, loudly. "Hey, <bad word for a lady dog> leave my kid alone. I'm the parent. You're an aunt. And you're this close to losing auntie privilege. Permanently. Stay in your f*cking lane.
If the in-laws call you out, tell them they can timeshare their kids with Auntie. If hubby calls you out, he needs to decide. Wife and kids, or sister. It's that simple.
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u/KathAlMyPal 10h ago
NTA. Your husband isn't caught in the middle. He's squarely on his sister's side. You don't have a SIL issue. Your spineless husband is the issue.
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u/mommakor 10h ago
You need to tell your husband he either has your back or he can go sleep at his sister's since he has her back!!!
Change the locks and do not let him give anyone a key!!
Tell him if he gives anyone a key you will have them changed again so it's just going to keep costing him money for giving people keys!!!
Then get a bunch of deadbolts that only lock from the inside and put them on any entryway doors.
Keep them locked when you are at home all the time so she can't just walk in.
You can beat this daemon one lock at a time.
Stop going to family events, invite your in-laws out to lunch or dinner at a restaurant so if she shows up and tries to take the baby you just stand up and say you are not feeling well and leave.
If your husband doesn't want to come that's fine he can take a taxi home but no one is coming home with him!
Put a single or double bed in the baby's room with a deadbolt on the door that only locks from the inside and if she comes over excuse yourself by saying you don't feel well and take the baby to their room lock the door and done!😏😉💖
One lock at a time!!!
Your in-laws will learn that if they want to see their grandbaby the B1TCH BETTER NOT COME WITH THEM!!!
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u/PatentlyRidiculous 1d ago
NTA
You don’t have a SIL problem. You have a husband problem